thejabberwocky Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Day 27 of NC over here. I'm aiming for 60 but in reality, I hope I don't want to talk to him after that. I dumped him because I found out he's hiding a drug problem. We were together for 6 years and my mom is also an addict, so this is a huge betrayal. I'm really devastated and just cannot believe he could do this to me (or himself!). I blocked his number the day I broke it off, as well as blocked him on social media, and took his key so he can't even get into my building. I haven't spoken to him or seen him since. However, I keep fighting the urge to unblock his number. I wouldn't respond but it would be somewhat comforting to know that he is suffering without me - ridiculous right? I think I'd feel better knowing that he understands the weight of his decisions and deeply regrets how he treated me/us. It wouldn't fix anything (because I can't be with a drug user and I would never trust him again) but it'd be nice to know that he's miserable. Does that make me a bad person? Should I just leave the number blocked or is there nothing wrong with unblocking and not responding (just to see if he's trying to contact me and beg me back)?
drseuss Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Sounds to me like your doing really well and making constant progress with out him , giving him a route back to you by unblocking him can only have a negative impact on you recovery if he did decide to reach out Stuck with what your doing ,it will be easier for both of you if you have no intention of reconile
Author thejabberwocky Posted September 14, 2015 Author Posted September 14, 2015 You're right, but I just want to know if he feels any remorse. I'm not sure why it matters.
Oregon_Dude Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 You're right, but I just want to know if he feels any remorse. I'm not sure why it matters.Worst case scenario: he doesn't feel any remorse, and is fine without you. Perhaps happier without you. Can you handle that? Can you accept that? Once the answer becomes yes, you're on your way to healing.
na49 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 If he really wanted you to know he was sorry, a block wouldn't stop him. I vote for leaving him blocked.
d0nnivain Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 keep him blocked. Because you are even asking this, imo, you are not yet strong enough to ignore him if he contacts you. This way you won't know. Out of sight out of mind.
aboucher21 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Stay blocked. I dont have the strength to block my ex because of the "what if" factor. It would have helped me much more in the beginning. Stay blocked for as long as you can!
Author thejabberwocky Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 Blocked it is. Thanks guys. I think it would honestly be easier if he didn't feel remorse or didn't want me back. This is a hopeless situation in my eyes. We are broken beyond repair. So it would probably make it harder if he was begging for me back and promising to change, etc. It's better just not to hear it.
aboucher21 Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 It is much harder that way. My breakup was civil and my ex still reaches out to me and wants to be friends and it makes it soooo much harder in my opinion. This has been my cleanest breakup but by far the hardest to get over.
Author thejabberwocky Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 I literally just went to text him something and only remembered we were broken up when I didn't see his name on my Favorites list in my phone. Ugh. When will that stop? Does anyone else do this? You think I'd be used to not speaking to him by now.
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