neowulf Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Yeah, just another mope thread. Got dumped on Sunday after 4 months. Least it was a clean and amicable break, without any of the garbage some people are forced to put up with. Still... miss her already..
xUnknown Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 4 months isn't bad man. You'll bounce back in no time. We date people to find out what we don't like...not what we do. We already know what we like, so try and figure out some negative aspects of her that you didn't like, and carry that on to your next relationship. 1
Leigh 87 Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 That's awful. Four months is well enough to fall in love and be totally smitten Did she give you closure / proper reasoning behind the break up? 1
xUnknown Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 I wasn't trying to say that it wasn't awful or that you can't fall in love in that time...but rather look at the "positives" and carry that into your new relationship. 1
Toodaloo Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Oh honey I am so sorry... Sucks like a dyson sometimes doesn't it. Have a hug. 1
Author neowulf Posted September 14, 2015 Author Posted September 14, 2015 That's awful. Four months is well enough to fall in love and be totally smitten Did she give you closure / proper reasoning behind the break up? She told me she wasn't completely over her ex. That she was still in love with him and couldn't properly move on until she was healed. .. Kind of wish she'd figured that out before dating in the first place.. but whatever. Stuff happens. We're all human. At least she didn't string me along. It sucks. Breakups suck and I'm kind of over it to be honest. Probably time for another dating hiatus. Thanks for the kind words guys. Appreciate it. 2
Author neowulf Posted September 14, 2015 Author Posted September 14, 2015 Oh honey I am so sorry... Sucks like a dyson sometimes doesn't it. Have a hug. I'll just have to live vicariously through you fine lady I hear you've recently found yourself a new potential beau!
Toodaloo Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 I'll just have to live vicariously through you fine lady I hear you've recently found yourself a new potential beau! I have. But I am still gutted for you. Things seemed to be looking up. Not at all happy to hear the news. In a strange way though I am glad its now rather than later. At least she isn't keeping you dangling around. Still very early days for me so this could be me in a couple of weeks time. You wait and see. I bet there is a corker out there for you. 1
Gaeta Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 aaawww that sucks so bad neowulf !!! So sorry! I am glad you don't feel she stringed you along because ...I would. 4 months is quite a bit of time! I'm glad you're not too beat up by it though! 1
lino Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 I'd feel well strung along after 4 months. I don't know if I'd buy that excuse. $100 says she's with a new guy in a fortnight tops.
jen1447 Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Yep neo - it's much, much worse than you thought, she was probably banging other dudes while you were dating, maybe even on the same nights you had dates. Feel better?
Toodaloo Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 I'd feel well strung along after 4 months. I don't know if I'd buy that excuse. $100 says she's with a new guy in a fortnight tops. It will be another rebound though so you have to feel sorry for that guy too... Neo is too good for that. Deserves better.
fitnessfan365 Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 At least she didn't string me along. Sorry it ended man. But to be honest, it seems like that's exactly what she did. I'd agree if she'd told you that after a few weeks or even a month of casual dating. But four months is an awfully long time to wait to have that type of "realization". 2
Gaeta Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Yep neo - it's much, much worse than you thought, she was probably banging other dudes while you were dating, maybe even on the same nights you had dates. Feel better? OMG!! don't ever do that to me next time a guy dump me lol 1
jen1447 Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 OMG!! don't ever do that to me next time a guy dump me lol I'd never hurt you Gae, just jumping on the 'let's help neowulf by introducing doubt and making him feel terrible' train.
popcornpuff Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Sorry to hear that, man. Go take some time for yourself. Some pizza, video games, Netflix binges...whatever you need to pick yourself up. 2
Ruby Slippers Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 I'm sorry about your breakup. I just went through a breakup a few weeks ago, so I'm with you. Different reasons, but same disappointments. But four months is an awfully long time to wait to have that type of "realization". I agree that she shouldn't have dragged it out so long. But at least you weren't spinning your wheels with her for longer. 1
Oregon_Dude Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Hey, neo. I was dumped from an almost- 4 month r/s about 6 weeks ago. While it's easier than getting over a, say, 2 year r/s, it certainly isn't entirely easy. As some other posters have said, that is definitely enough time to develop feelings and fall in love. Speaking as someone who still hurts, but has gotten over the hard part (anger, obsession, depression), here are the things I would have told the "me" from 6 weeks ago: Accept it. Don't entertain any ideas of getting back together. Fact is, the trust is gone. Trust is everything in a r/s; therefore, this thing is unfixable. Don't contact for any reason other than logistics (money owed, property). I followed this, and am healthier for it. Make an interesting life change. For me it was getting a second job at a movie theater. It's fun and different. Date. Maybe not this week, maybe not next week, but soon. There are other women out there with qualities different from your ex that you have been missing out on. Feel the pain, but don't live in it. Set aside 30 mins to an hour each day to grieve. If you find yourself getting seriously bummed outside your grief time, say: I'm saving this for tomorrow. Right now, I need to focus on XYZ. You were blindsided. She's a jerk for stringing you along - which, YES, she did do. She shouldn't have dated you if she was still hung up on her ex. Have self-compassion. You're a good dude who got hurt. And that's OK. OD 2
Mrlonelyone Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 She told me she wasn't completely over her ex. That she was still in love with him and couldn't properly move on until she was healed. .. Kind of wish she'd figured that out before dating in the first place.. but whatever. Stuff happens. We're all human. At least she didn't string me along. It sucks. Breakups suck and I'm kind of over it to be honest. Probably time for another dating hiatus. Thanks for the kind words guys. Appreciate it. I'm sad to hear this for you Neo. FWIW my rule of thumb is it takes at least 1/2 the time I was with someone to get over them. Before you know it you may be completely over her. Stay NC. Don't have any hope of her coming back. Just live life and when you feel ready you will find someone else. Also one thing I would have liked to have heard and I tell you this now is...don't let anyone tell you how you should feel by time t about breakup up x. Take all the time you need. As for her reason. All we can do is take it at face value. Let us assume that 95% chance she is totally honest and is simply not over her ex. There is, however at least a 5% chance she is not just not over him but has started seeing him again by now. Many women will not let go of guy A until they have a good hold on guy B that way they are never single. (Yes some men do this too. However, women are just expected to always be dating someone to some degree and have more of a need for that.) In the end it does not matter. I only tell you this so that when you see her with him or hear through the grapevine that you will not be shocked. In any event you can try to be happy that you found out after 4 months in which there are not major gift giving holidays! 2
PureAppleJuice Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Yeah, just another mope thread. Got dumped on Sunday after 4 months. Least it was a clean and amicable break, without any of the garbage some people are forced to put up with. Still... miss her already.. Aw. You'll get there.
Author neowulf Posted September 14, 2015 Author Posted September 14, 2015 Yep neo - it's much, much worse than you thought, she was probably banging other dudes while you were dating, maybe even on the same nights you had dates. Feel better? It's your innate sense of compassion that I value most Jen. You're a saint 2
Author neowulf Posted September 14, 2015 Author Posted September 14, 2015 so there's lots of people over 30 who've never even had a gf Suffering isn't a contest man. I feel for those people who've never had a girlfriend. Doesn't make my pain any less.
Toodaloo Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Neo honey I was late to yoga last night so had to go in a different spot to my normal one. I fell over several times because during some of the poses the chap opposite *cough* appendage was in my eye line and he kept waggling it... I tried looking to the other side but the Chap there was wearing tighter than normal tracksuit bottoms and was clearly erm... "happy" to be there... My yoga instructor and I got very drunk after class and I am now very sore from a frightening hangover... 1
Toodaloo Posted September 15, 2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Hope that makes you giggle honey! If you have any hangover remedy cures that would be lovely. According to drunken texts I was still awake at 4am and had just had a lovely conversation with Texas... on my mobile... Owchie! 1
Author neowulf Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 Hope that makes you giggle honey! If you have any hangover remedy cures that would be lovely. According to drunken texts I was still awake at 4am and had just had a lovely conversation with Texas... on my mobile... Owchie! It did Thanks Toodaloo. 1
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