WildHorses Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 So, this story is a little messed up. I have never ever done something like this or been in a position like this before. My roommate/friend was dating a guy for 7 months. She didn't like the sex, didn't like how the guy made her feel. She thought he was hot and cold. She thought he was all about showing off. She's a struggling alcoholic and was also dealing with her own issues. They broke up in May. He and I ended up chatting because we shared similar interests. We met up the end of June. We decided to not tell his ex, my friend because she was heavily drinking and nothing was there worth mentioning. He was very into me at first, wanting to hang out everyday, but I was wanting to take my time. I was living still in the same house as his ex. And, I was feeling somewhat guilty, but after consoling some friends, they thought it was okay. He was wonderful. He soon seemed to bring up Sex quite a bit and it was so tacky. It made me start to think that maybe he was just looking for a fun girl to bed. He had been married for 20 years, is 41 years old. He has 2 children who he is not that close with. He was engaged and lived with a girl 16 years younger than him...that ended last Fall. So, he slet with his ex until my roommate came along. They broke up in May and he then started hooking up with his ex again. Then we started up. I told him I wanted to wait on the sex. He said he would respect that for 6 months but he was clearly failing at that. 2 weeks later he was off his rocker for a week. Not present when I was around. Something was off. He finally told me that I was not worth the stress. What stress? So, I tried speaking to him and he ignored me. He stopped talking to me for a week. I was hurt. He then resurfaces and I wanted to still take things slow. Finally, a week or so after his constant nagging, I gave into him...so it was a pity hook up. From there, this 41 year old wanted a friends with benefits, which is a joke. I told him we didnt need a title. Now, this guy is very successful. And while we were not speaking for a week he met a guy who is in the party scene. So, he's that 41 year old that wants to party and have fun, yet he struggles with being used to having a relationship. He was very conflicted, often blaming me for things not going his way, was his excuse. Well, I knew there were other women and I never pressured him to be in a committed relationship. He would make plans with me, that I never did see go through. It was disappointing. I still continued on with my life. He finally realized how much fun he has with me, and tells me that he likes me. Well, I later learn that is because he found out that the ex of his, that he dated and was engaged to for 2 years, had been lying to him. His so called party buddy outed him. Now, while he has been nice to me, he is misbehaving. I wouldn't say he is a bad guy, but he is conflicted and it's now more apparent. This past week was wonderful with him. He was very attentive. But as the week drew closer to the weekend, he was going cold again. I stayed at his place for the night and then the next day he tells me that he is going to be bringing my roommate to a concert. The tickets for the show were her birthday gift. He says he cannot get the tickets without being present for them to swipe his card. So, in his eyes, he is only being a gentleman and bringing her to the concert and dinner. He doesn't see anything wrong with this. While I understood we were not committed, he is a clear future faker. And, it could be a midlife crisis, him wanting to play the field...etc. Either way, hearing this news was a bit concerning. This is the girl that is my friend. That, I had not informed that I had been around her ex. The dynamic of this was just too Jerry Springer to me. I explained to him that had I known he would ever consider something like this with her, I would have never allowed things to get to this point. I told him that while I'm living in the same house as her, and that if he would like to spend the night with her, I will step aside because it's just awkward. He was taken a back that I would just stop things...and said he was sorry that it had to be like that. Why he could not see that this would be awkward for me, clearly shows that he didn't care that much for me. Last night, I was talking to him and he was upset about the fact that his ex, my roommate was going on dates behind his back, and had slept with somebody. He wondered why I had not told him. He began to say that if he had known this 3 months ago, we would be together that very moment...that was a lie and i knew that. Anyway, he said he was going to call the whole thing off and went to bed. Today, I learn that the two of them went to a movie. I'm being supportive to my friend. She's vulnurable, been sober for only 11 days. Is he just doing this as a sick game? I'm not contacting him. I cannot warn my roommate, because then I'm calling myself out. I was so scared all day yesterday after learning they were NOW going to a movie a couple days before the concert, that he might rat me out...I had bad anxiety, I never heard from him all day. I'm so taken aback and this is a whole new situation I have never been in. I know to do no contact. I think he is unhealthy and finds this to be a fun game...as he has done this to me before. I will be happy for my gf, perhaps they are meant to be, or he is just really a sick person. Please help.
Starks Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 you need to walk away from this drama while you still have your sanity. Be the bigger person and walk away from this cluster**** 1
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