Jw2015 Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 I (30) met my now ex gf/fiancée (25) 3 years ago in university in The southern US, It was love at first sight and a real fast connection between us, we started dating in June 2012 and were together almost every day for the next two years. after we finished university we went traveling in the western US for the summer of 2013, when we got back to US we had discussed studying abroad and since I wasn't from the US I had expressed wanting to raise a family there. We went to my country of origin to look at masters programs in November-December 2013. When we got back her father talked to me about getting a ring( it's important to state that she comes from money and is a bit of daddy's spoiled little princess, also I never met any real friends of hers in the whole 3 years especially gfnds which I thought was strange especially when she said that she doesn't really get along with girls cuz girls are drama n such, but I didn't mind). I did not feel it was the right time because she had expressed that she could not live away from her mother or leave the US. This was a bit concerning to me but we moved in together in early 2014 and were very happy, every once in a very little while she would hint at getting engaged but it was very signally and not deep expressions. I know now she was waiting for a proposal that whole time. We were accepted into University for our masters program and I said if its ok to wait how the year abroad would go, so she told me either we get engaged before we go or after the study program, because she takes her studies very seriously and did not want to get engaged while in an intense master program. I said ok knowing that we would go through the year and eventually get engage, and work it out. Because I couldn't commit to her at the time she decided to move in with a male roommate and I was going to live with my parents( the towns are 20 min between each other) I was not happy but I told her I respect your decision and I am not going anywhere. I was at her apartment every week and most weekends so I practically lived there. we were not the perfect couple, we would fight occasionally, but not more than the average couple, also she thinks she knows it all and it's hard for her to apologize when it's her fault,there was a bit of a rift between her and my family but we worked it out even though it was hard, and she can be a very difficult person( can be cold and not knowing how to communicate her feelings especially if something Is wrong and would pretend like it's all good) but I handled her and made it work. During most of the year she expressed to me that she liked it here but still could not leave her mother (because she is not a well woman) and could not leave the US. I told her we would work it out as long as we were together. As the year went by, me having few friends here due to the many years iv spent in the US, we would hang out mostly us but once a week my good friend who I know since I was 9 years old and his friend would come and chill with us. She went home for spring break in March expressing her love and missing me and all declaring the whole year and time that I was her ONE as well as while she was away. When she came back I said that the year is almost up and so is the program and so its finally time to get engaged, about 2 months shy of our 3 year anniversary. she agreed and I was blissfully happy, but a bout a week and a half after that she called me to break up! stating that I didn't make her a priority throughout the relationship and that her love had deteriorated without her noticing, in her mind she was perfect and that it was all my fault, even though her family loved me they prob said things about me and/or my family when she was home. I tried to get back together with her but her mind was made up and she's as stubborn as a mule she also stated that she decided that she loves it here and that she wants to live here. needless to say I was devastated but the worst was ahead, after about 1.6 months of breaking up, she got engaged to my good friend/ childhood friend who used to hand out with us every week! betrayal!:mad: I felt as if two knifes we inserted one in the back one in the heart and twisting it in. There was obvious cheating and stuff at one point during the year but also I suspect that he fed her lies about me and tricked her. This was a major shocker to everyone who knew us and the families involved which created a major rift and anger. they are set to wed in December of this year, its been 4 months more or less since the break up and two months since they got engaged. now I really don't know if there is much advise y'all can give me because I'v heard it all, I just want to hear some thoughts and insight to this situation, any feedback works. Thank you!
Author Jw2015 Posted September 12, 2015 Author Posted September 12, 2015 Idk what it is though, friends and family tell me the same thing, you were speared... You were lucky.... You would have had a tough life and marriage... She would have flipped on you later down the road.... Divorced... Her dad . .was a lawyer.... You think it's true? The thing that is ****ed up here is that I keep regretting not proposing to her last year, I know ****ed up and messed up. I thought it was good for the most part and I realized after we broke up that if you really love someone than it should not matter where you are, yea hindsight is always 20/20. But is my regret justified? Is there room for regret? Or do actions show the true character and the "nature of the beast"? How is it normal to love and care for someone who obviusly didn't give a sht about you like at all? and didn't even try to work at the relationship, like you wanted to marry me... and than possibly got to one of your best friends whom you grew up with and have a same background kinda on purpose! I'm not stroking my ego here, cuz my ego sht now, but it just seems to be on purpose to say "well you didn't propose to me when I was waiting/ wanted it... Well f you and watch this". Instead of communicating w me, feelings, wants n stuff. I feel that if the person had character like was said here, she would say " you know, it didn't work out, I am going back home to continue my life and find a partner" or something, instead what does she do she says I like it here I'm gonna stay, after stating the whole year that she is gonna go back after the year is done. Than throws herself in the "fire" creating a sht storm with the little community we r a part of, cuz my "good friend's" family and other families are/ were close. Idk it's just messed up and so are my feelings emotions and damn regret!
LoveIsMyReligion Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 Male roomate? No thanks. It sounds like you were more invested in this relationship than she. She was living with another guy, wasn't willing to compromise on where you live, and you were always going TO her... You could be a really good catch but when a girl takes advantage of you like this and then says "I'm done with you" the only thing you can do is tell yourself it's her loss and move forward in your life. You're still young (for a guy) so why not chalk this up as a learning experience go focus on you? I really don't think this girl is worth anymore of your time. Giving her more attention and trying to make things work will only allow her to take advantage of you moreso.
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