nothingbutlovve Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 (edited) Hello all! Would love your insight....I happen to meet and connect with very hard working, driven guys ...which is the great part, but the not so great part is their schedule/jobs are so consuming, I feel I can never get close enough to build and nurture a connection. I'm totally supportive and understanding to a point because, I have needs myself and one of those needs is the other also putting forth the effort needed to build and nurture a connection. What do I do in this situation? is it that these guys just don't want the connection enough to make it work? Or is it best to just write these types of guys off all together? I believe you can have the career AND the love, just a matter of balance. Edited September 14, 2015 by nothingbutlovve
Popsicle Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Some people have jobs that require so much of both their time and emotion that they truly have nothing left for another person, but those jobs are rare. I would say in most cases, if a guy is using that line, it probably not due to his job, but rather that he can't love or doesn't want to/is lazy, or is just not into you. Either way, if it's not making you happy, then you have to let him go, or decide that you're going to just live with it and not complain.
Gaeta Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 It's because deep down they don't want a connection. You are wasting your time. I like to take your president as an example. No one is more busy than president of the US but I'm sure each day he takes time for his wife and daughters, right! 2
Popsicle Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 It's because deep down they don't want a connection. You are wasting your time. I like to take your president as an example. No one is more busy than president of the US but I'm sure each day he takes time for his wife and daughters, right! Or, maybe they just live with it and don't complain. I know I wouldn't complain if I was First Lady!
katiegrl Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 (edited) It's because deep down they don't want a connection. You are wasting your time. I like to take your president as an example. No one is more busy than president of the US but I'm sure each day he takes time for his wife and daughters, right! Exactly They don't want a connection...at least not with you (sorry Many driven, successful men (and women) manage to fall in love and develop relationships, get married every day. But it takes time and patience. Are you giving them that? Or are you pushing for more? How exactly do you go about trying to *nurture* these relationships? Can you clarify further, because you may be smothering them, pushing for more ...instead of being patient and allowing things to develop naturally and gradually. Edited September 14, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Author nothingbutlovve Posted September 14, 2015 Author Posted September 14, 2015 No smothering from my end...no texts and calls everyday, no whining. I'm just looking building to build a connection as in both of us having the ability to open up, learn, grow. How else will I fully know who someone is? It's important to add, with this particular situation with both guys, we briefly at some point started a connection in the past that sorta faded because of their time/effort. These guys seeked me out again recently knowing what I am interested in. Why would they start up something again knowing how I feel? It makes me feel like my needs are not being respected or valued and that they are hoping their way of connecting will be ok this time around. Ot just feels like to much like games and not enough of consideration.
Gaeta Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 No smothering from my end...no texts and calls everyday, no whining. I'm just looking building to build a connection as in both of us having the ability to open up, learn, grow. How else will I fully know who someone is? It's important to add, with this particular situation with both guys, we briefly at some point started a connection in the past that sorta faded because of their time/effort. These guys seeked me out again recently knowing what I am interested in. Why would they start up something again knowing how I feel? It makes me feel like my needs are not being respected or valued and that they are hoping their way of connecting will be ok this time around. Ot just feels like to much like games and not enough of consideration. People do that when they're bored or having just got out of a relationship. They go <oh ya I'll get in touch with nothingbutlove he'll give me attention>. They know you're in to build a connection with whom ever you meet but they don't care, they only care about what they can get out of you. They're takers. They take and leave you there not caring one bit how that makes you feel. They're like aliens sucking the energy out of you. Don't keep these people in your life. They don't enhance your life in any way. 1
Redhead14 Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Hello all! Would love your insight....I happen to meet and connect with very hard working, driven guys ...which is the great part, but the not so great part is their schedule/jobs are so consuming, I feel I can never get close enough to build and nurture a connection. I'm totally supportive and understanding to a point because, I have needs myself and one of those needs is the other also putting forth the effort needed to build and nurture a connection. What do I do in this situation? is it that these guys just don't want the connection enough to make it work? Or is it best to just write these types of guys off all together? I believe you can have the career AND the love, just a matter of balance. What do I do in this situation? -- You date guys until you find one that wants to balance his personal and professional life to include you and make you one of his priorities. Most people are very busy nowadays. If they want to have someone in their lives, they will make it happen. 1
BlueBlood Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Out of curiosity how old are you and how old are the people you are dating?
katiegrl Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 (edited) No smothering from my end...no texts and calls everyday, no whining. I'm just looking building to build a connection as in both of us having the ability to open up, learn, grow. How else will I fully know who someone is? It's important to add, with this particular situation with both guys, we briefly at some point started a connection in the past that sorta faded because of their time/effort. These guys seeked me out again recently knowing what I am interested in. Why would they start up something again knowing how I feel? It makes me feel like my needs are not being respected or valued and that they are hoping their way of connecting will be ok this time around. Ot just feels like to much like games and not enough of consideration. I don't think this has anything to do with them being successful and driven. They're just not that into you, so they pull back. Then after some time passes, they hit you up again. This is typical guy stuff.... hot/cold, back and forth. They may have issues, but it has zero to do with being successful and driven. My boyfriend is very driven and successful, has been from day one.. five years ago. He works full time, and has his own business which keeps him busy after work and on weekends. Extremely busy! But he "made" time for me... because he was into me and wanted to build a relationship with me. Just keep going....continue dating and one of these days you'll get a hit! A guy who IS into you and wants to build a connection with you. What's that saying.... you have to kiss A LOT of frogs to find your prince? This is true!! Edited September 14, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Author nothingbutlovve Posted September 14, 2015 Author Posted September 14, 2015 This is all very refreshing, thank you for your responses. To answer BlueBlood, I'm in my mid 30's and the guys are as well.
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