Mondmellonw Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Yes, he did. Trough a mutual friend, tough. He sent me a letter. It says that he finally found what he was looking for: a person with exactly the same "monsters" (issues) than him. A person who loves him for who he is, a girl who has no problem in being a bad girl. This is what he wrote. I am feeling a bit confused. I never actually stopped feeling something towards this man, even when he lied a lot about his ex and slept with her, lied to me about his drinking issues and insulted me. I know it sounds nuts; but that is just how it is. The letter was closed, so my friend didn't see it (or that is what I think, because I doubt that he would have given it to me if he knew what was wrote on it). What do I do? I really started feeling like crap and the break up was long ago, it was when I first logged in here. Maybe my thoughts are just messed up right now, but I guess this words are a trigger for me since I have never had a person "love me for who I am". I don't know. This sucks
erklat Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Sending letter of such unsubstantial content I consider highly manipulative. 3
bluefeather Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 he had someone else give you a letter saying that he found someone as messed up as him? there is nothing good there. 1
quattrob Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 What do you do? You do nothing, it's been 2 years and that letter doesn't do or mean anything. You've come a long way why look back from a ****** letter that has no meaning to it? Don't fall back into the hole which you got out of, keep moving forward. Again it's been so long why dwell on the past and not continue living your life. 1
lop98 Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 He just sent you a dull report of how, in the past two years, he hasn't let go of his monsters (such a nice, gothic term to call your issues when you can't find a way to move past them), he remains the same and has found someone that appreciates his sameness! but wait, he also thinks you should know, and should write a letter for that, and icing on the cake, send it through a friend, all very middle school. Oh well. I'd feel too cool for that, and fold it, put it next to other useless mail and into the trash. 4
Author Mondmellonw Posted September 16, 2015 Author Posted September 16, 2015 Thanks. You're just about right... I guess that this is a great reminder of that he just isn't good for me and will never be a decent person... Or at least not anytime soon. Thanks. I'll try harder so this can't affect me any longer.
mightycpa Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I think he probably feels bad for what went down between you two. He probably would never choose to change the outcome, only the process that got you there. It is a strange attempt at making you feel better because he's positioning both himself and his girl as separate and beneath you. He wrote this in a way that you should be happy for him, and happy for yourself. Or, it could just be the warped product of a mind that is slightly off-kilter. 1
Zapbasket Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 I agree with mightycpa. At the same time, and regardless of your ex'so motivations, the fact that he sent such a note to you just makes me Seriously, what a loser. Throw away that letter, say nothing of its contents or your feelings about them to the mutual friend, and carry on. Sorry you had to endure this. If there's another communication, don't even bother reading it. 1
dumbass2 Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 He's told you that he has found someone else. Someone that he is more compatible with. Not sure why he has to tell you he's found someone that is a better fit for him. There is nothing in the letter, imo, that should be confusing after 2 years. I sense you still have feelings for him, but he just went out of his way to tell you he found someone better suited for him. 1
Zapbasket Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 He's told you that he has found someone else. Someone that he is more compatible with. Not sure why he has to tell you he's found someone that is a better fit for him. There is nothing in the letter, imo, that should be confusing after 2 years. I sense you still have feelings for him, but he just went out of his way to tell you he found someone better suited for him. And doing so was incredibly douchey: insensitive, unnecessary, small-minded and small-hearted. I can imagine it would be very "confusing" if you imagined there still was some decency in the person, because it is just bafflingly gauche. If he really found someone so great for him, then he'd not feel one iota of need to blast the news to Mondmellonw. He's probably just as big a douche in the relationshp with the new girl as he was with Mondmellonw; it's just that probably this girl has zero self-esteem to not realize she should hold out for a better guy. 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 Dumbass is right in the part where he says he suspects I still have feeling for this person. I do, because he was my first love. However, it is not love. It is just like I have good memories of him in some kind of soft place on my heart because I really did love him; no matter what he put me trough (wich, in all honesty, was not nice). However, I don't understand why he needs to let me know that he found someone so amazing. I mean, wasn't it enough with the pain he already caused? I guess it wasn't, but I'll try to let this weird incident go. Thanks for your support, Green Cove
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