Jc396 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Im 24 he is 22 I was with my boyfriend for five years before he dumped me last week. He says that he is suffering because of me being unhappy with myself.he said there is no way I can love him if I don’t love myself. He said that he is tired of putting his happiness aside to make me happy when I can’t even love myself which is all he wanted. He is unhappy about him giving me everything I want but I can’t give him the one thing he wanted which is to love myself. He is tired of being unhappy with the relationship and wants to be single and be his own person. He said he has been unhappy for a long time and is no longer confident that we could work. I begged and pleaded with him to stay and that I will make more of an effort to improve my self confidence. I have contacted him everyday with text messages and phone calls and even went by his place last week to see him. All of which upset him even more and he said he wants me to respect his decision and that he doesn’t want to speak to me. I told him I want to be friends and he said he was open to a drink sometime but not now. He said right now he doesn’t want to be friends. He also said right now he longer cares about making me happy. He said that if its meant to be then somewhere down the line we would get back together. He also said that I have been pissing him off with constantly contacting him and he doesn’t feel like I’m treating him like a friend. The other day he unfriended me on Facebook and blocked me on Instagram. I don’t know about blocking me on his phone since I refuse to call him and see. What should I do? Is it possible that he is still upset about the breakup and lashing out? Have I lost him for good? I have began no contact and I’m on day 8 Would the no contact rule work for this or is this relationship too far gone?
BlueBlood Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 1. Leave him alone. Jeez. Reading your post was hard, I can only imagine how overwhelmingly bad it would be to have that focused on your ex boyfriend in a chorus of "Take me bacccck!!!1!". 2. Don't stalk or lurk online seeking info about him. No good can come of it. 3. Take what he said to heart. You're glossing over the issues and just haranguing him to no end, seemingly, in some flailing about series of gestures. All you are doing is driving him away. 4. Start looking at your issues. 5. Address your issues with professional help. 6. Continue to leave him alone. 7. Repeat for forever. 3
d0nnivain Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 NC will work because it will give you space to heal & grow as a person. It will not get him to come back. That is not it's purpose. Chasing after him begging & crying, promising to work on yourself if he comes back actual proves the opposite of what you are intending. You have to go off & take action to boost your self esteem. Groveling shows that you are still seeking external validation & expecting him to fix you, the very thing he is running away from. This relationship is over. Get yourself a good therapist & rebuild. 3
EO422 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Find someone better!!! I do not know anyone who would put down their partner like he did. I am unsure of the whole situation, but as many people here will say it takes two..that's for breaking up as well...so it's not all your fault. Pick yourself up!!! Give him space! Distance yourself from him! Don't look at his social media! (I deleted all of my apps off my phone, so I can not even use it if I tried!)....I am feeling better than I did before. Move on with yourself! DO NOT WIAT AROUND FOR HIM...you will realize this soon..but your are fresh out of the break up so you will get over this "I want him back phase" I am slowly getting out of it !! 2
ExpatInItaly Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 NC will work because it will give you space to heal & grow as a person. It will not get him to come back. That is not it's purpose. Chasing after him begging & crying, promising to work on yourself if he comes back actual proves the opposite of what you are intending. You have to go off & take action to boost your self esteem. Groveling shows that you are still seeking external validation & expecting him to fix you, the very thing he is running away from. This relationship is over. Get yourself a good therapist & rebuild. OP, please read the above a few times. This is valuable insight and advice. Also, you have been together since you were 17 and 19. Those types of relationships generally don't last forever, as most people want to get out and experience new people, date around, live the single life for a while before settling down. You were both bound to feel the urge to do so at some point.
Qboro90 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Your ex BF is right. You need to work on yourself and your own self value before you can date anyone. Please stop contacting him, it makes you look pathetic and desperate. Once you are happy and don't mind being single, then you can look at dating again.
warshaw Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 NC will work because it will give you space to heal & grow as a person. It will not get him to come back. That is not it's purpose. Chasing after him begging & crying, promising to work on yourself if he comes back actual proves the opposite of what you are intending. You have to go off & take action to boost your self esteem. Groveling shows that you are still seeking external validation & expecting him to fix you, the very thing he is running away from. This relationship is over. Get yourself a good therapist & rebuild. I was going to type a post but it was easier just to quote the above post and say "yes this".
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