QueenDeath Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 I really don't want to sound conceited so please forgive me if I do. I'm just going by what people tell me. Anyways, I have friends, family members and my counselor at school that tells me that I'm an attractive female. Okay, now...when I'm in relationships, people hit on me, there's this level of interest of wanting to hangout/date or whatever. Now that I'm single....no one shows that level of interest. No, I don't care about having a romantic relationship, I don't feel the need for it. Just the more having a casual thing with people, going on dates and just having fun I would like from time to time and just meeting new people. So I'm wondering if this ever happened to someone before and why exactly does it happen?
newmoon Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 of course it happens, and probably to many of us. there really is something about being in love, or having a partner, or having regular sex when you're in a relationship that makes you that little extra happier, and it shows to other people. you also become much more interesting to talk to, because - as part of a couple - you might be going and out and doing things (ie activities), dinner, and such on a regular basis and not sitting on your couch watching netflix. you somehow become more interesting and attractive to others. this isn't unique to you
lop98 Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 yup but when I was in my last relationship, we were always MIA, always home doing the usual (movies, cooking, sex). The interest guys showed in me also seemed to be higher, at least they actually approached and not just flirted from a distance like when I'm single. My conclusion is that some people like the idea that you're out of reach, or the idea that you must have some special quality and that's why you're with someone, and that when you're single maybe you're single for a reason (related to behavior or who knows). I tend to think a bit like this so maybe I'm just projecting myself... 1
Jj66 Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 I experience this too. When I was with my ex fiancée I'd get approached by women or flirted with a lot more than before we got together. I happened to be at a pub while a singles meetup was happening. I got approached by several of the women. I'd politely tell them I was taken if they got too friendly. One woman said she wanted to keep talking to me because my aura was a lot happier than anyone else's in the room. I think the overall level of contentment with your life shows through. People are attracted to fun, happy people.
d0nnivain Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 When you are in a relationship you are happy & usually carefree. You aren't sweating every little detail & obsessing about everything you say or do. You aren't focused on getting a relationship. Hence you look & seem more attractive. Your vibe is different when single & it changes how people perceive you. 2
LookAtThisPOst Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 I really don't want to sound conceited so please forgive me if I do. I'm just going by what people tell me. Anyways, I have friends, family members and my counselor at school that tells me that I'm an attractive female. Okay, now...when I'm in relationships, people hit on me, there's this level of interest of wanting to hangout/date or whatever. Now that I'm single....no one shows that level of interest. No, I don't care about having a romantic relationship, I don't feel the need for it. Just the more having a casual thing with people, going on dates and just having fun I would like from time to time and just meeting new people. So I'm wondering if this ever happened to someone before and why exactly does it happen? Chances are you're you're receiving less interest because you're not "feeling the need" to be in relationship and wanting to "have fun" whatever, this "fun" is that I'm assuming casual sex which follows a fun night of dancing and the like.
LookAtThisPOst Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 I experience this too. When I was with my ex fiancée I'd get approached by women or flirted with a lot more than before we got together. I happened to be at a pub while a singles meetup was happening. I got approached by several of the women. I'd politely tell them I was taken if they got too friendly. One woman said she wanted to keep talking to me because my aura was a lot happier than anyone else's in the room. I think the overall level of contentment with your life shows through. People are attracted to fun, happy people. I know I've probably misused the word "ironic" in these forums, but this is indeed an example of irony. But I agree, this seems to ascertain though that unattached people are not content with their lives due in part to not having someone IN their lives.
jen1447 Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 Probably the best thing to do would be to act like you don't give a damn about dating and relationships. Then they'd be all over you. It's not the singleness or being in a relationship specifically, just the happiness and contentedness vibe you give off, and that happens to be strong when you're in a healthy relationship. Happiness and contentedness are appealing, the air of desperation you can sometimes have while single isn't.
Hopeful30 Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 Life's a b*tch aint it? Happens to me ALWAYS. I also have no idea why. This should be an interesting thread...
Hopeful30 Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 Happiness and contentedness are appealing, the air of desperation you can sometimes have while single isn't. Keyword: sometimes. Not all of us are desperate when single though, which makes this even more confusing. I agree with the first part of your post though. It's probably that you don't care about finding a man anymore because you already have that, and for some reason men are attracted to women who don't give a f*ck. As well, from what guy friends tell me, it's easier to flirt with a girl who is taken because you know nothing can happen. If a man knows his flirtation can be reciprocated, he might not approach you at all because a) he doesn't want you to take his playfulness the wrong way b) he's afraid it might lead somewhere c) he's a pussy (sorry guys) Still sucks though. We need men more when we are single, not when we already have one lol
oberkeat Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 (edited) Probably the best thing to do would be to act like you don't give a damn about dating and relationships. Then they'd be all over you. It's not the singleness or being in a relationship specifically, just the happiness and contentedness vibe you give off, and that happens to be strong when you're in a healthy relationship. Happiness and contentedness are appealing, the air of desperation you can sometimes have while single isn't. I've noticed this too when I had a girlfriend. Women seemed to be a lot more friendly and sociable with me when I was out shopping or something with my gf. I don't think its about the "vibes" you give off, though. I think it's just that society has a way of smiling upon couples and frowning upon singletons. We tend to view being in a relationship as some kind of a reward for being smart, interesting, sociable, etc. If people see you hanging out with your partner, they think "well, that person has a bf/gf, so there must be something interesting or likable about him/her." It's just perception, though. The reality is that anybody can get into a relationship, even socially awkward people. It's just an issue of timing, luck and opportunities, not so much inherent positive traits. Edited September 12, 2015 by oberkeat 1
oberkeat Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 (edited) yup but when I was in my last relationship, we were always MIA, always home doing the usual (movies, cooking, sex). The interest guys showed in me also seemed to be higher, at least they actually approached and not just flirted from a distance like when I'm single. My conclusion is that some people like the idea that you're out of reach, or the idea that you must have some special quality and that's why you're with someone, and that when you're single maybe you're single for a reason (related to behavior or who knows). I tend to think a bit like this so maybe I'm just projecting myself... My point exactly. It's all about the way people and society idolize people in relationships. Edited September 12, 2015 by oberkeat
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