hugznkisses21 Posted May 14, 2005 Posted May 14, 2005 As most of u know i have been with my bf for almost two years. We love eachother dearly. We have our momments and our flaws...him...attitude soemtimes, doesnt think before he speaks and inablility to communicate effectivly. Me can be needy insecure, and low self confidence....and that last one has me here today in knots. I spend the day with him a a group of friends yesterday....he barely spoke to me....he did reach to hold my hand said a few i love yous....but I feel different. Not my feelings towards him but I have myself in t his worry mode for the past few weeks that is making me feel he doesnt care for me the same as he used to. He says he does, he loves me, cares for me and our relationship is fine and that I worry too much. I ABSOLUTELY agree with him that IO worry too much. So this morning i woke up a bit depressed.....cause I asked him last night "if i were to stay over night here (at a friends)" he said "probably not" and thats it.....like after a long days of feeling distant with him he says he wont stay with me and I dont even get a because this is why hun...i know i over analyze....so i called him shared with him my feelings....and he says we go through this every week me worryining....i guess that is treu but now he is a bit upset at having to have this convo again. I dont want to dystroy things ....cause i know i not the greatest gf and I can with my emotions and insecurity....but he needs to understand too that i only see him once a week i would like to feel a tad more important to him....so he says he is going to call back what do i do? WE cant take a break cause he says he isnt doing a break.....i want to have things the way they used to be....lovey dovey do anything for me anytime anywhere....i know i want to marry this guy ...............what am i doing wrong and how can i be better at this confidence thing where i dont need him to prove his love to me...he is going to call what do i say...i need help
latida Posted May 14, 2005 Posted May 14, 2005 Just be yourself, I think. If a little less insecure...but tell him that you feel he is growing distant and that's not the kind of love affair you want. I dated a guy for a while who became distant and it hurt so much because I felt that he was falling out of love with me. Ends up he was falling in love with drugs. It took me longer than it should have to put myself first. Listen to your instincts and feelings, and tell him if you want to. If he doesn't have the ability to calm your feelings then you will have to work on them by yourself. Why do you only get to see him once a week. Can you work out lunch or coffee breaks together?
st8toftheheart Posted May 15, 2005 Posted May 15, 2005 All relationship after time wane. At least in the frequency, not neseesarily in the passion. It all depends what happens in those moments of passion. Analyzing your statements, its clear that actions speak louder than words. No effort, no communication, being indiffferent. These are all signs that something could be troubling him. It doesn't necessarily mean that it you he is troubled with, but again since some of these action are towards you you can't help but wonder. So you ask him if there is something is a miss. He responds with everything is fine, and you're just a worrier. Ok, so now what do you do? Are you happy? Content with his response? You'll need to decide what changes you need to see inorder to make you feel happy, and address this with him. If he can't commit to that, then atleast you know where you stand. All of hate to see things end, but its a wonder how long people stay in things that are bad for them, simply for the fear of ending. Good Luck.
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