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Why do I still think about him?


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Posted

So I very, very briefly "dated" someone that I got intimate with pretty quickly. I was in a very vulnerable state, having just been left by my boyfriend of 7 years, and I felt so bad, so alone. Then I met this guy that seriously said all the right things, made me feel like a princess. I had an extreme physical connection with him. Then he decided he didn't want to see me anymore after about a week and a half and used the "I'm not over my ex" excuse. I don't believe that's the reason. He basically just stopped talking to me when I expressed that I wasn't going to sleep with him anymore without actually getting to know him better.

 

Now I hear about him from a friend that he works with, about how basically he's been a serial dater and even dated a 17 year old girl (he's 25), while simultaneously seeing someone else. It made me feel sick to hear that. Made me feel like I was just another notch in his belt.

 

Typing this out actually makes me realize that he basically used me, wanted nothing more to do with me than sex, and for whatever reason decided I wasn't good enough to keep around.

 

But the thing is I STILL think about this guy. It's been 5 months and I still think about him. I'm even dating someone else now who is a very, very good person, who I really like, and yet my stupid brain still brings up that *******.

 

I think it's because at the time, because I was feeling so awful, that he made me feel so good, so wanted. And I had never felt a connection with someone like I did with him, and I still haven't felt that, not even with the guy I'm currently dating.

 

It's just frustrating and I'm angry at myself for not having more self respect.

 

I'd appreciate thoughts. Maybe some common sense. Sorry for the novella, but I had to get this all off my chest.

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Posted

What's even more confusing about that guy was that he really did seem to be into me. We hung out and did stuff together and laughed and seemed to really enjoy each others company outside of being intimate. Then he just decided, seemingly out of the blue, that he didn't want to see me anymore. It just confused me, hurt me, made me feel like I did something wrong or wasn't good enough.

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