Hrtbroken316 Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 Posted a couple weeks ago about my ex gf breaking up with me, and it has been unbearably difficult. More so because of the way she did it, and the fact that she completely disappeared on me for a week before finally texting me. I now see that she wasn't right for me, and I am coping to the best of my ability. I am working out more, eating a little healthier, going to meditation classes, and working on myself. The breakup is a huge blow to my ego, and I feel as if I am experiencing something that is just absolutely gutwrenching. Having said that, the images of her body and our sexual intimacy are in my head nearly every second. I try to push the images away but they dont seem to subside. Looking back on our relationship, the sex was absolutely the best I've ever had, and she is one of the hottest girls I have ever been with. She is also a lot of sexual firsts and we became quite attached/kinky with each other. The thought of her skin, her physical features, my hand rubbing up on her....it all drives me crazy. My low self esteem make me feel that I will never feel that sense of accomplishment again, that I will never feel that type of physical chemistry again. I felt proud with her on my arm, I felt proud to to have sex with her, I felt proud to just touch her. My attraction to her stems from childhood as she is my best friends cousin. Question is, how do I get rid of these images, or the pain associated with these images? Most people on here discuss the emotional trauma associated with the loss, but mine seems to stem A LOT from a feeling that I've lost a huge sexual achievement. I consistently feel that I have lost so much emotionally , yet I tend to come back to the sexual images and her body. The truth is, I was considering breaking up with her towards the end myself so I know that we aren't right for each other. But what does this all mean? How do I get rid of the stinging pain of these images? I am scared she will always be the "hot girl" that got away.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 If this girl was a lot of sexual firsts for you, I am guessing you don't yet have much sexual experience. This is in fact a good thing, because you will likely meet other women who surpass her. It sounds to me like perhaps you don't have much to compare her to so you've put your sex life with her on a pedestal. However, you might be surprised when you start dating again and eventually get intimate with someone else. Sometimes we look back and realize that while the sex was good, it wasn't as good as it seemed at the time. I know I have experienced this, especially when I was younger.
Oregon_Dude Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 Sex is one of those things that seems incredibly important when you are NOT in a r/s - when am I gonna have it again? am I in for a 2 year dry spell? will I ever f*ck someone as hot as her again? etc. - and it's just a given when you're IN a r/s. It becomes less important in a r/s because you HAVE it. While I understand your thought process - and trust me, I've thought about my ex doing all sorts of kinky sh*t to/with me - ultimately it's self-torture and destructive. You'll probably f*ck someone as hot as her again... or maybe you won't. But stressing over it does nothing good. Just jerk off and block those thoughts out tomorrow.
theredpill Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 I've been with beautiful women and just pretty women, the best sex I've ever had is when you have a real connection, not just physical attraction, everything where you join spiritually, emotionally and physically. This made sex with the most beautiful women I'd been with seem rather boring and bland, stop letting your cock choose your sweet shugga walls.
PegNosePete Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 I try to push the images away but they dont seem to subside. Yeah, see there's the problem. If I tell you not to think of a roller-skating cockroach, what is the first thing you think of? The key here is distraction. Keep yourself busy. Don't give yourself time to think about this stuff. Yes sometimes you won't be able to help it (lying awake in bed etc) but when that happens, try to think of other things: all the exciting things you'll be doing tomorrow or at the weekend. If you fill your life then you'll find you don't have time to think about your ex. At first you might find it hard but it gets easier with time.
sowhynot Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 At first you might find it hard I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere. ...
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