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How Do You Cope When There Are So Many Things You Want to Tell Him/Her?

metaversus

By metaversus
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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metaversus Established Member

metaversus

Posted
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I'm in No Contact trying to get over my ex. There are many things I find myself wanting to share with and tell him every day. Every time I think of something I type it on my phone's Notepad. I'm not sure this is the best thing to be doing for my recovery as my intent/hope is to share all of it with him some day, but at least I am not contacting him . . .

 

He is the only person I've ever met that I feel really gets me in so many ways important to me. We share many of the same interests, and I know he would appreciate/utilize the information I want to share.

 

I miss being able to share things with him. It's a bit torturous not being able to. What are your coping mechanisms when you find yourself wanting to share things with your ex? There is no one else in my life who understands me and my interests in the ways he does.

catlady11 Established Member

catlady11

Posted
Posted

I understand exactly where you're coming from. In fact today I was at Target and came across something that had me reaching for my phone to take a pic so I could send it to him because this item had to do with an inside joke that we shared. He would have laughed because it was so perfect. I almost took a pic of it anyway because maybe some day I can show it to him. It's the little things that hurt the most.

 

I don't really have any coping mechanisms unless you count just feeling the pain and trying to distract myself.

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TunaCat Established Member

TunaCat

Posted
Posted

It's not easy.

 

There have been so many thing I've wanted to tell him over the past (nearly) six months. So many times I've reached into my purse, pulled out my cell phone before I remembered.

 

I think most of it has to do with the fact that I didn't say much when he ended it. Literally, I think I said "Okay" I was determined not to cry.

 

I have so much I wish I could say to him right now. I've considered writing him a letter, but I don't think I will. The temptation to mail it would be way too strong.

 

I've known him for 19 years, we've been close friends all those 19 years. So I miss my best friend and he was the only guy outside of my uncle & half brother that I trusted completely.

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K2z Established Member

K2z

Posted
Posted

I did send a letter (and in fact do not regret that; here's my backstory http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/544103-she-broke-up-but).

 

Since I sent the letter there has been 2.5 weeks of no answer. Is she thinking? Is no answer the answer? And if so, why not just answer?

 

I have stayed rather disciplined about not sending more. I do want her back and I harbor (perhaps naive) hope.

 

But you must realize that your heart and rationality are absolutely at odds right now. What feels like it will work will not work. No matter how strongly you-- and I -- feel to the contrary.

Starks Member

Starks

Posted
Posted

There is no one else in my life who understands me and my interests in the ways he does.

 

 

 

This is bull**** and one day you'll realize that

Hipster_22 Member

Hipster_22

Posted
Posted (edited)

I know how you feel. It sucks not being able to share an inside joke with them. Or anything with them to be honest. I am in the same boat, I am desperate to contact them and just tell them everything on my mind in an effort to try again (I'm 11 days NC and I am so determined to keep it going for 30 days minimum. Hopefully by the end of it I won't have this urge to talk to them). But keep doing what you're doing, resist the temptation. If it is meant to be they will reach out to you. Have hope they will do, but don't expect them to. That is when the real problems occur. In the mean time, try and get on with your life and move on. If you really feel like letting off some steam then post what you want to say to them here:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/117844-post-here-instead-contacting-your-ex

 

It helps a lot it really does. I find lurking around here and reading other peoples experiences helps too.

 

This is bull**** and one day you'll realize that

 

Starks is right. As much as you think you won't meet anyone else like him, that just isn't true (I keep thinking that to myself too). There are plenty of people in the world, you will find your match one day. Keep saying that to yourself and it will sink in over time. Stay strong :)

Edited by UNTAMEDKILLA94
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