Arun1910 Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 Some background Info: Me and my ex have known each other for 2 years. When we were just casual friends, talking every once a week or so, we would have little silly arguments. For example her sending me loads of those damn stickers of Facebook chat for 3 days made me just not reply to her for weeks haha. When I finally ended up talking to her again, I quote "When it seemed like you would never talk to me again i was really sad. I know we aren't close, but that was one of my worst months, thank God you popped up when you did!". For some reason, every time we would have a little fall out as friends, something would bring us back and we would miss each other when we were away from each other, bare in mind we were just casual friends. Throughout the relationship, well it was wonderful! I've had girlfriends before but this was the first girl I felt truly connected to. I had never had a "proper" argument before, never called her a bad name. For the entire friendship/relationship we found ourselves in each other, and that's pretty rare, at least for me and for her. We would talk a lot about how we were the first guy/girl who bought out qualities in each other we didn't know we had. Unfortunately the relationship had to be cut off, I was dumped because I was jealous about something but she couldn't take it anymore. My jealously stemmed from when I had my last relationship, my GF at the time had no friends, I introduced her to my friendship group and she slept with 2 of my friends and I got bullied from them for 2 years as well... not a fun moment in my life, but thats why I had jealously issues. My ex knew that when she dumped me but she was adamant we stayed friends. She said how she can't lose me and how she knows we were meant to find each other but the relationship just wasn't working because of my flaw, and I agree with her, jealously is a horrible thing. The Issue 2 weeks after we broke up we were fine with each other until we had our first proper argument, ever. Words were said... she was very upstrung and so I was. She kept throwing around F words, telling me to Shut the F up etc, I called her a B**** in retaliation. And THAT is where the problem lies now. At the time she just said she was really sad, and upon talking to my sister about this argument she said: "A guy calling his ex a ***** is not a big deal nowadays, and I understand he wasn't himself when he said this, but you know, if you never heard him say this it'll freak you out. If I was just a girl, I would accept what he said more, but... I thought we had something special". Upon lots of apologies from me she then said "I know it was the first time you said it and thats why it F****** hurts! Can't you understand!?". She proceded to say "We will never be friends", "I'm okay cutting you out", "Any last words?". She then told me if I messaged her again I would be blocked, which 4 days later I did because, well I guess I'm stupid but I wanted to check up on her still. She was always a strong person, but I was her weakness. She was the most sensitive person when it came to me saying things and this is a good example. Anyway, got blocked for 3 weeks. Although I didn't like being away from her one bit, it gave me a chance to reflect, improve myself as a person mentally. I never thought I would speak to her again, but then... an unblock. 5 days passed and I didn't hear from her so I messaged her and after a normal reply she Hot and Colded me. This is how the conversation went: 1. Please leave me alone 2. I still care about you a lot 3. We will never get back together 4. I hope you haven't done anything stupid because it will hurt me as well 5. You've given me a headache, bye 7. I'm going to fully add you back after your exams 6. (20 minutes later after I didn't reply) - Don't do anything stupid The Issue #2 I have questions about this entire situation. 1. Why unblock me if when I talk to her she will tell me to leave her alone but then continue to be hot and cold? 2. If she is going to add me back after my exams why unblock me 2 weeks before? 3. Why is she still angry? From my point of view it seems like she is still immensely hurt, not because of the word, but because I was the one who said it. She said herself it hurt because she never heard me say it, but its been 4 weeks... Is she really that sensitive towards me? It also seems like she doesn't know how to act, why is she coming back to me after she said we would never be friends. She could have left it at an unblock if she thought blocking was "mean" but she even wants to add me back. To me she also seems like she clearly doesn't know what she wants, to be my friend, to not be my friend, to talk, to not talk etc. Opinions?
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 Oh boy. This girl really knows how to keep you on the hook while being passive-aggressive about it and grossly overreacting about you calling her ONE swear word after ALL of the F-Bombs she threw at you during your *first ever* argument! This is a form of manipulation and immaturity on her part. Don't buy into it, OP. If I were you, I'd go full NC (No Contact) on her for several months. Allow time for her "immaturity dust" to settle. Going NC will also teach her a much needed lesson on how to communicate and interact with people that she supposedly values and cares about in a mature and rational manner. If you keep on falling for her manipulative and passive-aggressive tactics, you're going to become psychologically and emotionally drained...and you'll also be enabling her. Go NC on her now...and put out the massive fire that she has started and that she obviously wants to keep going. Stay strong and stand firm, OP. . 3
xUnknown Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 ^^ What she said. Go NC. You called it correctly - she's a bit**. hah.
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