ZA Dater Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Enjoy that very special feeling! Be who you are, be positive, enjoy every moment! Not really suggestions but I think you get what I mean!
Author Gaeta Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 Enjoy that very special feeling! Be who you are, be positive, enjoy every moment! Not really suggestions but I think you get what I mean! It's not my feeling, it's his lol I'm not in love. 1
Yookie Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Run Forresr Ruuuunnn! Kidding... tread very carefully. 2
central Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Be very, very careful. Guys who proclaim this almost never know the difference between infatuation and love, or lust and love. They may be too inexperienced to know, or may have an addictive personality. They may also use this as a mechanism to control the object of their affections, to try to prevent them from looking further. Often - but of course not always - these types can be a big problem. IMO, some may turn out to be abusive. Be very, very careful! 7
Author Gaeta Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 A little description: He's 43, was married 15 some years, 2 adult children and single for 7 years. He is not new to online dating, he admits at first when he got online he got crazy and was always looking for a more-pretty-one but he's past that phase. Question: Is it possible men feel it that fast but it's just not socially acceptable to say it out loud? The night I met my ex-husband for the first time he told his mother he had met the woman he was gonna marry. His mother laughed at him. Of course he never told me he had fallen in love that quickly, saying this would have been frown upon, but he had.
Survivor12 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 A little description: He's 43, was married 15 some years, 2 adult children and single for 7 years. He is not new to online dating, he admits at first when he got online he got crazy and was always looking for a more-pretty-one but he's past that phase. Question: Is it possible men feel it that fast but it's just not socially acceptable to say it out loud? The night I met my ex-husband for the first time he told his mother he had met the woman he was gonna marry. His mother laughed at him. Of course he never told me he had fallen in love that quickly, saying this would have been frown upon, but he had. This guy has "Desperation" written on every one of those red flags flying around him. 2
Redhead14 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Yep! Suggestions? Be careful of possible blowtorch . . . if you like him enough, go out and enjoy. Observe him carefully. Make sure you pace the dates out so that you two aren't spending too much time too such. Guys like this sometimes want to see a woman a few times a week early in the dating scenario. Once a week for the first few dates. It happens, but not often enough to hang a hat on it. Good luck. I've only had one guy tell me he loved me after the first date. In my head I said "OK, show me then". After 5 dates and no sex, he lost interest as fast as he fell in love 7
Jj66 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 It's possible to be smitten after one date but jeez that's not love. Even if it happened to me I would never tell her. A woman I recently started seeing pretty much did the same on our second day together. She didn't use the the L word but it was still pretty frightening to me since I take things slow nowadays and am very afraid of giving my heart to someone. 2
Author Gaeta Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 He's feeling the sparks, are you? Not feeling sparks the way I felt sparks before BUT I like him. He's very endearing and I have no desire to go on the dating site again. I also don't feel like running away like I usually do when a man comes on too strong too fast.
Art_Critic Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Just tippy toe on this one, he is telling you what he thinks you want to hear.. and it seems he is on track.. Make sure before you commit too far that he doesn't use you and then discard you. Nothing wrong with going all in but it seems more fake to me since he used to do what I think he is doing to you... and slow him down if you need it... 3
Yummm Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Well if after one date your gut isn't telling you to run as it usually would, you want to keep dating him and not go back on the dating site is a good sign... Needless to say tread with caution but if he's feeling the sparks that quick and you're not running then just see where it goes! He probably knows it's infatuation too, you said he's been single for a while so he could be overwhelmed by the fact that he feels those sparks again for someone after so long - don't write him off yet! 1
Redhead14 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Not feeling sparks the way I felt sparks before BUT I like him. He's very endearing and I have no desire to go on the dating site again. I also don't feel like running away like I usually do when a man comes on too strong too fast. You don't have to run away from these types (unless you were completely creeped out Just sit back and observe. Keep dating others and see how he dates you that's all. Don't have sex for a while and when you do, if it's the 3rd date or the 10th date, assume it will be a one-night stand until he shows you who he is and what his interest is after that. Some guys are pretty patient and do a good job of dating a woman. They will woo you all the way up to X date, get sex and still move on. And, 9 times out of 10, they don't disappear because the sex was bad or decided they didn't like you enough. They liked you, but not that much, and they just wanted sex from the get go, got it and were ready to try the next one. 1
BlueBlood Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Hm. One date. What was your response when he dropped the I love you at your feet? I'm sort of thinking I'd be at a loss for words... 1
Jj66 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 I proposed to someone on the first date once. It's was obviously a mock proposal though.
neowulf Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Yep! Suggestions? So.. What exact phrasing did he use? He's not using it in the "I love ice cream" kind of way is he? Some people are very free and easy with the L word
kendahke Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 He told you he was in love with you? He may have been actually saying "I love how I feel about myself when I'm around you", except that gets cut back to "I love you". Best way to find out is to ask them a day or two later and find out if they were serious or if they were just thinking out loud.
kendahke Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Not feeling sparks the way I felt sparks before BUT I like him. He's very endearing and I have no desire to go on the dating site again. I also don't feel like running away like I usually do when a man comes on too strong too fast. I'm not going to spit on it... I'll just say keep the channels of communication open at all times. Explore staying put for a minute--if things begin seeming out of whack, then put on the trainers and get going.
katiegrl Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Gaeta, isn't this pretty much par for the course? Men immediately going gaga for you, you're "the one" blah, blah, then disappearing? Then popping back in later, only to start the whole process over again? It has been said here many many times when a man falls that hard that fast, and tells you! That 9 x out of 10, he will disappear just as fast....because right now he is living in a fantasy, not reality. Not saying you are not beautiful and awesome, you are! But be careful here. You have said many times yourself you never believe what a man "says" on the first few dates, and you have advised the same. What changed? My advice would be to keep dating, but don't get caught up in flowerly language. At this early stage it's all talk. Let him demonstrate how he feels through his actions. And no seeing him every night or even every other night. Slow him down!! If you don't, you risk experiencing early burn out... That is what I had to do with my bf who also came on extremely fast and strong....and here we are still five years later ...discussing marriage! Good luck!!!! :bunny: 3
Author Gaeta Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 So.. What exact phrasing did he use? He's not using it in the "I love ice cream" kind of way is he? Some people are very free and easy with the L word Here how it went. He was going on and on about things he finds 'perfect' about me. He has a really bad case of infatuation. He loves my hair, my face, my teeth (lol), my voice, the tone of my skin, everything. Then he said: You're so perfect in every way (silence) I fell in love with you instantly. Then he pursues with it's so bad he can't eat or sleep, he feels full of energy like never before and he could battle any obstacles in front of him, then he said something about I have infinite power over him. I replied: .....wow What else ? lol Then I said: don't put me on such a high pedestal cause I'm gonna come down from it at some point and it's gonna be hard for both of us. He replied something like 'I'll catch you'
MrMeh Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Infinite power over him? Seems like a fun adventure. Maybe "normal" wasn't the right fit.
katiegrl Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Here how it went. He was going on and on about things he finds 'perfect' about me. He has a really bad case of infatuation. He loves my hair, my face, my teeth (lol), my voice, the tone of my skin, everything. Then he said: You're so perfect in every way (silence) I fell in love with you instantly. Then he pursues with it's so bad he can't eat or sleep, he feels full of energy like never before and he could battle any obstacles in front of him, then he said something about I have infinite power over him. I replied: .....wow What else ? lol Then I said: don't put me on such a high pedestal cause I'm gonna come down from it at some point and it's gonna be hard for both of us. He replied something like 'I'll catch you' Sorry that is not normal behavior. I'd be running.... And see my last post. Curious as to why you even believe him.... when you have said your self you don't believe anything a man says on first few dates. He sounds looneytoons. 3
CarrieT Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 My now-husband said he felt it on the first date. It took me several weeks to get there - and I admitted (the threads are still here), that I was unsure from the get go. If you like him - and he doesn't smother you - I say give him a chance; you never know what it can grow into. 3
Art_Critic Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 He is just telling you what he thinks you want to hear.. This is just his game.... that of course doesn't mean he isn't a good catch.. he just has a style that is a bit based on wooing. What do you think of his words ?
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