nickf100 Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 Hey everyone, -> 27/m here and still relatively new to online dating. Second time seeing a girl i gave her a peck on the lips (first kiss) good night. At the end of the third date i did the exact same thing. Should i have stepped it up a bit more for the second kiss?, You think that tells her im not that interested?
LilaMarie Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 Maybe you should ask her what some guy asked me today, "So do you have any dating rules?" We went over how I feel about kissing :-) Good luck! 3
fitnessfan365 Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 Maybe you should ask her what some guy asked me today, "So do you have any dating rules?" We went over how I feel about kissing :-) Good luck! Rules are made to be broken.
jam.over.jelly Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 I sorta wonder the same thing with the guy I'm talking to. On first date I gave him a hug goodbye, and he gave me a peck on the lips, which I thought was quite adorable. I actually liked that he didn't go straight for making out with me. However, second date and he did the same thing, I actually was the one who made the move so we ended up actually kissing. Third date, also just alot of smooches, pecks on the lips (I figured we were both really tired of the whole day spent outdoors in the sun hiking). Now I wonder if he really is interested?! Or is he taking it slow and being respectful?! But I gotta tell you man, if I were her I would start wondering. You need to kiss her already!
Jj66 Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 Hmm. He could be timid and inexperienced or taking it slow. To the OP. Although I'm taking the lead, I adjust how I lead based on her receptivity. Does she kiss back? Then kiss her more. If she doesn't kiss back I'm not going to force the issue. In the early days I also like to leave her wanting more. I will escalate but leave something on the table. We had known each other awhile but this was our second date. I walked her to her car and as we stood there in the moonlight I pulled her close and kissed her. She kissed back. We kissed tenderly. I pulled away, we looked at each other and then I kissed her again. Still gentle but more urgently. Then I pulled away and said I think I better go. I turned and walked down the street to my car. She later told me she thought I was strong for being able to walk away but inside her body was screaming: come back! 1
jen1447 Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 If you're moving at that speed, kissing in the early stages should still show progress. If it starts out on a flat line, that doesn't communicate any evolution, which might discourage her. If the first date was a peck and you want to stay on that sort of schedule, the second date should be sth like a chin or cheek caress where you linger a bit longer and then peck. Then the third should have the kiss linger a bit longer, etc. If you're wondering if you should have gone from peck to tonsil-probing, no.
Author nickf100 Posted September 13, 2015 Author Posted September 13, 2015 If you're wondering if you should have gone from peck to tonsil-probing, no. lol @ tonsil probing. Thanks for the responses , this confirms what i was hoping wouldnt be the case. There's always next time
Otter2569 Posted September 13, 2015 Posted September 13, 2015 Thats a tough read! I am a hugger and a kisser but like JJ said, I tend to follow their lead especially on the first few dates. In my book a hug and a peck is like a consolation prize - thanks but not a lot of interest. Recognizing that not everyone thinks like me I would also base it on how fun the date was and the type of follow up that you get. My experience has been that an enthusiastic good bye (which usually involves kissing) yields a better relationship...but thats just me.
anna121 Posted September 13, 2015 Posted September 13, 2015 Instead of a peck, give her a soft kiss for a second or two. See how she responds. If she seems into it, move in for a longer one. Do NOT go all-out with the tongue. 1
PogoStick Posted September 13, 2015 Posted September 13, 2015 Your question is flawed as it's something we cannot answer. However, as Jen said, if she accepted a peck last time and agrees to another date, she's likely open to taking things a step further the next time. The real answer is that you should be reading her signals of what she wants. How does she look at you, and smile at you? How does she respond to your touch throughout the date? Is she being flirty? Saying suggestive things in conversation? You can be testing her earlier in the date. Don't wait until the last minute to kiss her. Kiss her a little in the middle of the date, more than once even. Then YOU stop and pull back and gauge her response. Is she lingering? Still staring into your eyes? If you realize she does want more then you can even get playful, take control of the moment. Smile, push her away playfully and say "Stop that you're being irresistible!" She wants to be desired. She wants to be irresistible. Do this mid-date and if she's wanting more you will create tension in her by breaking early. Later in the date she'll actively desire for you to give her more. 1
scooby-philly Posted September 13, 2015 Posted September 13, 2015 @nickf100 (OP) Yes - move-in. I agree with pogo stick. We can't judge as we don't see her body language and the exchanges between you two.... @anna121 has the best advice - move in, kiss her for a second or two and just hold it and see how she responds. Each woman is different and you have to pick up on the vibe. I would never consider myself a great interpreter of women or relationships....but I remember I ended up dating a woman for a few months, took to I think the 3rd or 4th date. First date went well, second date was fun, but both ended up with nothing,,, finally on the 3rd or 4th date - we were driving back to the garage where I parked and as she was driving I asked her to pull off to the side of the street. When the car stopped and everything was fine I just said "can I kiss you"....she said yes and the fireworks began. For a lot of guys putting this into practice is a pain in the ass - but it's true - the first couple of dates need to be all about learning about each other and sensing the vibe.
Popsicle Posted September 13, 2015 Posted September 13, 2015 Did you want to kiss her more? It doesn't sound like you wanted to.
Jj66 Posted September 13, 2015 Posted September 13, 2015 Did you want to kiss her more? It doesn't sound like you wanted to. Too timid to do what he wanted or not interested
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