adiamond Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 My ex. of almost 1 year broke up with me ONLY 3 weeks ago just updated his profile picture and I recognize that he was AT THE PLACE WHERE HE TOOK ME ON OUR FIRST DATE last year. Basically, he is dating someone else and took them there. I'm pretty sure that restaurant is his "go-to" when it comes to dates. He's looking at the camera smiling with his glasses off (he thinks he looks more handsome without his glasses on) When just LAST WEEK he was saying how he wavering about his decision about the breakup (and he was like, he might change his mind on the breakup) and was sprouting all this crap about how amazing I was, how much he loved me, and how difficult ending things with me is because we are both possibly moving and how uncertain our future is with me possibly moving for med. school and him for new jobs not because he loved me any less. WTF I MEANT NOTHING TO HIM. I've never felt so bad before because I really gave everything to this relationship in terms of vulnerability, my body, and being the best girlfriend as I could. I had some lingering hope that he might change his mind but this profile picture change just hurts. He has always been a little selfish and this feels so bad.
thejabberwocky Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Why are you torturing yourself? Block him on social media. There's a possibility he did this on purpose because he knew you'd recognize it. Don't give him any chance to make you feel bad. Block him and do no contact! 1
BlueBlood Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 First off congrats on med school! Total accomplishment and one to be proud of. Here's to you and the hard work you've put in! Secondly, he sounds pretty cruel and you'd be doing yourself a service to block any and all contact with him. Block social media, ways to contact you, delete old emails and texts and delete his bloody number. I don't know if he's trying to make you jealous or is just being a toad, but don't allow him access to torment you. Healing can't start until you're away from the source of pain. One day as a doctor, you'll perhaps do surgery on a patient. I highly doubt you'd leave a scalpel inside your patient, sew them up, and expect them to do well. No contact is removing the emotional scalpels. It's protection for the wounded heart. Hang in there, and know that there is always someone here to listen. ~B
Author adiamond Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 Thanks guys you are the most supportive people ever. It has been a roller coaster ride for sure.
Liono84 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 You really got to get over it and face reality already. It's one thing when an ex dumps you because they thought there were compatibility issues, distance problems, a lack of commitment etc. But when your partner break up with and is dating somebody else less than a MONTH post-breakup, than that's a clear slap in the face. Have some self-dignity and get over it. You deserve much better. F him! In a weird way, I wish I was in your shoes. If my ex did that to me, as painful and gut-wrenching as it may be, I know for a fact, it would help me move on because it's something that is unforgivable in my eyes. At that point, you have no more 'what if's. The worst is when they still claim they love you, but life's events such as distance or work/career conflicts come in the way. Those are ones you always second guess. No matter what though, there really is no excuse. If someone truly loves you, it would never cross their minds to break up with you, period, no matter what. Like they say, 'the one that got away' was NEVER 'the one.'
drseuss Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 my ex dumped me 7 weeks ago , after 3 weeks i went on a date with a girl to a place me and my ex loved and just my luck a saw a good friend of my ex and she obviously would have told my ex , it distroyed me and made me feel so much worse , i only went on the date because everyone was saying things like " get back out there " and " meet someone else , it will take your mind off her " well in fact it made me feel 10 times worse , at the time i just wanted anything to make me feel better , i was so down about it i was willing to try anything , i still love my ex and while i was out for a drink with that girl i loved my ex . now i feel like that will have hugly damaged any chance of reconsiliation i may have had however slim ... things arnt always as they seem
Liono84 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 my ex dumped me 7 weeks ago , after 3 weeks i went on a date with a girl to a place me and my ex loved and just my luck a saw a good friend of my ex and she obviously would have told my ex , it distroyed me and made me feel so much worse , i only went on the date because everyone was saying things like " get back out there " and " meet someone else , it will take your mind off her " well in fact it made me feel 10 times worse , at the time i just wanted anything to make me feel better , i was so down about it i was willing to try anything , i still love my ex and while i was out for a drink with that girl i loved my ex . now i feel like that will have hugly damaged any chance of reconsiliation i may have had however slim ... things arnt always as they seem DrSeuss; You're being way too hard on yourself. If you were to ask anyone from the outside they'd tell you the same thing. Your Ex broke up with you, not the other way around. So there's nothing wrong with that you did. While I don't think you should be going on dates unless you're fully healed, I also don't think that would in any way shape or form stop you ex from reconciling with you. If she loved you, she wouldn't have broken up with you. If she still has any feelings left, she will find a way, no matter what to reach out. If anything, the fact that she will receive news through the grapevine that you went out on a date, is a good thing. Girls can be cruel, man. It's reaching out after they've dumped you, remaining friends, feeling sorry for yourself, not going out that will make them feel good about their decision. But if you go NC and move on with life, eventually it just may occur to them that they F'd up on their decision. It's a sting to their ego, their decision.
Author adiamond Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 my ex dumped me 7 weeks ago , after 3 weeks i went on a date with a girl to a place me and my ex loved and just my luck a saw a good friend of my ex and she obviously would have told my ex , it distroyed me and made me feel so much worse , i only went on the date because everyone was saying things like " get back out there " and " meet someone else , it will take your mind off her " well in fact it made me feel 10 times worse , at the time i just wanted anything to make me feel better , i was so down about it i was willing to try anything , i still love my ex and while i was out for a drink with that girl i loved my ex . now i feel like that will have hugly damaged any chance of reconsiliation i may have had however slim ... things arnt always as they seem I mean, he posted the picture on his messaging app and he knew I was going to see it. So he knew exactly what he was doing. However, don't feel bad going on dates with other people. She has no right to hold you down dating because she broke up with you. You have the freedom to do what you'd like. Honestly, if she wanted you back, even if you were dating someone else, she would still try and ask if she thought the relationship was worth it..
aloneinaz Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 I mean, he posted the picture on his messaging app and he knew I was going to see it. So he knew exactly what he was doing. However, don't feel bad going on dates with other people. She has no right to hold you down dating because she broke up with you. You have the freedom to do what you'd like. Honestly, if she wanted you back, even if you were dating someone else, she would still try and ask if she thought the relationship was worth it.. Agree with adiamond. She ended it. You owe her nothing to include NOT avoiding restaurants you enjoy. You're doing the right thing by getting out of the house, dating and moving on w/your life. Why pine or hope for a reconciliation with someone who already kicked you out of their life? OP, you need to block your ex on everything social media related. You should not care what he does or who he's doing it with. Focus on you, your future and you'll eventually find someone who won't kick you out of their life.
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