disbelief Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Been with her for 3.5 yrs and have a 2.5 yr old son that is now suffering some emotional stress from the breakup. She says she wants me in her life just not right now. That was about a week ago and I haven't talked to her much other then kid drop offs etc. She's been posting stuff on social media like " it's hard not talking to that person everyday" and " I hate when I don't get my way" I guess because I stopped begging her and talking her ego doesn't like it. She also put up some picture with a quote like " being single is so nice I can do what I want when I want" And other various bs to get a reaction from me which I haven't done anything. My guess is she really doesn't want me but that she doesent want to lose my attention either. I could be wrong though. Hate that this is the mother of my child, all I want is us happy with our family. We had a family and I wanted to fight for it. I wanted to make things better. Obviously she thought it wasn't wrth it? So now she's been hanging out with this guy but she SWEARS there just friends and I am leaning towards believeing her because she doesent really hang out with girls because she finds them too emotional and she has known him for a long time. I also seen some convos between them and they are pretty innocent. No sexual talk of any kind. Am I being totally ignorant waiting and wanting her back? She says she wants me to give her time.
derek519 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Willing to bet she's taking it slow with this guy and wants to see if it builds into anything, while having you close as a fall back option 3
Marc878 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 If you wait you will be waiting in vain. She's gone for a reason. To see what others have to offer. That's what separation is really about. You need to man up. You are at best her plan B. Do the 180 and move on with your life. There is better out there. Do you really want this in your life?????? 1
Christos Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 What Derek said is probably the truth. I am sorry friend, i am really sorry. I am going through a break up myself, and i am so, so glad i don't have kids with my ex. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you are suffering, if i think about mine... You haven't shared many details, but it seems she indeed thinks she can find better than you. If it is any comfort, this does NOT mean that you aren't good for her, or even that she deserves you in the first place. It just means her mind thinks it is the case. And you cannot do anything about it right now. Even if somehow you improve everything about you, she still won't feel attraction, because women are like that. There are many things you can try, like for example date attractive women and show off, in the hopes she will get jealous and realize she might lose her confort zone and back up plan. This will definitely raise your value in her eyes. But depending on the woman, this may even PUSH HER harder into the other man's arms. It is really difficult to predict how it will work out. In general, that is why i avoid "games" and just do what i feel. The safest bet. In my opinion, you need to let her destroy herself. No sane man will take a single mother, and certainly no man of real value comparable to yours. Even her "friend", probably only wants her for (cheap/easy) sex. Sucks that the woman in your life and mother of your kid, is becoming a willing cheap prostitute for someone else, but this is life. Women can be stupid like that. Whatever you do, just look after your son, and don't let anything happen to him. If and when she regrets what she did, you can either accept her back, or move on with your life.
Author disbelief Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 Do you guys think I should call her and Just ask her strait "are you going to want our family back?" And if she can't give me a strait answer make the for the decision for her and just say ok look it's not an option anymore, I can't live in limbo with somthing that means so much to me.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 In my opinion, respect her demand, Give her the space she asked for, without reprimand. You make it sound like we interpreted it; you're being moved to plan B, So, with that in mind, I'd be prepared to live that possibility. However, from her postings, is there something you have done? An argument perhaps in which some offended feelings originated from? Her musings manifested as Facebook posts you may dare try to translate, However, rarely can those postings include feelings that fully encapsulate. If she's the mother of your child, and you want your family back, Then go after her man, don't wait for the other guy's attack! If she's not in a relationship, living with her man, or something as such, Then by all means, show her how much she means to you, and don't give up! Just be sure to not chase what is obviously a lost cause, For instance, if she is chasing this other guy while putting you on pause, If she wants to be let go and to only have you after her 'new-dude' try, Then show her that you'll let her go, but you come second to no guy.
Author disbelief Posted September 16, 2015 Author Posted September 16, 2015 i feel like i cant live like this anymore. Im in emotional pain constantly for the past 2 months. everything's been up in the air and nothing is certain. a total roller coaster and its starting to really get to me. I need some type of closure so my mind can let go; if i know for certain its over i feel i will be able to let go easier. a dating coach tells me that asking her will come off as weak and turn her off?I feel i need to ask her because i love her and shes the mother of my son. maybe she wont give me a strait answer anyway?
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 i feel like i cant live like this anymore. Im in emotional pain constantly for the past 2 months. everything's been up in the air and nothing is certain. a total roller coaster and its starting to really get to me. I need some type of closure so my mind can let go; if i know for certain its over i feel i will be able to let go easier. a dating coach tells me that asking her will come off as weak and turn her off?I feel i need to ask her because i love her and shes the mother of my son. maybe she wont give me a strait answer anyway? You know her answer, it's right here, In case you forgot, read it again so it's extremely clear: She says she wants me in her life just not right now.
Author disbelief Posted September 16, 2015 Author Posted September 16, 2015 You know her answer, it's right here, In case you forgot, read it again so it's extremely clear: right - which is sort of saying " hey just wait and we will get back together" .... i cant deal with that, especially when shes hanging out with the new guy. feeling like i really need to do somthing? illusion of action i guess?
mightycpa Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 Let's say you were trying to bang a new girl... you're in bed, you're naked, and you begin to make your mounting move and she says I want you inside me, but not right now. and then let's say that you got the feeling she meant YEARS, rather than hours or days. Would you stick around? Of course not. Same dealio here, you just don't want to face it. It's bull****.
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