parishes Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 I saw the red flags in the very beginning of the relationship but I was naive because it was my first relationship - her making a comparison picture of my face and her ex new gf, asking her friends who has a hotter gf. I thought it was weird but at times, she still harbored negative feelings for her ex even though she stated SHE was the one that ended it. About a month after my ex and her ex breakup, they found someone else so fast and got into another relationship. I thought it was good to be true that we could "fall" in love so fast, and turns out it is. I'm just so fking pissed because I felt so stupid for ignoring the signs. She broke up with me via text, turn cold really fast, was very adamant about being friends after the breakup and disregarded my request for time apart to heal first before I could be friends. After all this, she was mad because I left her "completely in the dark" like her last ex did when I just didn't talk to her for a week after a breakup. I just feel so hurt, because I thought it was my first love but we moved so fast - I was wary of it. We are both 21, dated for only 8 months but she was with her ex for 1.5 year. I don't know if I should categorize her as my first love because to her, all i was someone that she could use while she got over her last relationship. Basically, what I'm asking is, do the dumpers ever feel bad for the other person in the rebound relationship? I feel so used and angry. I immediately went NC 3 weeks ago, and have no intention at all contacting her anytime soon. She kept trying to guilt me into being her friend, that "everyone leaves" her but she sees everyone as temporary and kept bragging about the new girl that she has feelings for 2 weeks after the breakup. I told her that all I wanted for her in life was to be happy, even if its not with me but you can't be happy with someone else if you're not happy yourself. All I wanted was to help her and her to be happy. Her life started turning into a total **** show and I had to leave because it wasn't healthy. I don't know how to cope with this.
PaperCrane Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Well hello to a fellow mainah there. It's a wickahd pissah huh? Okay, enough of that. How you cope is following strict 100% NC and focusing on loving yourself. What she or you did do, didn't do, could have done or should have done is irrelevant. Anyone who breaks up with someone else via text is simply not worth the mental energy in analyzing the situation.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 Well hello to a fellow mainah there. It's a wickahd pissah huh? How's it goin' bud. Beers in the coolah. PaperCrane is right. Analyzing what went wrong and your curiosity of the unknown is normal. But you'll need to accept that not every question will have a definitive answer. Does she feel regret, guilt, remorse, hopeless, happy...? Maybe? The answer(s) to this question change from person to person. But, you can find definitive answers about yourself and focus on the obstacles that you can control. 1
HeBa Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 Yes the infinite loop of questions i am there .. but i try to distract myself every time ... cuz u know what ?! it Dosent really matter .. what if ur ex have regret .. what if they don't ? how that change anything in the fact that u both not together now .. dose it change the hurt that all that cause ? No ..u my friend and actually i as well are wasting our valuable energy on some problem like chicken come first or egg come first ?! we just need to focus more on our selves first.. how we could past that and forget that boring chapter in our lives.. Best of Luck
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