WisconsinWonder Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Ive been dating a guy for 3 months. its going very very well. We would see each other 3 - 4 times a week. he would call me every day and wed text constantly when not together, usually initiated by him The past few days he's been very distant. I asked him why he was being so cold and he just said he was tired/ work busy he's just stopped replying to my messages this evening. ive just let him alone Question is what do I do now. I met him through mutual friends and I just can't believe he'd cut me off like this. Is he just not interested any more. It has just changed since Friday
Zippy2000 Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 I really deteste when people use the old chestnut phrase "too tired", or " busy" excuse. I truly hope he's not too tired or busy. Maybe things are slowing down. Gibe him time to retreat in his man cave for a while and he will return. Let him come to you. 2
Ami1uwant Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 3-4 times a week for 3 months us a good amount of time. Have you guys have more disagreements/arguments? Has there been any changes in how you date like you stopped doing different things? Have you decreased in having sex? Has he talked about problems with work or entering a busy time? This time of year could be really busy with an end of the federal fiscal year coming up. 1
Author WisconsinWonder Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 No nothing more than usual with work, no other arguments either. we had a great time together sex wise its fantastic. I know in the past he was a commitment phobe but I thought things were going well
katiegrl Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Ive been dating a guy for 3 months. its going very very well. We would see each other 3 - 4 times a week. he would call me every day and wed text constantly when not together, usually initiated by him The past few days he's been very distant. I asked him why he was being so cold and he just said he was tired/ work busy he's just stopped replying to my messages this evening. ive just let him alone Question is what do I do now. I met him through mutual friends and I just can't believe he'd cut me off like this. Is he just not interested any more. It has just changed since Friday Like clockwork....after three months, yet another guy pulls the fade. What's up with this three months' fading act? Is there some book out there that advises guys to start fading after three months? It's happens too often to be mere coincidence. WW, just follow his lead. He pulls back, you pull back. God I'm glad I'm not single.... sheesh!! 5
Ami1uwant Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Like clockwork....after three months, yet another guy pulls the fade. What's up with this three months' fading act? Is there some book out there that advises guys to start fading after three months? It's happens too often to be mere coincidence. WW, just follow his lead. He pulls back, you pull back. God I'm glad I'm not single.... sheesh!! Why do you think 3 month then a fade? I think something changes that causes the fade...like she wanting yo jump from something fun to something real serious. Sure there could be someone rose he just met. He also could be changing because football season started...
abby2 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Do you know if he's also dating other girls while dating you?
scooby-philly Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Like clockwork....after three months, yet another guy pulls the fade. What's up with this three months' fading act? Is there some book out there that advises guys to start fading after three months? It's happens too often to be mere coincidence. WW, just follow his lead. He pulls back, you pull back. God I'm glad I'm not single.... sheesh!! I constantly advise people on here - if you're going to make grand pronouncements - back them up with research, mark off personal experiences with "quotation marks" or phrases that make it clear you're speaking from your perspective, not a guaranteed fact. However, I do agree with your point though...lol. I have seen it in friends, with family members, with other folks I know, and in my own relationships, and honestly - it comes from women too - so don't get sexist here. I think 3 months is the point where, depending on the # of dates and the speed of things, people really start to understand who it is they're dating and/or more of their personality comes out so there's more to judge and more to assess. The "shine wears off" so to speak. Relationships will always be work, but at 3 months, that's the stage for most post 22 year-old people to start asking if this can be long term, whether they do it consciously or not. to the OP, Give him time....but also give him opportunities - let him speak without judging, offer to do something he really wants to do. Even if he was a commitment averse person in the past, give him a reason to not sit and brood or over-think. If you really like him, and things progress hopefully he will do the same for you if you get to a point in life where you feel like retreating for a while. 1
katiegrl Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Why do you think 3 month then a fade? I think something changes that causes the fade...like she wanting yo jump from something fun to something real serious. Sure there could be someone rose he just met. He also could be changing because football season started... Only because there are like 100 threads created by women confused because the guy she's been dating fades at exactly three months! No doubt something has changed, I am just baffled by the timing of it happening in soooooooo many cases -- at exactly three months!
Gaeta Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Ive been dating a guy for 3 months. its going very very well. We would see each other 3 - 4 times a week. he would call me every day and wed text constantly when not together, usually initiated by him The past few days he's been very distant. I asked him why he was being so cold and he just said he was tired/ work busy he's just stopped replying to my messages this evening. ive just let him alone Question is what do I do now. I met him through mutual friends and I just can't believe he'd cut me off like this. Is he just not interested any more. It has just changed since Friday You've reached the 3 month mark. It's the end of the trial period. It's like when you start a new job and you're on probation the first 3 months. He's asking himself some serious questions like does he like you enough to take this to the next level, etc. Let him figure it out on his own. There is nothing you can say or do. Just continue being yourself.
Author WisconsinWonder Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 So I'll just leave him completely? At the very start of us dating he messed me around a bit and I gave him another shot. I think I have come across too needy the past couple if days especially with the questions over the lack of contact. So I'll leave him be and see what happens.In previous experience 9/10 times this won't end well. He's left some stuff in my apartment so I suppose I'll have to see him at some point
Author WisconsinWonder Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 Do you know if he's also dating other girls while dating you? no he wasn't
Gaeta Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 So I'll just leave him completely? You leave him alone and let him get back to you. I think you will find a consensus here that when a man pulls away, you let him. He may bounce back but if you chase him down that will 100% push him away. 1
BluEyeL Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Only because there are like 100 threads created by women confused because the guy she's been dating fades at exactly three months! No doubt something has changed, I am just baffled by the timing of it happening in soooooooo many cases -- at exactly three months! At three months is generally when you become boyfriend/girlfriend and that's more commitment than casual dating. Expectations will follow. So they bail. Some are addicts of the newness and never really date beyond that . Then, there is the one year mark when your now girlfriend can really become a potential life partner. Some bail there. The next hurdle is the 2 years when the infatuation tends to end and that's when others bail. But yes, most bail at the boyfriend/girlfriend stage
Redhead14 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Ive been dating a guy for 3 months. its going very very well. We would see each other 3 - 4 times a week. he would call me every day and wed text constantly when not together, usually initiated by him The past few days he's been very distant. I asked him why he was being so cold and he just said he was tired/ work busy he's just stopped replying to my messages this evening. ive just let him alone Question is what do I do now. I met him through mutual friends and I just can't believe he'd cut me off like this. Is he just not interested any more. It has just changed since Friday I agree with others, let him come to you. It's not unusual to go through a period of uncertainty and take a little time to evaluate whether there is enough there to advance things in a dating scenario. If he's on the fence and weighing things, let him do what he needs to do. Do not text or call him. If he calls you again, don't question him, don't tell him you are upset. Just act as though, and you should be, you have been busy with your own life during this time. If he starts dating you again and stepping things up some, great. And, if in fact he's just had some stress and really busy, let him have a break. If it lasts more than a week, I'd just forget about him. More than a week and coming back without a really good reason, is just being a jerk.
Author WisconsinWonder Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 So after leaving him alone he texts me saying hes ending it and would ring me later. I said I wanted to meet him in person We met and he was horrendously cold. I asked him what changed why the switch he said nothing it was too much. I was very upset and he ended up saying he "bumped into" an ex but didn't talk to her though she rang him. This was the night he started going a bit quiet. He said not to tell our mutual friends, this girl messed him around for 1.5 years and gave him chlamydia. The following day he called and the story slightly changed, said he did talk to her asnd still had feelings. I didn't catch him out. Personally my opinion and my friends is that he was with her for the remainder of the weekend and hense the lack of communication. His only response for calling and texting all the time was he enjoyed talking to me. Needless to say I've been extremely hurt how he has treated me. I feel I deserve better. when this girl drops him again I know he'll come crawling back but I've blocked him from everything. I will walk away so upset but with dignity
travelbug1996 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 He deserves her and more chlamydia. Good riddens! 1
Author WisconsinWonder Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 I just wish I wasn't so upset about it. I really liked him and hes just treat me terribly. He said noone ever treated him so well and he does this Also said she dumped him by email before numerous times. I told him I will never speak ill of him, its not in my nature and I enjoyed our time together and left it
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