TotoJaster Posted May 14, 2005 Posted May 14, 2005 I have been with my girlfriend for a year now and we have grown to love each other very much and get over the little things in our relationship. When i first met her she was really wild in terms of going out and partying and not caring what guy she get involved with. She says that she doesn't like partying anymore, but everytime she goes to her hometown or I am away she goes out and gets drunk. She has a problem with drinking and finally after five months of being with her she admited she was an alcoholic to me when i confronted her about it. She says she loves me and she won't do it again, but she kepts on doing even after a year. The problem is she gets mad at me for telling that drinking is not a good idea because of our past. With this said the reason i am scared of her drinking is because she has already cheated on me once in the beginning of our relationship and promised me she would not drink if i wasn't with her. I worked through the cheating with her, but i can't stand the fact that just recently she went home and got drunk once again and does not care what i think. Everytime i tell her not to get drunk when she goes out and she says to me "Just because you don't trust me im going to go out and get wasted". She absolutely becomes a different person that i don't know when she gets drunk and becomes totally out of control with her emotions and i feel like i don't know her. I love her so much. What should i do?
surely Posted May 14, 2005 Posted May 14, 2005 I think that it is time to realize that she doesn't care enough about you to respect your opinion. She keeps doing something that not only do you disapprove of but that isn't good for her health or rep. If she had any respect for you or for your relationship she would work it out with you about the drinking. My suggestion is that you could do better or ifyou don't want to leave then don't care about her drinking
SexKitten Posted May 14, 2005 Posted May 14, 2005 if she's really an alcoholic, then yes, that fact keeps her from caring what you think. however, i wonder if she's really an alcoholic or just likes going out and drinking to an obnoxious degree. maybe it's an attention thing. she likes to drink, so she does it when you're not around so she doesn't have you in her face when she's trying to have what she considers to be a good time. i'm not sure what to tell you, other than good luck. it's just as hard to convince someone to change as it is for that person to change.
Marshbear Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 I would drop her. An alcoholic will not change until they make that decision to get control of their lives. Your life will just be heartache and regret. She will tell you how sorry she is after she messes up and you will forgive her until you can't take it anymore. She will use your relationship as a crutch for her alcoholism. When you fight she will turn to her best friend ( the bottle ). I would try to get her into treatment but if you can't then I would walk away. You could try to stay in touch with her as a friend ( if you can ) to help her but as a GF I would move on to someone else. Peace...
Angeleyez2583 Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 Holy crap... that's so me and my ex.. i was the alcoholic.. after he broke up with me i got help.. he knows I've stopped drinking but he doesn't wanna go through the stuff I put him through before...and that is the only reason he broke up with me... oh well.. i'm a better person now... I think if u really love her... get her help or make her realize she has a problem.. then stick with her!
Guest Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 I know a man who stayed with his alcoholic wife long enough for her to bear him 3 children. All three suffer from birth defects: one has a physical malformation on her face; the other two suffered mental defects and are not apart of society or his family. Tragic doesn't even begin to describe it. I hope you are using safer sex measures (ALL of them) with this girl. If not for fatal STD's, but for having to care for a child who did nothing to deserve being born with a birth defect.
New_Wife Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Alcoholics don't much care whom they drag down into hell with them, most are just happy to have a little company during the trip. A very dear member of my family is an alcoholic. While we all love the alcoholic, we've had to establish clear rules and distance during "bad times." I would suggest Al-Anon or a similar program for you. They are a great group of folks who won't tell you whether to leave or stay, but they will help you find a calm place to decide for yourself.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 If she only does this once or twice a year, I would hardly call it alcoholism. "surely" is right that she doesn't care or respect your relationship. By your heading "Girlfriend keeps doing wrong" you sound like a controlling person, and this is one way of her getting her defenses up toward you. She doesn't want to be controlled or told what to do. It is her decision as to how she wishes to spend her time not yours and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. She is immature, and has some growing up to do, let her grow. She is not ready to commit to you or to the relationship but you also have no right to demand that she change.
blackchild Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 dump her! sometimes actions speak louder than words! it seems like this chick is running over you and you are too sweet to be taken advantage of like this. maybe if you left she would understand that you're not going to take her crap and if she really loved you she'll understand and change
Naive Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Originally posted by blackchild dump her! sometimes actions speak louder than words! it seems like this chick is running over you and you are too sweet to be taken advantage of like this. maybe if you left she would understand that you're not going to take her crap and if she really loved you she'll understand and change Ditto!
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