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I am lost


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Posted

hey guys. i made posts before but i want to put everything here so i can get the best help. i really need it :( .. its long so please bare with me.

 

I never was in a relationship before, nor was my gf. we got together in 2012 we were in school that time. school started september it was 2 years of school. we started talking like late september, we talked alot not only in school but when we were out of school. all the time we talked over the phone. we had our 1st kiss in late november, was also our first kiss as individuals. i fell in love with her and i told her how i felt in december. she said she loved me too. so we were officially together, we always saw each other in school so we were very close. we talked alot over the phone and we got to know each other really well. we were each others best friend and always there for each other. we got really close and shared a great relationship. the only problem was her parents well mostly her father was strict so we never really got to hang out with each other on the holidays and school breaks. there wasnt much intimacy we kissed sometimes and like sex talking over the phone and stuff. never really got the opportunity to be intimate.

 

We had problems like every couple, no cheating or anything just little misunderstandings and arguments but we always worked through it. we never had a long talking break from each other we used to always talk and text. she was 18 and i was 19 when we started. we were together for 2 years and we had a nice relationship. last june was the end of school and we know things would start to be hard but we loved each other so much we promised we will work through it.

 

we sent each other all the love messages and letters, we felt so much in love and she said she will always love me and i told her the same. after last june she had to wait a year before she got into university and she started working august. i started school also but i didnt complete it i jus did 3 months. i know that got her upset but was a short course so i thought i could finish it early, i stopped it and we were good. we saw each other now and then but not alot and we never really did anything.

 

As of this year things were still going ok, we just talked less during the day but we still talked alot. she had some exams so i tried not to bother her alot but we still talked normal.. i know things were getting a little sour because some nights we didnt have much to talk about.. we had alot to look forward too though so we hung in there. she came home by me in april, i had a prayer meeting home and she told her mom and she came. my family already knew about her and her family knew about me except for her father. she came and met everyone, we kissed and stuff and i was a nice night.

 

Things were going ok with us no big problems until she told me in june that she didnt love me no more. she told me this outta no where and i was shocked. i dont know how to truly explain it. there was a guy in her work also and she became good friends with him, they talked alot and got close. she told me that was nothing and i really believed her. we were still in the breaking up stage and i saw her put a pic with him and her holding hands. i got so angry and when i told her she said it was a cute pic they were jus friends. but how could she do that when she doesnt even have much pics with me? or pics with us holding hands. we jus had one pic together and she never even put it anywhere but she put this pic with this guy on whatsapp..

 

she said alot of things, she said shes not ready for a serious relationship, then she said she doesnt love me anymore. i tried so much to get back with her, i talked to her alot messaged her alot and i know those arent the things you do but its the only thing i knew at that time. i met her last month and i got her a rose some chocs and i nice gift. i really met her to give her hand written letter. i told her everything there. how i felt about her and how much she meant to me and alot of things.

 

she read it and she said we cant be together. she doesnt love me anymore to stop forcing this. before i got her the letter she called me the week before, we talk for like an hour twice just like two good friends, i thought maybe things were getting btr. but after i gave her the letter and she told me how she felt again i was just so lost and confused and really hurt. i thought the letter wouldve changed her mind but it didnt. i gave her the letter a friday and she told me how she felt saturday. we had a lil small talk sunday over text just like 2 messages. and monday she messaged me in the night saying shes with her friend becuase she was starting university and she would be busyy and stuff and not to call her during the day. i just told her i wont call and goodnight. i made up my mind to bein NC with her. i deleted all our pics and messages and all that. its been almost 2 weeks and well she hasnt messaged me and i plan on not breakin NC. i really love her i miss her and i think about her alot. shes in my dreams and i was serious with her. i saw her as somebody i wanted to make a life with becuase shes perfect to me.

 

Im just lostt and confused now. her birthday is in october idk if i should contact her then, i want her to contact me first i dont want to break NC. things are more difficult now because she has schools and shes around so much people and guys and stuff. i dont know whats gonna happen with us. im hoping what we had was true love and she might contact me sometime. but i really dont know.

 

SORRY THIS IS LONG GUYS. PLEASE ADVISE ME ON WHAT TO DO. I REALLY NEED THE HELP I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO.

Posted

By all means have hope that she will come back. But do not turn that hope into expectation, as you may be left disappointed. The best thing to do now is to continue NC. As difficult as it is do not break it, even for her birthday. You have to try and move on. If she wants to come back to you she will do at some point. But if you have moved on it won't make much difference if she does speak to you again or not. If she does you can make a rational decision if you want to speak to her again. If she doesn't speak to you again then it won't make any difference to you as you have moved on.

 

I am going through a similar situation. She instigated NC on me, she blocked me on everything and I feel lost. But honestly if you try and contact her or see her you will push her further away and diminish your chances of reconciliation. But like I said, you have to try and move on as difficult as it is. I am in the same boat as yourself my friend, you're not alone. We have to be strong. If it is meant to be for us then she will come back to us, but we can't sit and dwell on this hope as difficult as it is. Try and get on with your life, keep yourself busy and distracted. Over time you will start to feel better. Yes you will feel low sometimes but that's natural. Try not to sit and over think and keep your mind occupied and you'll feel better slowly.

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Posted

lol i got blocked on everything as well.. i tried with her and i loved her. if she doesnt want that then thats up to her. things will get better, for you also my friend. take care i hope things work well for you.

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