He fell in love after 1 date !

[Gaeta]

Gaeta please.... you like him enough to agree to date him exclusively and take your profile down.

 

 

For what, to entertain yourself? Really?

 

I was asking myself the same question last night. Why don't l take my usual escape route. I was looking at a picture of him and it suddenly dawn on me he really looks like the last man who broke my heart, already 2 years ago. I thought maybe that's why he feels familiar and unthreatening to me.

 

Giving him exclusivity means nothing. I can un-exclude myself tomorrow if l wish.

 

I've been thinking about last guy in august who stopped calling, thinking about my friend's relationship suggestion, been thinking of park guy l never called back. I've neen thinking about a lot of stuff...except current guy.

 

Actually you should all be on my case for misleading him. I think l am.

[katiegrl]

I was asking myself the same question last night. Why don't l take my usual escape route. I was looking at a picture of him and it suddenly dawn on me he really looks like the last man who broke my heart, already 2 years ago. I thought maybe that's why he feels familiar and unthreatening to me.

 

Giving him exclusivity means nothing. I can un-exclude myself tomorrow if l wish.

 

I've been thinking about last guy in august who stopped calling, thinking about my friend's relationship suggestion, been thinking of park guy l never called back. I've neen thinking about a lot of stuff...except current guy.

 

Actually you should all be on my case for misleading him. I think l am.

 

 

I actually was going to....but then I thought I've been tough enough on you already...... so thought I'd give it a rest.

 

 

In any event, because I adore you, better you misleading him (which doesn't mean I condone it) rather than him messing with you and breaking your heart.

 

 

Although my advice would be to just screw the whole thing, dump him and just continue your search. By dating him you could be missing out on meeting your Mr. Right.

 

 

Plus....he may start to grow on you....and then what? I shudder to think. lol

Edited September 16, 2015 by katiegrl

[edgygirl]

Haven't read all the posts, but from my experience, these guys are the crash and burn type or sociopaths. Of course I also had boyfriends who fell for me in the first date, but I was in my 20s, things are and were different then.

 

While it's fun to have someone so enthusiastic, I'd watch out for signals of sociopathy and lack of self awareness.

[Gaeta]

I have a friend who's from Haiti but raised from his teen in the US. We talk often and keep each other updated. I told him I met this Haitian man who is very nice and everything but OH GOD he's so freakin smitten + he told me he was in love after our first date and he actually told me he loved me after out second date! My friend started laughing and he said to not worry it's normal. My friend was quite amused at me and he said if he is that smitten it's actually a good sign.

 

Well what ever, all I want now is watch Donald Trump. That's entertainment :-)

[katiegrl]

I have a friend who's from Haiti but raised from his teen in the US. We talk often and keep each other updated. I told him I met this Haitian man who is very nice and everything but OH GOD he's so freakin smitten + he told me he was in love after our first date and he actually told me he loved me after out second date! My friend started laughing and he said to not worry it's normal. My friend was quite amused at me and he said if he is that smitten it's actually a good sign.

 

Well what ever, all I want now is watch Donald Trump. That's entertainment :-)

 

 

Oh I have no doubt he's smitten. That is not the problem. The problem is when guys become that smitten that fast....they are just as fast to become UN-smitten when reality hits....

 

 

Right not he's not living in reality - he's not seeing you realistically (not that you're not awesome) but he does NOT know you, so how could he?

 

 

He sees you as a fantasy, he's living in a fantasy right now.... you're perfect...no flaws, no foibles... PERFECT.

 

 

He even said you were perfect so there ya go.... how realistic is that? Not very....because no one is perfect.

 

 

THAT's what's so scary about these guys. They love bomb you (love that term!) to pull you in fast and get you hooked in just like the previous poster was saying (sorry can't remember her name).

 

 

Then once you're hooked in start responding and you're living in the "day to day".... THAT is when reality hits, the fantasy dies....along with their feelings and they're on to their next fantasy.

 

 

I could almost guarantee that is precisely what happened with his ex's and why they're all so "bitter" now (or so he claims).

 

 

Anyhoo.... I am SOOOOOOOO happy that you actually kept your wits about this and have NOT fallen for his charms!! :)

 

 

Sure you love the attention and the compliments, but I bet if you were to continue dating him, even THAT would get old....because frankly, what good are attention and compliments if they're coming from a guy you're NOT into, right?

 

 

That's how I feel about it anyway. Receiving attention and compliments from a guy I am not into and feel nothing for leaves me feeling..... meh. Cold.

 

 

I'd rather be home reading a book.... or watching Donald Trump! lol

Edited September 16, 2015 by katiegrl

[Zippy2000]

I've been thinking about last guy in august who stopped calling, thinking about my friend's relationship suggestion, been thinking of park guy l never called back. I've neen thinking about a lot of stuff...except current guy.

 

 

 

Hmmmmmm!? Thinking about the guy in August who stopped calling? Gosh! No Contact really works! LOL

 

So why have you started to think of him? Im curious. Is it absence makes the heart grow fonder? Is it because he`s now not int he picture your wondering about him?

[katiegrl]

Hmmmmmm!? Thinking about the guy in August who stopped calling? Gosh! No Contact really works! LOL

 

So why have you started to think of him? Im curious. Is it absence makes the heart grow fonder? Is it because he`s now not int he picture your wondering about him?

 

Zippy you are too cute! I bet your mind is going a bit crazy right now, isn't it. Thinking hmmm..... maybe I should try going no contact with these chicks...maybe that will work!

 

 

You are adorable.... I honestly cannot figure out why you have so much trouble with the ladies....and I mean that!

[Jules Dash]

I have a friend who's from Haiti but raised from his teen in the US. We talk often and keep each other updated. I told him I met this Haitian man who is very nice and everything but OH GOD he's so freakin smitten + he told me he was in love after our first date and he actually told me he loved me after out second date! My friend started laughing and he said to not worry it's normal. My friend was quite amused at me and he said if he is that smitten it's actually a good sign.

 

Well what ever, all I want now is watch Donald Trump. That's entertainment :-)

 

You live in Canada and following Trump?

[katiegrl]

You live in Canada and following Trump?

 

I think he's on right now!!

 

 

Republican debate.

[Gaeta]

You live in Canada and following Trump?

 

Of course ! Lots of Canadians follow American politics.

[Gaeta]

Hmmmmmm!? Thinking about the guy in August who stopped calling? Gosh! No Contact really works! LOL

 

So why have you started to think of him? Im curious. Is it absence makes the heart grow fonder? Is it because he`s now not int he picture your wondering about him?

 

Haha August guy didn't have to go no-contact to get my attention. He got all of my attention. He probably chose to give his attention to someone else.

[Leigh 87]

Gaeta, I have dealt directly with a man who fell for women way too fast. He ended up going spastic on me when I ended it. Despite never really being that into him to begin with and telling him so.

 

Since Gaeta doesn't really care what happens with this current guy, we may as well speak our mind and give her something to read haha. I've spoken to Katie about her bf a little, and it seems the men who fall fast,and legitimately fall in love early on, have a few key traits. I'll start with men who fall fast.

 

Men who get enamoured at the drop of a hat VERSUS men who are the real deal lol

lol

 

Men I've met who get enamoured easily :

 

- After me, they had fallen hard for someone a month or two later.. And then when that fizzled, he'd fallen s month later for the love of his life Who he still claims is the love of his life ( he admits he wasn't in love with me or the next girl and it took meeting his soulmate to recognise that he just fell too hard for women he wasn't actually in love with)

-These men fall out of love fast and often realse they weren't truly in love to begin with.

-he men who fall fast are either sociopathic, narcissist or something sinister , or they are men who get genuinely have a huge range and depth of emotions.

 

Men whe fall fast can be legit.... Eventually. Itit likely won't be with YOU. It often takes them meeting the right girl who they DO genuinely fall for, for them to finally see thst they simply fall too easily for women they didn't truly have a deep connection with.

Edited September 17, 2015 by Leigh 87

[neowulf]

I am pretty detached from this current man. I am not smitten, no butterflies, I know his behavior is uncommon, out of norms, marginal, but I see nothing dangerous or abusive.

 

You guys worry as if I was falling in love here. You should worry about Toodaloo ;-) who's love sick after 4 days, not me.

 

I'm simply entertaining myself.

 

Oh I'm no worried about you!

 

*gets popcorn*

 

 

Toodaloo on the other hand...

[Leigh 87]

Best case scenario: he realizes that Gaeta is the women who's proved to him that he didn't actually fall in love with the 30 other women LOL and that she's the real deal.

 

Men who are legit don't throw their feelings about for fear or scaring you off. They know love is strong and rare to share a deep soul like connection so once they say they love you, they generally take a while to start saying it often.

 

True soul connections don't happen often. For me? It's happened twice in TEN YEARS.

 

And it is ALWAYS mutual. That's what makes them so special.

 

I am a big believer in not settling simply because a man is enamoured. I've had a man two months back who thought it was love at first meet up. I didn't feel it back though and I didn't feel it back two weeks later. I wasn't falling in love despite his insistence that he was. He was hot and all the ladies wanted him too. If it were real, I would have felt a mutual connection. I didn't. I just thought he was hot and cool to spend time with!

 

True connections are MUTUAL. They never start out with ONE side being smitten while the other is simply meh, he'll do because he's a catch and i am single for years at a time so can't afford to wait to be hit in the heart with an arrow.

[Leigh 87]

Oh I'm no worried about you!

 

*gets popcorn*

 

 

Toodaloo on the other hand...

 

I am the one people should worry about lol.

 

We became face book official two nights ago LOL.

[Gaeta]

I am the one people should worry about lol.

 

We became face book official two nights ago LOL.

 

hahaha.....too funny

[katiegrl]

 

 

True connections are MUTUAL. They never start out with ONE side being smitten while the other is simply meh, he'll do because he's a catch and i am single for years at a time so can't afford to wait to be hit in the heart with an arrow.

 

 

Hence why it is called a "connection." To join two (or more) things together or to join with or become joined to something else.

 

 

I suppose one person can still feel smitten though without there being a connection.

 

 

It doesn't sound like Gaeta and this guy have much of a connection, but he still may be smitten.... not love IMO, because love takes time to develop and he doesn't know her. He may "think" it's love though.

 

 

He sounds infatuated, or was, I dunno Gaeta isn't saying much about it now, not that I blame her.

 

 

But is there another date planned? Texting, calling?

 

 

Gaeta you sound meh about it.....

[katiegrl]

I am the one people should worry about lol.

 

We became face book official two nights ago LOL.

 

 

Leigh you are too cute girl! :bunny:

 

 

FB official? Sounds serious!

[Jules Dash]

Of course ! Lots of Canadians follow American politics.

 

Really? That is interesting. I didn't realize that.

[Gaeta]

 

He sounds infatuated, or was, I dunno Gaeta isn't saying much about it now, not that I blame her.

 

 

But is there another date planned? Texting, calling?

 

 

Gaeta you sound meh about it.....

 

I was reading some of his texts to my daughter and she begged me to stop lol. He's a hopeless romantic and I don't want to bore people on here with everything he tells me, sometimes it sounds like something out of an 18 century romance book.

 

He text me every morning when he comes out of his work and he calls me every night. He wanted to see me again tonight but I told him I had too many things to do. He told me he wishes he could see me each day...that ain't gonna happen.

 

Ya I am meh about it but I am almost certain if he would give me some space I would grow some interest.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh you are too cute girl! :bunny:

 

 

FB official? Sounds serious!

 

He's not into Facebook. He doesn't post much and when he does its never a status..an rather, a utube clip or funny pic he's shared.

 

He said something that I thought sounded like " Facebook official" so i said yeah sure, why not.

 

Turns out I misheard him LOL.

 

But then he said " well it would be really nice to make it official on facebook and to officially start things "

 

So he is so not into Facebook that he wouldn't have thought to have asked if I hadn't accidentally mentioned it!

 

He took it as an excuse to make it official with me. He seemed very happy and pleased about it all. He commented that " this is a happy/ nice occasion"

[Leigh 87]

I was reading some of his texts to my daughter and she begged me to stop lol. He's a hopeless romantic and I don't want to bore people on here with everything he tells me, sometimes it sounds like something out of an 18 century romance book.

 

He text me every morning when he comes out of his work and he calls me every night. He wanted to see me again tonight but I told him I had too many things to do. He told me he wishes he could see me each day...that ain't gonna happen.

 

Ya I am meh about it but I am almost certain if he would give me some space I would grow some interest.

 

I'd be so annoyed if I wasn't smitten!

 

I have had this happen to me. I ended it fast because I got sick of guys I was not mutually smitten with, declaring their undying love for me on a daily basis.

 

I remember thinking " we don't HAVE a connection, you just think I am hot and a little different ( I have quirky personality) , this IS NOT anything special dear "

 

I couldn't stomach it personally.but that's me. Even men I AM smitten with, I prefer them to not be natural hopeless romantics!

[Gaeta]

I've felt some pretty intense connection and I SWEAR they felt it as bad as me and turns out they didn't.

 

When we are smitten I don't think we can identify that the other person is not as smitten as us. There is something preventing us from seeing it.

[katiegrl]

I was reading some of his texts to my daughter and she begged me to stop lol. He's a hopeless romantic and I don't want to bore people on here with everything he tells me, sometimes it sounds like something out of an 18 century romance book.

 

He text me every morning when he comes out of his work and he calls me every night. He wanted to see me again tonight but I told him I had too many things to do. He told me he wishes he could see me each day...that ain't gonna happen.

 

Ya I am meh about it but I am almost certain if he would give me some space I would grow some interest.

 

 

LOL.... I don't think it would be boring to hear....but probably not cool to divulge personal texts on a public forum. But I AM damn curious though.

 

 

You know I hear about the Haitian thing.

 

 

Not too long ago I called Uber and the guy driving was Haitian (at least I think he was)....and he would NOT stop going on and on about how beautiful I was.... OMG, I was just so gorgeous, this and that..... he kept turning around to stare at me, seemingly in awe....and trust me I am NOT one to brag about these things, but he just would not stop!! LOL

 

 

So perhaps you are on to something there about Haitian men!

 

 

Out of curiosity though, I did a google search and found several descriptions of them also being incredibly possessive and controlling.... but who knows.

 

 

By the way, have you asked him to slow down a bit....that he's coming on a tad (lol @ tad) too strong?

 

 

Remember, I had to ask my bf to slow down in the beginning. If he had his druthers, we would have seen each other every night....but it was too much for me, so asked him to slow down (I posted about this).

 

 

Which he respected and did..... which I was very thankful for, otherwise we may not be here today.... cause I would have becpe totally suffocated and we probly would have experienced early burn out as well.

 

 

Just a thought.

 

 

p.s. Purge those thoughts about August guy! Which one was he BTW? The lawyer or the hunky guy (you had a name for him but can't remember)...but you slept with him first night he came over, you tantalized him with your low cut dress...lol). Him?

[Leigh 87]

I've felt some pretty intense connection and I SWEAR they felt it as bad as me and turns out they didn't.

 

When we are smitten I don't think we can identify that the other person is not as smitten as us. There is something preventing us from seeing it.

 

I don't get smitten anymore unless there are very strong sign the feeling is mutual.I got conned earlier this year. I then knew true connections should have very sharp signs that they are feeling what you're feeling.

 

In hindsight, I can totally feel the difference between my one sided intense connection with the Irish dirt bag, versus my current one.

 

Can your current guy identify that YOU don't feel much of a romantic connection?

 

My last guy I briefly dated couldn't...... He SWORE I was just as head over heels about him as he was me:lmao:

 

Careful Gaeta, next comes the presents and you will start to feel guilty and sheepish. I sure did when Mr smitten got me s custom made 400 AUD teddy on the third date.

Edited September 17, 2015 by Leigh 87