hoully81 Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 I got a divorce early this year and started dating soon after. I tried to convince my ex to give us another shot but she was never willing to end the relationship with the guy she cheated on me with so I just recently gave up on trying to get her back. 2 weeks ago I went to Vegas with my girlfriend and had an amazing time. Made my ex super jealous. This week I invited girlfriend over on Tuesday to watch the soccer game with me and to meet my 2 kids. This is where the trouble has begun. Before the game was over my girlfriend checked her phone and said she got like 30 text from my ex basically stating how big of piece of **** I was blah blah blah. I was very upset about this. Fortunately my girlfriend took this very good and did her best to comfort me and reassure me. The texting to my girlfriend continued the following day until my girlfriend blocked the ex phone number. hopefully my ex don't realize she got blocked and find another way to communicate with her. The following day my ex called me at work which I have to answer and basically told me she was not going to stop the harassment unless I committed to not having this girl around the kids again. I just hung up on her. She then started texting me saying she was going to call my boss and do what she can do to get me fired. I have had this good job for 16 years so that's not likely to happen. The ex has also said she is going to call my girlfriends mom and my girlfriends ex to warn them on how bad a guy I am. I am not sure she has done that but I did warn my girlfriend what she said. The ex also posted onto Facebook a whole story about our 18 year relationship and made me look like a piece of **** to all her friends which naturally I know most of them as we were together so long. A lot of her friends on Facebook are my kids soccer teammates parents etc so I will still have to have contact with these people and now they are going to have this view like I am some evil guy. I finally called my ex's mom with the hope she would have a level head and talk to her daughter and try to calm her down as making me lose my job etc will not help the 2 kids we have together in any way. This set my ex off even more! She sent my medical records to when I went to a psychiatrist like 3 years ago to my girlfriend which hopefully she never got since she is blocked. I was diagnosed with 3 minor mental illness which I believe for the most part have subsided as I was under a lot of stress 3 years ago. My question to the community here is what should I do? I don't believe she has broke any laws yet as I don't believe she has contacted my boss yet. Should I cave into her demands and not bring this girl around my kids so I can keep my good job so I can keep providing for my kids or do I ignore her threats and continue to bring her around my kids if that is what I wish? From what little I talked to the ex she feels like I am using the kids as pawns and just trying to get back at her by bringing this girl around the kids. Which is not the case as I have been seeing this girl for months now and we recently went on a vacation together and just naturally progressing the relationship. I feel the ex is having a huge bout of jealousy as I think a little part of her wants me to continue chasing her and trying to be with her which I am done doing that as she would never leave the guy she is with. errrrrrr!
ExpatInItaly Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 Keep a record of all contacts she makes to you and your girlfriend. Tell her in no uncertain terms that these messages (etc) will be given to your lawyer with instructions to act upon it if her harassment if she doesn't stop immediately. Do not cave in to her demands. She is a bully. Simply stop responding to her and take legal action if necessary. And thank your girlfriend for her patience and compassion. EDIT: Curious, but how did she get your girlfriend's number? 2
Author hoully81 Posted September 11, 2015 Author Posted September 11, 2015 EDIT: Curious, but how did she get your girlfriend's number? We were under the same phone plan and after we decided to get divorced as we still had phone contracts we had to honor. She looked up online who I was calling/texting and figured it out that way. I am now off that plan and have my own phone service now.
Jj66 Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 God help you, man. My ex is a similar nut case. I hope yours gets some help for your children's sake. She will try to poison your kids against you. And I would caution you against saying anything negative about your ex within hearing of the kids. Try to keep them out of it. Your ex won't. And it will eventually work against her. They will see her for who she is. You be the strong one. They need you.
GunslingerRoland Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 I'd threaten and look into legal action. This sounds like defamation of character, if she's trying to discredit you personally and professionally. Keep detailed records of everything, every threat, every harassment, and also take that to the police. This isn't fair to you, she broke your marriage, she doesn't want to take the steps to reconcile, how are you the bad guy now?
Author hoully81 Posted September 11, 2015 Author Posted September 11, 2015 I guess I don't see what I can do legally. She has yet to contact my work. She has made no physical threats etc. Defamation of charter i would have to prove she is lying and that is impossible as most is just opinions.
Versacehottie Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 Keep a record of everything. You can do screen shots of the texts and record the phone calls if she gets thru to you or your gf. You may not be able to do anything now legally but having all the prior evidence of how she has been harassing you will give weight to your case if it comes to that. I think if she is not getting "thru" to you, she is likely to escalate her behavior. She may try to get you fired. How stupid! How would you be in a position to pay child support if that happens? I think your new gf has a basis already to get an order of protection from harassing. I don't have any experience with these things but with unwanted contact to the extent you said, it would seem warranted. I think you would have a harder time proving she is bothering you since you have kids together, are ex's and ex's argue, etc. But there is absolutely no reason for her to be contacting your gf. I would pursue that end of it so it will let her know she can't bully you guys.
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