jaisai Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Hi Everyone... Like everyone here I have an issue that I need insight on.. I started dating a guy 3.5 years ago, in the beginning things were going really well, and we were head over heel for each other.. He is a very busy business man (in the beginning I didn't know to what extent) and takes care of his mom (his mom and I were very close, and he is really attached to his mom..) We got engaged this past December and things were going great (sure we had we have our fights, I always felt that he put our relationship on auto pilot and didn't really make efforts.. He felt he did and I didn't appreciate them) this year I got so busy planning a wedding that I got stressed and put our relationship on a back burner.. the wedding become about the guests and not about us.. We started to fight a lot a month prior to the wedding, and he finally called it quits a week prior to the wedding.. He keeps telling me he doesn't know how he feels about me, and that something changed in 2015 that he may have fallen out of love.. If I ask him that if he loves me he says he doesn't know.. If I ask him if he wants to throw our relationship away he says no.. He wants a month off and try but I am scared we won't get back together.. I want to save our relationship and not throw it away..
drseuss Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Well a posative is he has been totaly clear and said exactly how he feel and what he want He wants a month off , so respect what he has said and let him have it ,step back leave him alone and wait till he contacts you , if you pester him and keep on at him he's not having time off to think and see what his life would be like with out you This will make or break you two as a couple but not giving him space will break you , at least he hasn't married you the divorced you 6 weeks later I'm sure you will be ok and the wedding is probaly freaking him out
Satu Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 It's interesting that he asked you for "a month off," but you've titled this thread "breakup." There's a little cognitive dissonance in that, and more than a bit of Freud. As I see it, you only have 2 choices: 1. Let him have his "month off." 2. End it yourself. If a person tells someone that they don't know if they love them, the outcome isn't usually a positive one for the person they are talking to. If a person really loves you, they don't want a holiday from you. In this situation the more likely outcome is a breakup. I would prepare myself for that, if I were you. It could go the other way, but I'd still prepare for the worst. Take care.
Author jaisai Posted September 10, 2015 Author Posted September 10, 2015 Well, He says that his emotional tank is at zero, his work is going really bad, problems with his mom and he doesn't know when he can fix us. After he called of the wedding, he contact me with a reflection of all the things on where he went wrong, where I did and Where both of us messed up.. We went back and forth on the email and were making progress but then all of sudden he said he didn't want put my life on hold cause life is really stressful.. The next day I met up with him ( which he did come to see me ) and asked if he wanted to fix us.. he said yes but doesn't know when or how he feel about me.. he feels deep inside I don't love him but I do.. I haven't contacted him since which has been about 8 days nor is he on my fb anymore... 1
quattrob Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Have to be honest when one of my ex asked me if I liked/loved her still, I gave the exact same answer "I don't know"... I can tell you that they do know but they are just afraid to admit it because they aren't completely ready to let go of the relationship yet.. sad to say this but he's starting to check out and there's nothing you can do to stop it, it's like a snowball effect that even he can't stop. I'd say give him what he wants by either breaking up with him yourself or giving him that 1 month "break". 1
drseuss Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 How happy are you going to be with this guy if you get back together , someone that can unpredictably drop you without warning a month before your wedding , an even that is suppost to shown two people unconditional love and commitment for each other , I don't think if I was in love with someone and wanted to be with them I would do this a month before a wedding ,I know it sucks hearing this stuff but this is about you not him 1
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