GlisteningGlue Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 I've been seeing this guy for about a month now but I don't know if I should taking these aggressive like behaviors how seriously? Last night I slept at this house for the first time it was pretty uncomfortable from start to finish. I'm a virgin, he certainly is not and I've told him I wasn't ready for sex quite yet and as were going to sleep he mutters something like "well you should just let me do it if its going to be uncomfortable anyway". Earlier that night he actually pushed my head down because he wanted a bl*w job and continued pushing even though I was pushing up resisting him. The next morning wasn't a lot better he actually practically stuck his #### in my face and mounted himself on me to try to get me to give into sex again. right before I left we were play fighting on the bed and i him to stop but he wouldn't. It was to the point where I was hitting him and almost crying when I got up finally I yelled at him and he told me I was overreacting. I wish I was making this up but this guy is 23 people, I mean 'I'm very inexperienced but this is way over the line right? I'm not being too sensitive in judging this is going to manifest worse? Ad the other big question I have is this is a guy whos had several relationships and dates no problem, and this is how he acts making a first impression? Am I the only one whos sees this I don't get it?
newmoon Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 you are right. honor your feelings on this and go with how you feel. behavior like that shows lack of respect for you and will not improve over time, it will only worsen, and perhaps in different ways. put yourself and your self-esteem first and exit the relationship immediately. i'm sure you already know this and just need some support. 3
madjac74 Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 You play the virgin card yet you are sleeping in his bed after only a month of dating? Did you intend to put yourself in a situation that you couldn't handle? I don't buy it
Siquijor Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 If you're not ready for sex, why are you sleeping in the same bed as him? By doing that you're just encouraging him. Anyway, for what's its worth, he sounds like a bedroom bully. Offload! 2
SweetLikeCinnamon Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Please ignore the abuse apologists in this thread - sometimes people on this forum really shock me. Yes, his behaviour is (very) abusive. The fact that you were crying because of his actions says it all. Also the fact you admit he's been trying to force you into sex. I'm surprised you're even considering the fact that his behaviour might be okay (it really isn't). I'm worried that things could get a lot worse the next time. I'd really advice you to not see him again. 6
Gaeta Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 What he did is more than red flags. No means no, he forced you in doing things you clearly did not want to. This man is dangerous and could easily rape you next time. Do NOT see him ever again. Also, don't put yourself in dangerous situations. Obviously you didn't know this man enough to stay over night at his place (or yours). He could have raped you, hurt you or even kill you. No, these horrible things don't only happen to others. They can happen to you. 4
Redhead14 Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 I've been seeing this guy for about a month now but I don't know if I should taking these aggressive like behaviors how seriously? Last night I slept at this house for the first time it was pretty uncomfortable from start to finish. I'm a virgin, he certainly is not and I've told him I wasn't ready for sex quite yet and as were going to sleep he mutters something like "well you should just let me do it if its going to be uncomfortable anyway". Earlier that night he actually pushed my head down because he wanted a bl*w job and continued pushing even though I was pushing up resisting him. The next morning wasn't a lot better he actually practically stuck his #### in my face and mounted himself on me to try to get me to give into sex again. right before I left we were play fighting on the bed and i him to stop but he wouldn't. It was to the point where I was hitting him and almost crying when I got up finally I yelled at him and he told me I was overreacting. I wish I was making this up but this guy is 23 people, I mean 'I'm very inexperienced but this is way over the line right? I'm not being too sensitive in judging this is going to manifest worse? Ad the other big question I have is this is a guy whos had several relationships and dates no problem, and this is how he acts making a first impression? Am I the only one whos sees this I don't get it? Earlier that night he actually pushed my head down because he wanted a bl*w job and continued pushing even though I was pushing up resisting him.-- I would have been gone when this happened. Do not see him again or answer any of this calls or texts. 6
joseb Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Yes its a serious red flag. Dont see him again. 3
Snakechammah Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Don't stay overnight in a man's bed unless you know karate. Especially when you're a virgin and would like to remain one. Even karate won't help you when you're unconscious/or sleeping. TSK. Run for the hills!! 1
katiegrl Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 GlisteningGlue will you please return and let us know you are reading these responses? Boggles my mind when a poster creates a thread, receives tons of awesome responses, never to be heard from again. This thread in particular needs to be acknowledged IMO as this is serious stuff!!!
Redhead14 Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 I've been seeing this guy for about a month now but I don't know if I should taking these aggressive like behaviors how seriously? Last night I slept at this house for the first time it was pretty uncomfortable from start to finish. I'm a virgin, he certainly is not and I've told him I wasn't ready for sex quite yet and as were going to sleep he mutters something like "well you should just let me do it if its going to be uncomfortable anyway". Earlier that night he actually pushed my head down because he wanted a bl*w job and continued pushing even though I was pushing up resisting him. The next morning wasn't a lot better he actually practically stuck his #### in my face and mounted himself on me to try to get me to give into sex again. right before I left we were play fighting on the bed and i him to stop but he wouldn't. It was to the point where I was hitting him and almost crying when I got up finally I yelled at him and he told me I was overreacting. I wish I was making this up but this guy is 23 people, I mean 'I'm very inexperienced but this is way over the line right? I'm not being too sensitive in judging this is going to manifest worse? Ad the other big question I have is this is a guy whos had several relationships and dates no problem, and this is how he acts making a first impression? Am I the only one whos sees this I don't get it? this is how he acts making a first impression? Sweetie, don't discount your "contribution" to this situation. You've made a first impression as well, which is all about mixed signals. You didn't want to have sex with this man and you went to his home. That's fine. But, he tried to coerce you into giving him oral and you stayed anyway and slept in his bed. He tried to force you again and then you were play "fighting" on the bed? C'mon.
Grumpybutfun Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 None of this is ok. He is an ass. Move on, Grumps
sm2281 Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Do not mess with this guy if you aren't ready yet. If you choose to be a virgin, be one. If you dont like it. Dont go there. These aggressive behaviors are not acceptable and you should not be forced or pressured. You need to stop seeing this person to avoid being pressured into sex prematurely and to avoid being raped. No, you shouldn't have to, but some people are bad.
BlueBlood Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 This guy is not safe. As a rule of thumb? Any situation that puts you near tears is way past the point of being ok. No means no, not 'maybe yes but only if you pressure me and force my face onto your genitals'. Never see this person again.
road Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 I've been seeing this guy for about a month now but I don't know if I should taking these aggressive like behaviors how seriously? Last night I slept at this house for the first time it was pretty uncomfortable from start to finish. I'm a virgin, he certainly is not and I've told him I wasn't ready for sex quite yet and as were going to sleep he mutters something like "well you should just let me do it if its going to be uncomfortable anyway". Earlier that night he actually pushed my head down because he wanted a bl*w job and continued pushing even though I was pushing up resisting him. The next morning wasn't a lot better he actually practically stuck his #### in my face and mounted himself on me to try to get me to give into sex again. right before I left we were play fighting on the bed and i him to stop but he wouldn't. It was to the point where I was hitting him and almost crying when I got up finally I yelled at him and he told me I was overreacting. I wish I was making this up but this guy is 23 people, I mean 'I'm very inexperienced but this is way over the line right? I'm not being too sensitive in judging this is going to manifest worse? Ad the other big question I have is this is a guy whos had several relationships and dates no problem, and this is how he acts making a first impression? Am I the only one whos sees this I don't get it? You are not overreacting. You are not wrong to still want to be a virgin. You will be wrong if you do not dump him.
siriusp Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Run like hell from that guy. He sounds like a total creep. Any guy that would do that - when you obviously are not comfortable - should be put in his place. What you describe makes me sick. Stay away from him and block him. There is NO excuse for his behavior. It is completely unacceptable for anybody.
Author GlisteningGlue Posted September 15, 2015 Author Posted September 15, 2015 Thank you guys for all for the responses they pretty much match what I was thinking. As for the person who said I was sending mixed signals yeah I should have left sooner and I'm embarrassed to say at 22 Im at late bloomer and this was my first time sleeping over someone Im dating's house also I'm not a virgin by chioce really or waiting foor this super special person at this point, just someone Im comfortable enough with. So I didnt go over thinking sex was toatally off the table. If it had gone well that actually might have happened but yeah..it didn't. I guess somewhere I was naively hoping this was some kind of over-zealous horny guy behavior or he wouldn't act that way once the beginning lustful phase died down as I did like him before all this. When I said im shocked at this being his first impression stuff I meant this when people are on their best behavior at the start so I don't think i want to know how the real him is...maybe hes used to more experienced girls who dont get to see how he is this early..he said he was looking for a relationhip and wanted me to be his gf but i have no idea what other 50% of a relationship hes looking to build when mutual respect isn't apparently part of it? I talked to him tonight and told him I wasn't happy with things and he asked why so I pretty much explained boundaries and all that stuff and hhow I felt and he pretty much blew it off and didnt seem to think it was really a huge deal. Unbelivable. i think the breakup convo is next.
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