Otter2569 Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 I'm just getting back into dating after a long and rocky relationship so I am not looking to settle right down. What do you say to women you meet on OLD (or any where for that matter) to let them know you want to date them but still keep your options open and still date around? Should I even say anything unless they ask? Seems to me if you dont handle this situation correctly you are going to lose a lot of women. I am not trying to be a dick but there are several prospects and I have just started back into it.
Jules Dash Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 Trust me, most won't even ask much about this area because they are doing their own juggling act and they don't want you interrogating them either. 4
mrldii Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 Personally (and I am a woman), I employ a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" philosophy. When and if I'm asked if I'm dating others, I simply say that, as a single woman who is not exclusively dating anyone, I'm available to date whomever I please, whenever I please. Oh, and everyone I date ['til exclusive] is "Babe" and "Honey". 3
Author Otter2569 Posted September 11, 2015 Author Posted September 11, 2015 Great point Jules! I get the impression that my two upcoming dates may not have much going on at the moment. One at least was getting ready to drop the site before we started chatting. And we have chatted a lot so far (texts and phone) I'd like to have something in my back pocket if the topic comes up. Something non mood killing preferably
Author Otter2569 Posted September 11, 2015 Author Posted September 11, 2015 Too funny, I save my "Babes" and "Honeys" for when we are inclusive. Believe me, I would be happy with the "dont ask dont tell"
Jules Dash Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 Great point Jules! I get the impression that my two upcoming dates may not have much going on at the moment. One at least was getting ready to drop the site before we started chatting. And we have chatted a lot so far (texts and phone) I'd like to have something in my back pocket if the topic comes up. Something non mood killing preferably I usually simply say if asked "yeah, nothing serious...how about you?" I admit to dating others but keep it vague then Immediately turn it back to her and she will reply in turn with a vague answer then the subject is usually switched relatively quick. 1
Author Otter2569 Posted September 11, 2015 Author Posted September 11, 2015 Swweeeeet answer, Mr Dash!
Author Otter2569 Posted September 11, 2015 Author Posted September 11, 2015 ok last question: What if I get something along the lines of "do you want a relationship or are you looking to keep dating?" Probably not a first date question (I hope) but I have two women that seem interested and a few i have not followed up on...but may want to follow up depending how this weekend goes.
Jj66 Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 Don't ask don't tell is also the way I go about it. There are also common sense rules to follow like not booking two dates on the same day, not lying about where you are, not texting others when you are out with someone, etc. I recommend not sleeping with multiples without disclosing that unless you are really into drama. 1
Author Otter2569 Posted September 11, 2015 Author Posted September 11, 2015 Two in one night is the toughest trick in the book! Its hard enough having a different one each night of the weekend...kinda like preparing for college finals - you are cramming to keep it all straight. I should also say that I am dating women in their 40's. They are a different breed: most have been divorced, have kids, may own a home and hopefully have a career. Many are just getting back into dating as well.
Jj66 Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 I mostly date women in their 40s as well. This actually makes it easier to date around. They have busy lives that keep them from demanding too much of your time. They're not all gung ho to get married and have kids so they are sometimes open to something a little more casual, open relationships etc. 2
phineas Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 Trust me, most won't even ask much about this area because they are doing their own juggling act and they don't want you interrogating them either. Yep. It's red flag when a woman is asking about other women you are seeing from the site after a first date or even 2nd date. Especially before sex is on the table. When this has happened to me I've been accused of being a player or not wanting a relationship or just wanting casual sex because I won't commit to them after a first date? I'm a good guy and all that but if a woman is latching onto me that quickly something is off with her. Normally they latch onto me like that after I bed them.
jen1447 Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 It's funny how you don't really need dating strategies if you're just honest. ok last question: What if I get something along the lines of "do you want a relationship or are you looking to keep dating?" "Right now I'm looking to keep dating." What so bad about that? If she can't deal with that you don't want her anyway and you'll have screened her, and if she can, everyone's happy. Plus you won't have to worry about keeping your stories straight. 3
Yummm Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 (edited) Been on 9 dates in 3 weeks and most of the girls have all brought up dating and /or the app that we started talking on. I always tell them that I am eventually looking to find someone but now i'm meeting new people and going on dates. I also told them that if I were to enjoy dating her I would instantly stop dating my other prospects. One of the girls who was very interested in me took this badly, even though we were only on our second date! That shocked me and was one of the reasons why I stopped seeing her. The others seemed to have been fine with it. As Jen said, honesty is best! Good luck Edited September 11, 2015 by Yummm 1
carhill Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 What do you say to women you meet on OLD (or any where for that matter) to let them know you want to date them but still keep your options open and still date around? Focus on your dates with them. If asked directly, simply state you're not currently in a committed relationship. Should I even say anything unless they ask? Up to you. I never did. Neither did they. After we had been together quite sometime, my exW educated me on the typical dating milieu in my demographic, since she'd been married twice and been with a lot of men. With more time and experience, I came to see that as normal. TBH, I didn't do a lot of volunteering because I dated for a good 15 years as a virgin and that wasn't a can of worms I was interested in opening, not with the women of my demographic anyway. Hence, YMMV. Each situation is different.
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