It's been 8 months. I'm still crying. What is wrong with me?

[wantnotshould]

It's a mutual friend's birthday today. She is going to be there. I haven't seen her since the break up.

 

She broke up with me and got a new girl 2 weeks later.

 

I had a dream about meeting her gf. Being civil. I just woke up crying.

 

I don't get myself. I guess I'm not over her. But I thought I was. I truly thought I was.

 

I am kinda seeing this girl. But I recently started to think I don't want to date her. I like the comfort of calling her. But I am no longer physically attracted to her.

 

I told her I wasn't ready for a relationship since the beginning. I have keept repeating that to her throughout. I'm starting to think it's better to end it. But I really enjoy her company. It's just lately she has become more bickery. And I don't want that in my life right now.

 

Why am I still not over her? I feel pathetic.

[wantnotshould]

The reason I wrote is because I had a dream about her and about meeting her gf and having to be nice to her. and i woke up crying.

 

I don't want her back. I want her to want me back to say **** you.

 

Or at least I want her to know how deeply she hurt me and feel guilty.

 

I was over this. Why is it all coming back?

[Thegreatfrazzle]

I hear you loud and clear. You do not want her back, I believe you 100%, I am in exactly the same situation. I want her to regret dumping me just so I can say fu<k you and make her feel as bad as she made me feel. Unfortunately, we must accept that they will never regret their decision, and the best revenge we can have against people that have hurt us is to live our lives and make them awesome, and the ultimate kick in the teeth to our ex's is to find someone a million times better than them.

 

I know how you feel about seeing your ex. But think of it this way, you have neurons in your amygdala which fired off all the time when you were with this person, and they are just waiting in there to go off whenever you see them. As time passes, and you meet new partners, they disappear completely, and at that time you will be able to see your ex as the person they really are, and you will feel absolutely nothing.

 

My honest advice would to avoid your ex as much as possible. I cannot tell you whether to go to your mutual friends birthday or not. If I were you i'd message your mutual friend, tell them your situation and ask them to keep it private. That way you avoid your ex and you avoid hurting your friends feelings. Try to make it up to them at a later date.

 

There is nothing wrong with you, you really cared for this person and they turned around and kicked you in the teeth. To get a in a new relationship two weeks after she dumped you is completely unforgivable. She left you and hooked up with a dou<he, why on earth would you want someone like that in your life? Best of luck

[jen1447]

I agree you should avoid the party, that'll just stir things back up again in your mind. Sometimes it takes a long time to get better.

[rishu1211]

I can feel u bro. my ex left me and in a week started dating with her best friends-brother, he lives in russia. they live thousands of miles away.. she seemed to be happy and i cant be miserable here thinking about her, waiting for her to come back.. It hurts a lot especially at nights all alone thinking about past.. but we have to move forward and see there is more beautiful and happy life.. there was life before them and shall be after they are gone too..

Stay strong and forget her.. its not easy but just try.. All the best..!