sof Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 4 years ago I had bf who dumped me without explanations. After that I was really upset and didn't have time to chase after boys because of my studyngs or I don't know,maybe I didn't want a relationship. In 2013 I met with my crush. Then he had a gf and nothing could happen. Now he is single just like me and I'm deep in love with him. We live in a big city and don't meet very often. If we meet we are always with our friends. Some months ago we were travelling to another country by bus and the trip lasted almost the whole night. I was sitting next to him. He must have been really aroused because hugged me a lot of times but his hugs lasted for seconds,he was so close that I could feel his breath, he held my hand in his, his voice was kind of different. So,did he have erection that night ? I was really sleepy at some point , so I laid my head on his shouleder. A few times he rested his head on mine but these fantastic moments didn't last more than seconds. It was wonderful but it's not enough for me to belive that he's really into me. And how can I tell that he is aroused without touching him? On our way back my best friend was sitting next to me. Nothing has happened since then. We met a few times when we were at parties with friends but nothing happened. Some days ago we were on a camping with friends. It was late at night and my crush and I just couldn't sleep, so we were alone and talking. He started asking really private questions:"Do you have a bf?" I said no;Do you have a crush on someone? I wanted to tell him that I really like him but I was scared, now I realised that I should had told him but it's too late; he asked me also a lot of sexual questions and told me some things about his sexual life-that he can't live without sex,that he started having sex at the age of 15 etc Next time when we are in similar situation I would like to make the first step but sth tolds me that if he wanted a relationship with me he would have made the first step long ago because he isn't as shy as me. We are 20+.
d0nnivain Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 Unless it's visually apparent, you can't tell if he's aroused without touching him. But it shouldn't be the basis for you to do anything. Arousal does not equal love or respect. Hugging you is also not an indication of sexual desire or horniness. When you were talking on the camping trip he was fishing for a green light to ask you out. He asked about a BF so he would know if he was stepping on a another man's toes. When he asked if you had a crush he was trying to confirm that it was OK to ask you out. He wanted reassurance that you liked him back. Because you didn't give him the green light he may now be operating under the mis-impression that you don't like him. Accordingly as a self protective measure he may be taking a step back Take a risk & express to him that you do like him. Don't announce it but find a way to have the crush conversation again.
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