He fell in love after 1 date !

[Bob Morton]

You seem to be assuming that the guy Gaeta's talking about meant what he said- infinite power over him, not eating or sleeping. (cough) Would you want to be with a woman who was in that state, if it is true? And if it isn't true, would you want to be with a woman who comes on that strong?

I doubt its true, its just reflecting his affection. If that was true I would probably not. Id just give it time to see if it really shows.

And I dont see anything wrong about someone be so excited about someone else after years of being alone.

 

I remember falling for a guy and not being able to sleep !! You've never experience that? I have!!!

If youre not trolling me then thats what im talking about. 15 years marriage, 7 years single, couldnt find a woman that would drive him and BAM! Finally did. Happy again just like in youth. Isnt that a good thing?

 

You know you got a good point about the d*ck comment!!

I hope you all guys, after your online connection didnt work out(because you were overthinking stuff and he decided to part), dont run to your opponents profile and pour **** on them. Could leave a few good things, no?

 

...

Impulse control. Anyone ready to assign that sort of level of devotion to me, who is for all intents and purposes, a stranger, might also have impulse control issues in other areas of his life. Perhaps other women, gambling, quitting his job on a whim, drinking alcohol, who knows?

...[/Quote] Valid point. No one knows. Only Gaeta has a chance to find out whats hes all about really.

 

That's what I go by....ACTIONS. Not a bunch of sweet talk flowery language to flatter me.

 

 

In time, he verbally expressed his feelings to me....in a normal healthy way. Certainly not by telling me I have infinite power over him. LOL

Well good for you and your partner, that he went with actions first and then with words that matched your preference.

Maybe this dude goes the other way around - with words first and will show it with actions later?

 

As if everything has to go by a defined pattern with a same exact pace for everybody to make it genuine and acceptable...

 

The shady thing for me is that he didnt find those dick comments on his profile and deleted it.

Edited September 15, 2015 by Bob Morton

[katiegrl]

He said now he's in a serious mode, he's done always looking for the prettiest and sexiest. He got it out of his system. He likes me, he wants a chance to get to know me and see if we can work.

 

He said he wanted to wait 2-3 weeks to see if him and I would mesh well before deleting his profile but with what had just happened he wanted to show his good fate so he deleted today.

 

 

I almost missed this....but I would be rather insulted by that comment.

 

 

Done looking for the prettiest and sexiest, so NOW he wants to get to know you?

 

 

WTF, you're not the prettiest and sexiest to him?

 

 

Hell... I might not be the prettiest and sexiest to every man I encounter, but I sure as hell would want the man I'm about to embark on a RL with to think I am! Via his attraction to me!

 

 

And doesn't that contradict everything he said earlier -- about how he can't stop thinking about your face, hair, TEETH, skin....blah blah? Hell he's losing sleep thinking about it. (Or so he said).

 

 

He's all over the place....floundering. Typical of men who BULL SHYT their way through life (and women).

Edited September 15, 2015 by katiegrl

[Leigh 87]

Sorry that is not normal behavior. I'd be running....

 

And see my last post. Curious as to why you even believe him.... when you have said your self you don't believe anything a man says on first few dates.

 

He sounds looneytoons.

 

Yeah I second Katie, this really isn't normal behaviour

 

Men can think it, but they have enough social grace not to SAY it..because normal people know that it'd freak a normal person out....

[BlueBlood]

I almost missed this....but I would be rather insulted by that comment.

 

 

Done looking for the prettiest and sexiest, so NOW he wants to get to know you?

 

 

WTF, you're not the prettiest and sexiest to him?

 

 

Hell... I might not be the prettiest and sexiest to every man I encounter, but I sure as hell would want the man I'm about to embark on a RL with to think I am! Via his attraction to me!

 

 

And doesn't that contradict everything he said earlier -- about how he can't stop thinking about your face, hair, TEETH, skin....blah blah? Hell he's losing sleep thinking about it. (Or so he said).

 

 

He's all over the place....floundering. Typical of men who BULL SHYT their way through life (and women).

 

Yeah it was a pretty glaring comment on his part "I'm done with sexy, I'm ready for you!". Not exactly sweeping me off my feet here.. But what does he care for feet when it's TEETH that have him sleepless and tossing and turning.

[katiegrl]

Yeah it was a pretty glaring comment on his part "I'm done with sexy, I'm ready for you!". Not exactly sweeping me off my feet here.. But what does he care for feet when it's TEETH that have him sleepless and tossing and turning.

 

 

Yeah a complete 180 from what he attempted to do earlier by laying it on so thick the way he did...

 

 

Trying to do damage control and failing miserably.

[Gaeta]

 

WTF, you're not the prettiest and sexiest to him?

 

haha, katie now you are picking. You know what he meant! Even if you meet a pretty and sexy woman there will always be a prettier and a sexier (in my case a younger). I have everything he finds pretty and sexy in a woman, he is stopping his search here.

[Leigh 87]

And lol. He's done looking for the prettiest or sexiest?

 

 

You're a beautiful woman, Gaeta. You shouldn't tolerate a man who doesnt find you drop dead gorgeous ( to HIM)

 

He contradicts his " love at first site " experience... When a man is head over heels on love, that woman IS the most beautiful and prettiest image to them. Times 100. That's what falling in love feels like even though logically, you know your partner won't win any modelling contests.

[Bob Morton]

I almost missed this....but I would be rather insulted by that comment.

 

Done looking for the prettiest and sexiest, so NOW he wants to get to know you?

 

WTF, you're not the prettiest and sexiest to him?

 

 

Hell... I might not be the prettiest and sexiest to every man I encounter, but I sure as hell would want the man I'm about to embark on a RL with to think I am! Via his attraction to me!

.

:facepalm:

For real? He said he was done only caring about apperance, and now was looking more into whats inside. He didnt imply she werent sexy to him. Your twisted mind did.

[Leigh 87]

And lol. He's done looking for the prettiest or sexiest?

 

 

You're a beautiful woman, Gaeta. You shouldn't tolerate a man who doesnt find you drop dead gorgeous ( to HIM)

 

He contradicts his " love at first site " experience... When a man is head over heels on love, that woman IS the most beautiful and prettiest image to them. Times 100. That's what falling in love feels like even though logically, you know your partner won't win any modelling contests.

 

Love doesn't feel like " oh welps, the sexy pretty girls are crazy or don't want me, may as well give a woman who is less pretty and sexy a try ":lmao:

 

My boyfriend would know I aint a model but he sure thinks I am stunning ( to HIM)

[Gaeta]

 

Love doesn't feel like " oh welps, the sexy pretty girls are crazy or don't want me, may as well give a woman who is less pretty and sexy a try ":lmao:

 

 

He absolutely did not make it sound like he was looking for someone less pretty. You guys are stretching it here. He said I am everything pretty and sexy he wants in a woman and when he started talking to me he decided to stop his search. I cannot report his every words. You have to trust me when I say it did not come across at all as he's lowering his standards.

[Winterina]

That is how sociopaths get their victims hooked.

 

Not saying he is one, but test him.

 

Sociopaths usually follow your lead on emotions, and if you dislike or like something they will use that to get to you by imitating your attitudes and emotions, to present themselves as someone similar to you. Say something that is a bit outrageous and that shows that you have no remorse or empathy that a normal human should have. If he supports you on that point and does not show any signs of disapproval, you got yourself either a people pleaser without a backbone or a sociopath.

[katiegrl]

haha, katie now you are picking. You know what he meant! Even if you meet a pretty and sexy woman there will always be a prettier and a sexier (in my case a younger). I have everything he finds pretty and sexy in a woman, he is stopping his search here.

 

LOL.... I know I am picking.... sorry.

 

 

I just don't like him... don't like his game.

 

 

But of course you do what you want to do... if you want to give it a shot...go for it!

 

 

Like I said before, fingers crossed.

 

 

He could turn out to be a winner.... ya never know.

[Leigh 87]

He absolutely did not make it sound like he was looking for someone less pretty. You guys are stretching it here. He said I am everything pretty and sexy he wants in a woman and when he started talking to me he decided to stop his search. I cannot report his every words. You have to trust me when I say it did not come across at all as he's lowering his standards.

 

Ok Gaeta.

 

I trust you.

 

I am in the throws of being in love myself but it didn't happen overnight, I still believe it is infatuation for at least the first week or two.....

[GemmaUK]

He absolutely did not make it sound like he was looking for someone less pretty. You guys are stretching it here. He said I am everything pretty and sexy he wants in a woman and when he started talking to me he decided to stop his search. I cannot report his every words. You have to trust me when I say it did not come across at all as he's lowering his standards.

 

 

Oh good grief!!

Yup, people are stretching this big time!

Pretty much as bad as he is!

 

Geata, flake on him.

Move on.

Enjoy it!

[Survivor12]

I almost missed this....but I would be rather insulted by that comment.

 

 

Done looking for the prettiest and sexiest, so NOW he wants to get to know you?

 

 

WTF, you're not the prettiest and sexiest to him?

 

 

Hell... I might not be the prettiest and sexiest to every man I encounter, but I sure as hell would want the man I'm about to embark on a RL with to think I am! Via his attraction to me!

 

 

And doesn't that contradict everything he said earlier -- about how he can't stop thinking about your face, hair, TEETH, skin....blah blah? Hell he's losing sleep thinking about it. (Or so he said).

 

 

He's all over the place....floundering. Typical of men who BULL SHYT their way through life (and women).

 

THIS^^^^^^^ is exactly what I found so off-putting when OP mentioned in her first post that he'd said something similar...

 

Basically saying that he's tired of dating around & is ready to settle. (He didn't use those words, of course). The point is that he wants to reel her in as quickly as possible so he cant stop putting so much effort into dating--so he's pulling out all the stops & saying whatever he thinks she wants to hear to seal the deal.

[MoreAmore]

Yep!

 

Suggestions?

 

 

Nothing after one date is anywhere close to love.

 

I'd run, run, as fast as I can, can't catch me, looney-toons man.

[neowulf]

Here how it went.

 

He was going on and on about things he finds 'perfect' about me. He has a really bad case of infatuation. He loves my hair, my face, my teeth (lol), my voice, the tone of my skin, everything.

 

Then he said: You're so perfect in every way (silence) I fell in love with you instantly.

 

Then he pursues with it's so bad he can't eat or sleep, he feels full of energy like never before and he could battle any obstacles in front of him, then he said something about I have infinite power over him.

 

I replied: .....wow

 

What else ? lol

 

Then I said: don't put me on such a high pedestal cause I'm gonna come down from it at some point and it's gonna be hard for both of us. He replied something like 'I'll catch you'

 

Oh dear... sounds like a stage 4 clinger here...

Sure, I get it. He thinks you're amazing. But to just throw it all out there, so quickly. The man doesn't *know* you or anything about you.

 

People who move that quickly make me very nervous. If they can fall that fast in love, how fast can they fall out of it?

[Leigh 87]

Oh dear... sounds like a stage 4 clinger here...

Sure, I get it. He thinks you're amazing. But to just throw it all out there, so quickly. The man doesn't *know* you or anything about you.

 

People who move that quickly make me very nervous. If they can fall that fast in love, how fast can they fall out of it?

 

I know couples who fell in love fast. But the difference with genuine love is, they keep it under wraps because they know...well, that's it's way too soon for such talk!

[introverted1]

Go for it, Gaeta. Protect yourself and have fun. You never know.

[Cupid's Puppet]

A little description: He's 43, was married 15 some years, 2 adult children and single for 7 years. He is not new to online dating, he admits at first when he got online he got crazy and was always looking for a more-pretty-one but he's past that phase.

 

Question: Is it possible men feel it that fast but it's just not socially acceptable to say it out loud?

 

The night I met my ex-husband for the first time he told his mother he had met the woman he was gonna marry. His mother laughed at him. Of course he never told me he had fallen in love that quickly, saying this would have been frown upon, but he had.

 

Yes they can. But his definition of love may be different from your definition. For me, if someone loves me it is unconditional. They will sacrifice for me. Will he love you if you were ugly or poor or sick? If no, then he's just infatuated.

[Leigh 87]

Gaeta,

 

A few things to bare in mind regarding the " instant love " thing.

 

I feel that men genuinly can fall in love fast. My own boyfriend did for me and my friends boyfriend did for her after a mere month. What is a case for concern is, I feel it's more genuine if the guy isn't using such flowery language right away and putting you on such a pedestal.

 

Also, true love, I believe a deeper soul connection, is mutual. My BF and I feel like we feel the exact same things and we both clicked and fell for one another equally as hard. When it is one sided I isn't dint think that's magic. The real magic happens, I believe, when the chemistry and connection is mutual. It's rare. I've only had it twice in my life.....including my boyfriend. But it is more likely to be the real deal if it's mutual.

 

He is too much talk in absense of action. That's not love yet. Love is deeper than the initial infatuation. my own bf proved through his kind actions that he was falling in love. He went out if his way to see me.

 

But my BF didn't drop his plans and be smothering and over the top at first...despite his strong feelings, we actually both didn't spend the first two weekends together before we were adamant we should live our own lives rather than jump all in too fast.

 

He didn't act looneytoons or declare love after a first date. The VAST majority of men who do this ARE players. It HAPPENED TO ME last January with that Irish guy........ He even flew me over to see him recently before ny current boyfriend and it was clear that he had only told me he loved me on the first night to rope me in.

 

And what's worse, is that you aren't feeling the spark mutually. I have had numerous men feel super into me but I am a big believer in feeling the magic mutually.

[katiegrl]

Gaeta,

 

A few things to bare in mind regarding the " instant love " thing.

 

I feel that men genuinly can fall in love fast. My own boyfriend did for me and my friends boyfriend did for her after a mere month. What is a case for concern is, I feel it's more genuine if the guy isn't using such flowery language right away and putting you on such a pedestal.

 

Also, true love, I believe a deeper soul connection, is mutual. My BF and I feel like we feel the exact same things and we both clicked and fell for one another equally as hard. When it is one sided I isn't dint think that's magic. The real magic happens, I believe, when the chemistry and connection is mutual. It's rare. I've only had it twice in my life.....including my boyfriend. But it is more likely to be the real deal if it's mutual.

 

He is too much talk in absense of action. That's not love yet. Love is deeper than the initial infatuation. my own bf proved through his kind actions that he was falling in love. He went out if his way to see me.

 

But my BF didn't drop his plans and be smothering and over the top at first...despite his strong feelings, we actually both didn't spend the first two weekends together before we were adamant we should live our own lives rather than jump all in too fast.

 

He didn't act looneytoons or declare love after a first date. The VAST majority of men who do this ARE players. It HAPPENED TO ME last January with that Irish guy........ He even flew me over to see him recently before ny current boyfriend and it was clear that he had only told me he loved me on the first night to rope me in.

 

And what's worse, is that you aren't feeling the spark mutually. I have had numerous men feel super into me but I am a big believer in feeling the magic mutually.

 

 

Leigh... I have found that to be true also....when the chemistry (spark, whatever we want to call it) is real and genuine....it's always mutual. Because the "chemistry" we're feeling is actually an energy that is generating between the TWO of you....just like in science (hence the term chemistry!). And it goes beyond merely the physical. It's that "click" that both people feel that tells them this feels RIGHT. It's deeper than physical attraction.

 

I have found that men might think they feel chemistry with me, but since I am not feeling it, what they're feeling (IMO) is physical attraction, which can be intense but it's NOT chemistry. IMO.

 

If HE is feeling it, and I am not (although I may like him and think he's a good guy or even a good catch), then I know it's something else. And if he is bombarding me with all this flowery and flattering language.....that's how I know he's full of crap and well....just trying to flatter me (probably to get me into bed).

 

Since I am NOT susceptible to flattery....I never fell for it..... could always see right through it.

 

With my own boyfriend, our chemistry was mutual. That's how WE BOTH knew we were for real and not BS'ing each other.

 

That said, Gaeta is a grown woman....and has dated lots of men. If she thinks he is legit and wants to give him a shake, then why not.

 

She knows if it doesn't work out and she discovers he IS, in fact, full of crapola, as always she will pick herself up, dust herself off...and carry on.

 

Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Edited September 16, 2015 by katiegrl

[Leigh 87]

Leigh... I have found that to be true also....when the chemistry (spark, whatever we want to call it) is real and genuine....it's always mutual. Because the "chemistry" we're feeling is actually an energy that is generating between the TWO of you....just like in science (hence the term chemistry!). And it goes beyond merely the physical. It's deeper.

 

 

Mere physical attraction is different, and I have found that men might think they feel chemistry with me, but since I am not feeling it, what they're feeling (IMO) is physical attraction, which can be intense but it's NOT chemistry. IMO.

 

 

If HE is feeling it, and I am not, then I know it's something else and not genuine chemistry. And if he is bombarding me with all this flowery and flattering language.....that's how I know he's full of crap and well....just trying to flatter me (probably to get me into bed).

 

 

I never fell for it..... could always see right through it.

 

 

With my own boyfriend, our chemistry was mutual. That's how WE BOTH knew we were for real and not BS'ing each other.

 

That said, Gaeta is a grown woman....and has dated lots of men. If she thinks he is legit and wants to give him a shake, then why not.

 

 

She knows if it doesn't work out and she discovers he IS, in fact, full of crapola, as always she will pick herself up, dust herself off...and carry on.

 

 

Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

 

The thing is, even the most head over heels madly in love couple I've ever met, whole they both KNEW they felt something special from the get go, they never SAID IT at the actual time of meeting. Because normal people who are emotionally healthy manage their expectations and feelings until it's concrete and more time has elapsed.

 

My boyfriend and I just " knew" it was special and so we don't feel the need for over the top declarations. We didn't even spend the first two weekends together become we wanted to maintain our own lives. I've felt a true connection once before in my life in 28 years. And once again, there was no over the top declarations. We both just chatted and focused on getting to know one another.

 

99% of men who are over the top and declare love at first site are players or full o ****e.....

 

And again....True soul connections are always MUTUAL. unrequited love is infatuation based and doesn't have an element of " meant to be " attached to it.

 

The Irish player did it to me. Turns out, he really likes me as s person and thought I was stunning. Bit that's it. He has spent thousands flying me over opposite end of Australia and on birthday presents and wining and dining me so it is not as though these players DON'T fancy you at all.

 

Men who speak too soon regarding their feelings, I find, are either: too desperate at the idea of finding a relationship. OR, they are players or full o ****e

 

It is almost never genuine.

 

My two deep soul connections didn't declare love after a first date. My friends long term boyfriend " knew " she was special the moment they met. They fell very fast for one another but they weren't in love instantly. That's strong chemistry, NOT true love.......

 

He actually knew right away she was the women he would marry. It was just a strong gut feeling. The thing is, it is only in HINDSIGHT that he knew for sure....since he wasn't going to assume things after just one meeting. One encounter. It was later after they become best friends and lovers, boyfriend and girlfriend, that he realised " yes, I had a very special feeling right away " and he can now relate that feeling back to marriage; in a sense he DID not know.

 

They are the most in love couple I've ever met! And even he didn't declare love at first site. And trust me, they fall as hard and as fast as you can possibly.....they are madly in love it's amazing you can feel it just being around them.

[katiegrl]

The thing is, even the most head over heels madly in love couple I've ever met, whole they both KNEW they felt something special from the get go, they never SAID IT at the actual time of meeting. Because normal people who are emotionally healthy manage their expectations and feelings until it's concrete and more time has elapsed.

 

 

100% agree with you there Ms. Leigh.... absolutely.

 

They also don't want to announce their strong feelings right off the bat....for fear they may scare their partner away, and they don't want to take that chance...so they're more cautious. At least until, like you said, the relationship become more concrete.

 

Just one more reason why I don't trust men that come on like gangbusters.

 

That's just me though... I suppose everyone is different in this regard, and will behave differently and have different reactions.

 

Only speaking about my own personal feelings and experience.

Edited September 16, 2015 by katiegrl

[Leigh 87]

100% agree with you there Ms. Leigh.... absolutely.

 

They also don't want to announce their strong feelings right off the bat....for fear they may scare their partner away, and they don't want to take that chance...so they're more cautious. At least until, like you said, the relationship become more concrete.

 

Just one more reason why I don't trust men that come on like gangbusters.

 

That's just me though... I suppose everyone is different in this regard, and will behave differently and have different reactions.

 

Only speaking about my own personal feelings and experience.

 

We were both so scared of loosing one another.....

 

We had these profound feelings we had to keep to ourselves. It was frustrating but we kept to our own lives and did what we needed to do to show each other that we were whole people with lives and we weren't going to go love crazy after one date or two.

 

Surely if this bloke cared about Gaeta commensurate to his declarations, he'd be worried that he'd scare her away?

 

I think a month is very soon to fall in love. What my BF and I feel is just crazy fast and even our one month can be argued, is still way too soon.

 

There was one poster, phantom220, who claims to have fallen in love with his now wife, instantly. They later married. She felt the same.

 

He is the 1% exception to the rule. And I still don't believe in actual LOVE at first site. You can feel something is very special but not true love lol.