Apparition Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 I'm finding it difficult to concentrate on simple things without thinking of my ex. She's constantly on my mind. I am avoiding anything related to romance - songs, movies, shows, objects that remind me of her. However, everything I enjoyed doing, she enjoyed it too and that's where the reminders come in. The only thing she didn't enjoy was video games and it's the ONLY thing I have that I can do to distract myself but it can only last so long. I've been watching kind of miserable movies, such as movies about break-up's/divorces and I was wondering if any of you had suggestions of movies/shows or anything at all that helped you through your break-up? Much appreciated. 2
Seth0194 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 I'm finding it difficult to concentrate on simple things without thinking of my ex. She's constantly on my mind. I am avoiding anything related to romance - songs, movies, shows, objects that remind me of her. However, everything I enjoyed doing, she enjoyed it too and that's where the reminders come in. The only thing she didn't enjoy was video games and it's the ONLY thing I have that I can do to distract myself but it can only last so long. I've been watching kind of miserable movies, such as movies about break-up's/divorces and I was wondering if any of you had suggestions of movies/shows or anything at all that helped you through your break-up? Much appreciated. You have to almost relearn how to live. The longer the relationship the harder it is. My ex and I were into everything. Cars, Video Games, Working Out, Horror Movies, TV Shows (we had a few that were different) Music. I am rediscovering somethings. I am picking up Golf again, I started a couple new series on Netflix, etc. You have to stay busy keep your down time to a minimum, get a hold of friends, go to the movies, check out Meetup dot com, they have all kinda of social events. Just stay busy, if video games work, then do that. Best of luck and know we are here for you. 2
Author Apparition Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 Thanks, Seth. I can relate to you with regards to having things in common with your ex, well, at least most of the stuff. You're also right about the longer it is the harder it is, it's definitely difficult and you feel a sense of impossibility. I need new ideas, though, and it's hard to think of them yourself when all you can think about is them and reminiscing the past and the good times. 1
Seth0194 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Thanks, Seth. I can relate to you with regards to having things in common with your ex, well, at least most of the stuff. You're also right about the longer it is the harder it is, it's definitely difficult and you feel a sense of impossibility. I need new ideas, though, and it's hard to think of them yourself when all you can think about is them and reminiscing the past and the good times. That is what hurts is letting go, I think its not so much moving on, we as creatures are made to adapt and survive, but letting go is so hard to do. Join Meetup, look around and see if you can find something. I found a group that plays board-games twice a week at different peoples house, Ive only been once, but it was nice to get out, meet some new people, I felt alive again and did not think of my ex one time during the event. 1
mightycpa Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Run distance. The "running high" brain chemicals will work to counteract the "breakup" brain chemicals, and you'll feel better. Also, don't avoid those hurtful feelings. Think of them as powerful medicine that tastes bad going down, and in order to cure yourself, you have to take the medicine. Feel them until they lose their power over you. Imagine the scene of the breakup, except do it as a third party, rather than as a participant. Desensitize yourself to things large and small, every day. You'll be through it before you know it. 3
Samuel_22 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 (edited) I don't think it is a good idea to run away from everything because, they remind you of her...how long do you wanna do that? I think you have to create new memories, so that those things are not exclusive to your ex anymore...and with all due respect, duration of a relationship is not important, the intensity of emotions are...What I did? I watched Ex Machina... it was a depressing movie, with a character called Ava...who reminded me of my ex and how dirty and selfish she was...this movie helped me a lot...though it made me cry, but showed me the real face of my ex...and that God had a point...if you play videogames, try to stick to linear, story-driven tittles...open world games are pointless at this time, because you become bored, and that adds up to frustration...my best example is max payne 1,2,3...specially those scenes that show how much pain Max has been through, to overcome the demise of his wife... I think it is always good to feel you are not the only one, not alone even if it is a video game's character...I cried with max in my second journey in his life...it helped me feel better...although 1 and 2 are very old...but I really loved them more this time Good luck Edited September 15, 2015 by Samuel_22 1
Tater Salad Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Those little reminders of her will fade with time, but when they do appear, they will have a more wistful, nostalgic feel. I am kind of there right now. As for movies that help me through break ups: Swingers has always been a go to when I am heartbroken. Forgetting Sarah Marshall helped me too this last time. They both remind me that everybody has been dumped and hurt in their lives, but you always get through it. Someday in the future, you will be grateful for the memories and the time you shared together. You will look back at them and smile.
anduina Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Instead of sad stuff, empowering songs got me through. David Guetta - Titanium 1
Seth0194 Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 Instead of sad stuff, empowering songs got me through. David Guetta - Titanium Great song, very powerful.
Draper Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 You have to almost relearn how to live. The longer the relationship the harder it is. My ex and I were into everything. Cars, Video Games, Working Out, Horror Movies, TV Shows (we had a few that were different) Music. I am rediscovering somethings. I am picking up Golf again, I started a couple new series on Netflix, etc. You have to stay busy keep your down time to a minimum, get a hold of friends, go to the movies, check out Meetup dot com, they have all kinda of social events. Just stay busy, if video games work, then do that. Best of luck and know we are here for you. Relearn how to live is a great way to put it. I have clothes that I can't even bring myself to put on because they remind me too much. There's a pair of sweatpants that she stole from me when we first started dating and wore throughout our whole relationship, I have half a mind to just put them in the trash. Clothes and stuff that she gave me I can't even look at. You just gotta find new things, activities, and leave the past in the past
Protec Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 It is hard. After my ex left me, i could not concentrate on anything. I did not watch movies, series, i didn't play games, did not listen even music. I did all those when i was alone but in RS with her. After she dumped me, everything just...i dunno. It takes time. I still have all my ex's stuff here. Her coat, books, baseball cap, her perfumes etc. I just simply don't care anymore. Well sometimes i do care, i still miss her. LAtely because of her behaviour, i don't miss her as much anymore. I still don't like touching her stuff though.
thejabberwocky Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I kept a list of the best breakup movies! Most of these are pretty girly (sorry) but they made me feel a little better. Dirty Love Legally Blonde First Wives Club The Breakup Bridget Jones' Diary Silver Lining's Playbook Forgetting Sarah Marshall 500 Days of Summer He's Just Not That Into You John Tucker Must Die Just Friends Sex and the City Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist Celeste and Jesse Forever The Other Woman 10 Things I Hate About You Heartbreakers Bridesmaids Other than that, throw out/put away anything that reminds you of your ex. I had to filter through 6 years worth of jewelry and found that everything he gave me is too painful to wear right now, so it's in the back of my safe until I figure out what to do with it. Hide anything too sentimental or valuable, toss anything else. Wash your sheets, get new bedding, maybe even redecorate your entire place. After that, make a list of Breakup Goals. What do you want to achieve in the 2 months you're going No Contact? What about the rest of the year? Do you want to get a better job, better body? Take up a new hobby now that you have extra time? I think it helps to look forward and wallow when you need to. But then get back on track
Draper Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 My ex always loved taking pictures together. I had like 700+ photos on my phone that she'd take of us. I was about to delete them all but I figured I might regret it later on. Instead, I uploaded them all to my computer. Then I put them in a folder called 'do-not-open', zipped it, and buried it in the depths of my external hard drive. Then I deleted every last one of them from my phone and put the hard drive hidden in the closet where I usually keep it. I must say it was a little bit satisfying to lock up all those memories.
Blanco Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 - Got back into weight training/nutrition; dropped more than 40 pounds in six months and am close to having the best body composition of my life after having the WORST body comp of my life earlier this year. - Joined a trivia league that we participate in once or twice a week at a couple bars. - Bought a new bed, as I left behind my old one with her and had been sleeping on a couch for five months since moving into my place. - Started reading again, after having little time while we lived together. - Started focusing again on my business after I went into autopilot the first couple months after the BU. - Bought new clothes that had no association with my ex. Still lots more I want and need to do, but the above all contributed in some way to helping me start my new life and put away the life I'd known for the past three years.
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