dragonfire13 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 I met up with a friend for drinks a couple of weeks ago, and a guy was there (friend of a friend). I didn't pay much attention to him that night (although I remember noticing how nice his eyes were) and I didn't stay out too long, but the day after the found me on Facebook and asked me out. We went out of for drinks a few days ago. High points: - Attractive - Easy to talk to - Doesn't play games and has made his interest clear. - Great dress sense - Gentlemanly in opening doors etc and apologised for not being able to drop me off home as he didn't want to drive after drinking. Low points: - Didn't ask me that many questions about myself, to the point where I stopped asking questions and let a few silences occur to see if he would take the initiative (he did seem pretty nervous) - (forgive me if this is shallow) A little on the short side (he's probably around 5ft6..and I'm 5ft4) - He's Spanish and I don't know if this was just me not being used to hanging out with Europeans, but he was kind of giving off effeminate vibes, almost...camp. He crossed his legs at one point in the date...Again, forgive me if this is shallow, but it set my gaydar off, especially as looking at his facebook, a lot of his friends are female. He text me after the date saying he had fun and that he hoped to see me again. I replied "Im glad yeah sure, would be good to hang out again soon". I think the ball is in my court now, but I'm unsure...
J21 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 I can't believe one of your low points is because "he's spanish". That's not something he can control. Don't string the guy along. You know if you want a second date with the guy, if you don't know then don't do it. 2
Author dragonfire13 Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 A low point wasn't that he was "Spanish"...in fact, that was actually a draw. I was merely observing potential differences in social interaction that were coming across as quirky.
Vintage79 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Oh my - he was "almost" giving out effeminant vibes (meaning he wasn't), he crossed his legs, and he's only a few inches taller than you, as opposed to a foot ...please just pass on him - he deserves someone better that will appreciate him as opposed to try to find anything and everything not perfect, while simultaneously telling the world that they're exceedingly shallow. Basically, he deserves a second date, you don't...
Bob Morton Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 He was quiet probably his mind was filled with "Omg shes so pretty what do I say to her" "Do I look nervous I gotta look relaxed and confident" "Damn nothing comes to mind shes so hot" "That silence again... I hope she wont thik im not interested in her" "Was that joke i made stupid" 1
Author dragonfire13 Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 lol at all these butthurt replies... jeez you have to word your posts SO carefully, it's almost impossible to honestly post on these boards anymore, without folks nitpicking at EVERY sentence/perceived slight. But thanks Bob Morton for not deviating from the question asked, and offering a different perspective
BlueBlood Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 As a rough guideline fashion in parts of Europe is much more streamlined when it comes to menswear and suits. The tailoring is much closer cut with emphasis on mixing color and pattern. It's very dandy and dapper compared to a lot of North American men's styles. I suppose it might come across as effiminate maybe, but it's not to me. It's highly sophisticated and elegant, with shoulders and wrists, the lines of the arms and legs all celebrated and stylishly so. Any airport in Madrid, Paris, or Rome is going to have its full of smartly dressed businessmen. It's a nice snazzy change up to baggy and grey men's tailoring trends. As for height? Who cares. Wear your high heels. There is sketching sexy about a man with a taller woman on his arm. It whispers of confidence, poise, and elan. I love it. 1
Author dragonfire13 Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 Oh my - he was "almost" giving out effeminant vibes (meaning he wasn't), he crossed his legs, and he's only a few inches taller than you, as opposed to a foot ...please just pass on him - he deserves someone better that will appreciate him as opposed to try to find anything and everything not perfect, while simultaneously telling the world that they're exceedingly shallow. Basically, he deserves a second date, you don't... Right, because trying to suss out your attraction to someone in the early stages, which im sure is largely dependent on looks/chemistry for most people, is "exceedingly shallow"...
Author dragonfire13 Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 As a rough guideline fashion in parts of Europe is much more streamlined when it comes to menswear and suits. The tailoring is much closer cut with emphasis on mixing color and pattern. It's very dandy and dapper compared to a lot of North American men's styles. I suppose it might come across as effiminate maybe, but it's not to me. It's highly sophisticated and elegant, with shoulders and wrists, the lines of the arms and legs all celebrated and stylishly so. Any airport in Madrid, Paris, or Rome is going to have its full of smartly dressed businessmen. It's a nice snazzy change up to baggy and grey men's tailoring trends. As for height? Who cares. Wear your high heels. There is sketching sexy about a man with a taller woman on his arm. It whispers of confidence, poise, and elan. I love it. Hey BlueBlood, thanks for the reply! I did think this might be the case, hence the mention of the European roots You're spot on, his style was very preppy and chic. It's good to note the differences from different parts of the world. Yeah I think you're right, it's stupid to let a potentially great guy go because of something like height... 1
J21 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 lol at all these butthurt replies... jeez you have to word your posts SO carefully, it's almost impossible to honestly post on these boards anymore, without folks nitpicking at EVERY sentence/perceived slight. I was giving my honest opinions too. Just because it's wasn't something you wanted to hear doesn't mean it wasn't honest. Were you looking for validation as opposed to honest opinions?
BlueBlood Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Hey BlueBlood, thanks for the reply! I did think this might be the case, hence the mention of the European roots You're spot on, his style was very preppy and chic. It's good to note the differences from different parts of the world. Yeah I think you're right, it's stupid to let a potentially great guy go because of something like height... No prob! Hey I hope you guys have a lot of fun dates, if you end up liking him. I think you're just witnessing the European sensibility of clothing style (not to say everyone in the EU dresses a certain way of course but the trends and overall style are different in cut than one sees in North America). It's a leaner line, and can be delish and polished. I rather like it, a man in a great suit or well cut blazer is a thing of beauty. 1
mrldii Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 OP, I thought that was the purpose of second (and third, and fourth, and etc.) dates...to see if there is or is not chemistry worth continuing to pursue a relationship. The only time I don't accept a second (or third, or fourth, or etc.) date is when they've done something so egregious, I don't wanna see them again. I did not realize the purpose of a first date was to decide if the person was worthy of exclusivity/moving in together/marrying/having children with. Go out with him again...and keep going out with him again and again and etc. 'til you don't wanna, anymore. Best of luck to you... 1
Author dragonfire13 Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 I was giving my honest opinions too. Just because it's wasn't something you wanted to hear doesn't mean it wasn't honest. Were you looking for validation as opposed to honest opinions? Not validation no, just opinions and feedback from those (and Im sure there are many) who have had that second date indecisiveness. I actually appreciated the second part of your initial post "Don't string the guy along. You know if you want a second date with the guy, if you don't know then don't do it." It was constructive and answered the question.
Author dragonfire13 Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 OP, I thought that was the purpose of second (and third, and fourth, and etc.) dates...to see if there is or is not chemistry worth continuing to pursue a relationship. The only time I don't accept a second (or third, or fourth, or etc.) date is when they've done something so egregious, I don't wanna see them again. I did not realize the purpose of a first date was to decide if the person was worthy of exclusivity/moving in together/marrying/having children with. Go out with him again...and keep going out with him again and again and etc. 'til you don't wanna, anymore. Best of luck to you... Hi mrldii thanks for your response! You're right, I think I'm over thinking things. Definitely think it will be worth going on a second date
Recommended Posts