poly0329 Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 My fiance have been together almost 2 years, and during that time we have been dealing with many health issues on his part. He was always in pain, and I finally got him to go to the doctor. He ended up being diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. We changed our diet, lost some weight, yet the pain is still unbearable for him. We have been to so many specialists, and no one seems to be able to diagnose him with anything. Meanwhile, he just sits on the couch and does small, simple things around the house. He does walk every now and then, but it takes him DAYS to recover afterwards. He's not comfortable with anything he does. I'm afraid that he is letting the Diabetes control his life, instead of him controlling the Diabetes. He's being so negative about everything in his life, including me. There are times where he does try, but there are others where I know he has heard me say something, and he just doesn't respond. I know that this isn't him right now, but I don't know how to get him out of this funk. I'm sure there is nothing I can do, but I just need advice from others who have gone through it. He knows that I love him, and that I am there for him. I know that he loves me. He just always tells me how he can't be the man I need him to be, when he can't even do it for himself.
almond Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 Sounds like he might be suffering from depression. I'd address this with a doctor ASAP.
Lois_Griffin Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 I've never known Type II Diabetes to cause all over body pain 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I was married to a Type I who had to take insulin a couple times a day and we had to monitor his blood sugar count and everything. He had all KINDS of nerve and organ damage from having let his Diabetes run unchecked for years before I met him. I mean seriously, health-wise, the guy was a complete train wreck and died from renal failure at 54 years old. And with all the maladies he was suffering from, there was never, ever a time he said everything hurt, day after day. I'm not sure whether your boyfriend is just milking this because Diabetes II isn't NEARLY as debilitating as Type I and you can actually eliminate it with proper diet and exercise. Type I's can't - their pancreas no longer produce insulin so they can't diet and exercise it away. If this guy is in such pain all the time day after day, I would suspect something more like Lyme's Disease or Fibromyalgia might be the culprit. I know quite a few people with Diabetes Types I and II and none of them have this type of problem. 2
Author poly0329 Posted September 16, 2015 Author Posted September 16, 2015 He doesn't want to be on more pills, so when I suggested that (for the depression), I may have been I'm front of the firing squad. He's been on tramadol, hydrocodone, cymbalta, neurontin, Aleve, creams, patches, it all just takes the edge off, none of it makes him feel like he can function day to day.
spiderowl Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 (edited) How does he describe the pain and where is it exactly? Some antidepressants can be very good painkillers. They tackle real pain and doctors are prescribing them more and more to people who are in pain. They might help with the pain but that doesn't explain the cause. The cause could be a pain syndrome of some sort like fibromyalgia but again, little is known about what causes that though I did see an article on Science Daily that iidentified it as being caused by brain and spinal nerve issues, though I guess that research will need to be replicated. Pain syndromes can make life hell. I know because I have one. When you are in pain, everything is difficult, everything causes discomfort, and hurting most of the time makes you feel life is not worth it. I am oversensitive to cold too so that causes me pain and exacerbates any other pain. Pain is a hidden disability. You get no sympathy or understanding. All in all, it's a very tough way to live. He probably should get checked for Lyme in case that's a possibility, also try out exclusion diets to see if it is intolerance. I found out recently that milk products have been triggering abdominal pain and it is such a relief not to be facing that particular pain every day and the way it made me feel awful all over, fuzzy headed, miserable. There are no easy answers and, in my experience, doctors do not know what causes these issues. All I know is that it is very real and disabling and that one particular antidepressant has made a big difference. I now know what it must be like to feel 'normal' and not in real discomfort when there is a slight draught in a room that no-one else has even noticed. The reduction in sensitivity has other, undesirable side-effects, so I may have to abandon them. I doubt there is an alternative that would reduce the pain as much though. Edited September 18, 2015 by spiderowl
Author poly0329 Posted September 18, 2015 Author Posted September 18, 2015 The pain is mostly in his arms and legs, and when the dr asks him where, he can't say for certain whether its just joints or muscles, it just radiates all over. I hate that I can't hug him to make him "feel better." He was on Cymbalta for the pain (when they thought it was Fibro) which didn't help, just made him super happy (almost wish he'd just go back on that again!). I think the biggest thing right now is the depression, which is not helping any of this. And I don't know how to get him to get help for that, especially since he knows it runs in his family.
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