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Should I Have The DTR Talk With Him?


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Posted

We've been in a FWB type situation for the past 3-4 months. The situation is a bit delicate because we are both co-workers. I'm holding back a bit because I do not want to make things awkward for us at work. I feel like he is doing the same.

 

We've been hanging out long enough that I want to talk to him about what type of relationship we both want to pursue. But I don't want to scare him away by bringing up the talk too early.

 

I can't read him. He gives too many mixed signals.

He definitely treats me more than just a hookup. He told me a few times I'm not just a hookup, I'm his friend. He'll buy me dinners/drinks/show tickets. He always wants me to spend the night. We spend a lot of time together, weekdays and weekends. Have great conversation and great sex.

 

But at the same time, he never wants to hang out with me and my friends. He doesn't invite me to events he goes to. He never makes concrete plans with me. He's never told me I was attractive. He actually made comments that he didn't think we could get into a more exclusive party because "we're not pretty enough". But he's not shy about expressing how hot other girls are including coworkers.

 

Should I just leave this be? Keep him at a distance. Don't even bother bringing it up? I would like for things to become more serious, but at the same time, I'm not 100% sure either.

Posted (edited)

Based on the info you've given about his behavior, don't bother.

 

If you want more now, you should probably end it and stop sleeping with him.

Edited by Popsicle
Posted

I think the most important thing is to figure out how you truly feel. Be honest with yourself and what you really want. Is he the kind of guy you want to be with?

 

Once you figure that out then decide whether you want to talk to him about it.

 

It is better to be honest in FWB situation before you fall for the guy and then realize he is already seeing someone else or doesn't care about you that way. You don't need that drama at work.

 

Good luck.

Posted
We've been in a FWB type situation for the past 3-4 months. The situation is a bit delicate because we are both co-workers. I'm holding back a bit because I do not want to make things awkward for us at work. I feel like he is doing the same.

 

We've been hanging out long enough that I want to talk to him about what type of relationship we both want to pursue. But I don't want to scare him away by bringing up the talk too early.

 

I can't read him. He gives too many mixed signals.

He definitely treats me more than just a hookup. He told me a few times I'm not just a hookup, I'm his friend. He'll buy me dinners/drinks/show tickets. He always wants me to spend the night. We spend a lot of time together, weekdays and weekends. Have great conversation and great sex.

 

But at the same time, he never wants to hang out with me and my friends. He doesn't invite me to events he goes to. He never makes concrete plans with me. He's never told me I was attractive. He actually made comments that he didn't think we could get into a more exclusive party because "we're not pretty enough". But he's not shy about expressing how hot other girls are including coworkers.

Should I just leave this be? Keep him at a distance. Don't even bother bringing it up? I would like for things to become more serious, but at the same time, I'm not 100% sure either.

 

This indicates he's not looking for more than FWB. He doesn't want to behave like a boyfriend and give you the impression he wants to take this further, so he's keeping you in the Friend Zone.

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