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Posted

I'm so frustrated with this OLD stuff. I have never received not one message or like on any OLD site that I'm registered on--NOT ONE! Like holy ****, it's either I'm one of the ugliest pieces of work that has ever existed on this earth or I just really don't get this at all. My profile description is good, I have enough photos, I do quick matches etc and STILL NOTHING!!! ****, even on Tinder I get no likes and **** is solely based on looks!

 

I'm not one to judge but I know people who I would perceive to be far less attractive than me who get likes on Tinder. In my life, I don't think I've ever had a girl tell me I'm ugly (not that I could remember).

 

My friends and family tell me I look like Vin Diesel, even people I didn't know have told me the same thing. I don't think Vin Diesel is an ugly dude at all, is he? :lmao: Idk Idk lol

 

Anyway, this **** is demoralizing and frustrating. I feel like I'm taking L's one after the other. Like God Damn, and I not meant to be happy or have a ****ing date? Like ughhhhh!!!!

 

I'm sorry, I updated all my profiles tonight to see if something would click and still nothing, zip, Nada. That's why I am the way I am. This is the only way I could find a date somewhere in this world. I don't like cold approaching (I suck at it), I hate bars, I hate clubs, I have no time for anything else, my dating life is completely nonexistent and I'm sitting here asking myself, what is life? Lol

 

Idk anymore. Rant done lol

  • Like 1
Posted

Have you tried finding someone through your social circle and social activities? Out of curiosity, how did you meet your last GF?

  • Author
Posted
That's OLD for you, man. You are now angry enough with it that I would suggest backing off from OLD.

 

Yeah. No more OLD for me. I'm just trying to stay cool right now because this stuff is awful.

Posted

Maybe you are not what people are looking for? Maybe...ugh...hate to say this but maybe the pics you post make you look unattractive? What I mean by that is: no shirt on, you standing next to car you drive...you know what I'm getting at....don't want to upset you, just my two cents.

  • Author
Posted
Have you tried finding someone through your social circle and social activities? Out of curiosity, how did you meet your last GF?

 

My social circle doesn't really exist. All my friends are in relationships and/or married. I met my last gf through a friend. They went to the same school, she thought we would make a good match, we talked on Facebook, went on a date the rest is history.

 

I don't have those opportunities anymore. Plus people within my culture LOVE to get married young so everyone is taken (majority of them are). Every time I see a cute girl on the train she has a ring on.

  • Author
Posted
Maybe you are not what people are looking for? Maybe...ugh...hate to say this but maybe the pics you post make you look unattractive? What I mean by that is: no shirt on, you standing next to car you drive...you know what I'm getting at....don't want to upset you, just my two cents.

 

I don't have any picture's like that. I'm not the flaunting type.

Posted

Well, may I ask...why don't you make the first move? What is wrong with that? You have to be proactive sometimes for it to work.

  • Like 1
Posted
Well, may I ask...why don't you make the first move? What is wrong with that? You have to be proactive sometimes for it to work.

 

Excellent advice

  • Author
Posted
Well, may I ask...why don't you make the first move? What is wrong with that? You have to be proactive sometimes for it to work.

 

Yes, I have been proactive. They just look at the message and never answer. **** is too funny lol :lmao:

Posted

Well like Enigma32 said...that's OLD for you. If you are in NYC try meetups, you can meet a lot of people through there. Try dancing meetups, surely there will be women without a partner. If they are without a partner...hmm they might be single. Don't give up dude! :) Best of luck to you.

  • Author
Posted
Well like Enigma32 said...that's OLD for you. If you are in NYC try meetups, you can meet a lot of people through there. Try dancing meetups, surely there will be women without a partner. If they are without a partner...hmm they might be single. Don't give up dude! :) Best of luck to you.

 

Thank you, I'll try not to give up! :laugh:

Posted
Thank you, I'll try not to give up! :laugh:

 

Of course don't give up. I met my wife in a blind date which is the same thing as OLD when you think about it

Posted

Dating is supposed to be fun and uplifting. If the overriding emotions are frustration and annoyance, IMO try something else for awhile. You apparently ran into the same thing regarding OLD, perhaps with a different twist, that I ran into in real life. Crickets. In my case I also ran into a lot of married women. So, combining crickets (rejections) and married women I became really annoyed and frustrated so quit real life approaches and moved to the then new realm of online dating after a brief stab at the old phone personals. Online went far better.

 

If it don't flow, just say no. If ranting helps, I hear ya. Good luck!

Posted

You should tell all your married friends, and coworkers too, that you would like to be fixed up with someone. I've set up dates for people. I enjoy that. They don't always lead to relationships, but you can go out and have a good time.

  • Like 2
Posted

That sux Jono, you're definitely not ugly so don't let it get to your confidence. Glad you're ready to put yourself back out there though, you've come a long way! Not sure what to tell you as I am not a bar or club person either. I tried Meetups and dance classes etc but got nowhere.

Posted

OLD runs hot and cold. It can definitely be a blow to your ego.

 

My suggestions are to have several pics of you smiling and having fun. Also make sure you have a great profile with a solid catch phrase. Switch up your main pic too....it gets attention.

 

I,m on OLD - just recently and i'm getting plenty of hits. Maybe because i'm "fresh meat"?

 

Good luck, brother!

Posted

Yep, change up your profile, change up your pics, change your setting etc, it does end up giving you a few more hits.

 

I did say that OLD is brutal, so please don't get disheartened, it means nothing. You'll get some hits, you'll get girls ignoring you, you'll get girls showing interested and then playing hot and cold and you'll get a few crazies hehe, just keep plowing through ;)

Posted

You're a good looking man I have no clue why you have no responses I can only think it's not because of your pictures but something in your profile. Do you smoke? Are you very short? Do you have 6 pre-school children? Do you have a tarantula as a pet? (I would totally ignore a good looking man with spider as a pet) Do you have a car? It's not your look, I assure you, it's something else.

Posted
You should tell all your married friends, and coworkers too, that you would like to be fixed up with someone. I've set up dates for people. I enjoy that. They don't always lead to relationships, but you can go out and have a good time.

 

This old fashioned way is often overlooked. Tell your coupled friends that you are looking for a girlfriend. Women, especially like trying to set people up.

Posted

I really do think you need to get someone to look at your profile.

 

Also I think you should get out and do the things you enjoy and explore the city around you more.

 

OLD is harsh. Very harsh. Sometimes you get lucky sometimes not.

 

Its is after all just a tool to meet people. Thats all. So why not put your self in a position where you use all the tools you have to meet people not just one or two.

 

From what I hear New York is a tough place for guys to try and meet women who want to settle down and be in a committed relationship.

 

But keep at it. If you rise to the challenge it will be worth it!

Posted
You should tell all your married friends, and coworkers too, that you would like to be fixed up with someone. I've set up dates for people. I enjoy that. They don't always lead to relationships, but you can go out and have a good time.

 

I was set up by a female friend that I had told I was unhung. And that woman became my wife.

  • Like 1
Posted

It's awful for men in that they get virtually no responses.

 

It's awful for women in that they get countless creepy messages, dick pics, etc.

 

Occasionally you find a good match, but rarely.

 

It's not just you, OP. I struggle with it too, and am going to hang it up after going on the dates I have already scheduled.

 

My advice would be to just completely forget women, masturbate when necessary, and do things you truly enjoy. Relationships and dating can really damage the self-esteem, and it's just not what guys like you and I need right now.

Posted

I can smell your desperation from over here. So women can pick up on it like mice on cheese.

 

Take a break from OLD. You're probably hammering it so much you are noticed too much. Women love the "fresh meat" that shows up on OLD so take a break for a while and come back to it.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted (edited)
It's awful for men in that they get virtually no responses.

 

It's awful for women in that they get countless creepy messages, dick pics, etc.

 

Occasionally you find a good match, but rarely.

 

It's not just you, OP. I struggle with it too, and am going to hang it up after going on the dates I have already scheduled.

 

My advice would be to just completely forget women, masturbate when necessary, and do things you truly enjoy. Relationships and dating can really damage the self-esteem, and it's just not what guys like you and I need right now.

 

I'm already doing that and no I'm not enjoying myself.

 

Lately I've been feeling really down, I don't know what it is. I need something, I need to know that someone still wants me.

 

Seeing my friends and all these people around me getting engaged and married is REALLY making me paranoid.

 

Yesterday one of my friends got engaged andci literally cried for like half an hour. Doing the things I love doesn't really do anything for me.

 

I was good just a week ago but now that pain is starting to come back and this makes it worst. :(

Edited by Jonp219
Posted
I need to know that someone still wants me.
While I can relate to this feeling, and it hurts, I also know this: the one thing you want the most, that you strive for and means the world to you, you will not receive.

 

You will not get the external validation that you are looking for. Why? Simply because you are looking for it.

 

Life is cruel in this way. Things come easy to those that don't want them, and hard to those that do. The only way around this is to completely change your priorities. Once you do, you will be genuinely happy, which will attract others in turn.

 

But getting there takes a lot of self-work. I suggest starting with therapy. I do it, love it, and it's helping me find myself again.

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