carhill Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 I'm average looking, and I try to look nice, and I think that I act normal, what could I be doing wrong that no decent guy wants to date me? If I had to hazard a guess, your aura is waving an 'open' sign to the subset of men you're finding to be not 'normal' and it definitely can be those fringe personalities among we males who are more likely to fearlessly approach anyone who doesn't have a glowing red 'stay away' sign out. One way to control for this is to approach a guy you have interacted with and do find 'normal' and flirt with him and see what happens. Also, if not already doing so, meet and greet adjunct to your social circle, which I presume you feel is normal, and that will filter for you to a certain extent. With online dating, it's a crapshoot as mentioned elsewhere. Or, like Tom Hanks opined in Forrest Gump, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get' 1
Gaeta Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 Good Luck getting Society At Large and the what the 10,000+ others have said on here for years (several in this very thread) about online dating. You are never going to convince us that the Prom King and Queen has to online date because... 1. They don't need too. 2. Would't be caught dead doing it because of the stigma that goes along with it. Prom king and prom queen? How old are you for goodness sake that you still refer to high school? I have colleagues, brothers, friends that are now married to people they met online. People that are good looking, in shape, highly educated and with amazing qualities. My cousin who's an engineer found his bio-chemist wife online. My brother who's an elected politician found his doctor wife on a dating site. My colleague who's an accountant found his finance advisory wife (and mother of his children) online. I can go on if you wish I don't have enough fingers and toes to count happy couples I know who've met online. People I know personally, not stories I read online.
wb1988 Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 OP there are two ways to take it, either you're doing something wrong or all the guys in the world are doing it wrong. Thats all I got to say. then the lady asked me will i be dating anyone else?? That's ****ing funny bro. Don't worry it's normal. I met 10s and 10s of weird guys. I had stalkers, men showing up at my office with flowers after 1 date, got kidnapped, got lied to many times, name it.. Sorry about that, I hope I wasn't too rough
katiegrl Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 Don't worry it's normal. I met 10s and 10s of weird guys. I had stalkers, men showing up at my office with flowers after 1 date, got kidnapped, got lied to many times, name it.. You got kidnapped? Wow. A taxi driver tried to kidnap me once ...but never a date! You've had quite a life Ms. Gaeta....you should write a book I'm serious! Cautionary tale with loads of humor. I bet it would make millions!
Ruby Slippers Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 From your other threads, it sounds to me as though you're not feeling solid in your life in general. I've always attracted the best men when I'm feeling good and enjoying life. We all have a certain radar for other people's energy. Good men are drawn to good energy. I think that if you work on improving your enjoyment of life in general, you'll start attracting more suitable men.
PogoStick Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 hmmm yea, two dates i went to last month, the dates went very well, then the lady asked me will i be dating anyone else?? I mean, how do you answer that without spoiling the mood? because its just a first date, should i drop everything and commit to them? sheeesh, lol Absolutely, you tell the woman, Yes I am dating other people. If she asks, then she gets the answer. She could be asking because she's dating other people too. If it freaks her out, oh well, maybe she's not the one anyway.
PogoStick Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 After our Saturday morning coffee at starbuck it was raining hard so he offered to drop me at my metro station 2 streets away. I stupidly accepted. He never dropped me at my metro station. He drove 40km on highways across the city refusing to let me go. I had the scare of my life. He finally let me out after I promised him I'd spend the next day with him. (do I need to say it never happened). Can't trust what women say these days!
Author ilovemusic3 Posted September 12, 2015 Author Posted September 12, 2015 I do meet guys in real life too, not just online, and nobody normal ever likes me. I don't know how to flirt, I'm not one of those loud girls who joke around, but I think that I act normal and nice. I'm just not sure what to do.
Winterina Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 The screening is hard, people are on their best behavior when they first talk to you. My daughter is 28 and also tries online and she runs across the same problems I do and I'm 49. Scary. Makes me want to stay with the ahole I am with right now, rather than go out there and meet more of the same or even worse. I'd love to hear that there is something better out there, something genuine and loving.
Gaeta Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 Scary. Makes me want to stay with the ahole I am with right now, rather than go out there and meet more of the same or even worse. I'd love to hear that there is something better out there, something genuine and loving. That's also what my good female friend thinks. She prefers keeping her ahole than go back on the dating market. The difference is I don't go to bed at night crying, she does. She has chest pain from constant worrying, I don't. Each new man I meet risk being the 'the one' for me while she's stuck with her moron.
Winterina Posted September 12, 2015 Posted September 12, 2015 That's also what my good female friend thinks. She prefers keeping her ahole than go back on the dating market. The difference is I don't go to bed at night crying, she does. She has chest pain from constant worrying, I don't. Each new man I meet risk being the 'the one' for me while she's stuck with her moron. I am like your friend, just with more psychosomatic symptoms, and probably much more depressed and lonely. I used to the opposite before I met him. I told him that there is no more guarantee on my side that I will not look around for what else is there... Actually, I might not proactively look, but if something comes along I will not be closed off as I usually am to guys. Here is what I figured out. People think and judge other people by two things: one and the dominant one is themselves and the way they are. The other one is just experience and other people you knew in life and the way they were. I made a mistake of thinking he is like me in terms of emotions and that his words mean the same thing as those same words mean when I say them. I meant his sorry meant he is sorry. Etc. Thus the two years with him. He took my last childbearing years away. :-( My friend just told me she is in love with someone else (EA) and she is married and has a kid. She was sparkling after a long time. While I am all for not cheating and am I probably the most loyal person on earth (never even looked at another - I SWEAR - while in relationship, even in my former 7 year long one) seeing how he brushed off her attempts to tell him some things, ignored her, slipped some comments about her looks after the baby, and so on... I really do not blame her. I see her point. What can I say, sadly, I am not black and white any more on the topic of falling for others and cheating. I know now what it takes to get a loyal person to the state of mind that they even entertain that thought. It takes a couple of years of hard work, gallons of tears, tons of I am sorries, and then repeat the process again every day, week, or month... From my crappy experience - advice to the OP - do not feel like you are missing on something. Do not put up with anything for too long. Give one chance only. Even those do not work.
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