I acted psychotic and I can't get over him.

[Sweetescape910]

I can't even begin to explain how crappy I feel. I was hook up buddies with this guy for a year on and off. We began dating and he ended it two months in saying he's not ready for a girlfriend. We never were official. We started seeing eachother again early May but I kept acting pushy and annoying. He eventually got fed up and ended it. June came around and we rekindled. I told him I don't have feelings for him and it's just for fun, but I started developing feelings as the summer went by. He is an atheist, used to be a drug addict, and still does occasional drugs. He never treated me right but I kept going back. This August we got into a lot of arguments. I acted very pushy and wouldn't give him his space. Eventually he ended it again and this time FOR GOOD. This was last week. I've been texting him every day and trying to ask questions, find closure, try to get him back.... Nothing worked. He's even called me psycho a million times but I can't seem to stop. I can't control myself. I'm such a good pretty smart fun girl yet I struggle with codependency issues. I asked if he would give us a chance in the future and he said maybe I can't determine the future but probably not. I'm just so hurt about everything. He thinks I'm crazy and it's all my fault and there's nothing at this point I can do to change his mind. He's so insensitive and rude to me.he said mean things to me and I'm sure it's because i didn't give him space. I know I need to start NC but I'm still hurt that I ruined my image. I know deep down I'm a good person but I just have no self esteem. He even did "you're hung up on someone who doesn't care much about you right now"

 

Please try not to be brutal. I know how easy it is to say stop talking to him and move on but I really want him and I'm trying to fight my codependency. I just wish he can realize that this is not me at all. I feel like I'm not myself anymore. I feel so embarrassed even writing this. There's not too much details in this post so feel free to ask. How do I move on from this and lose hope that maybe there would be a chance for us to reconnect in the future? I'm also 19 and he's 22

Edited September 10, 2015 by Sweetescape910

[casey.lives]

This might not be about codependency per se. I wasn't codependent but i experienced separation anxiety from a sudden/unforeseen break up and it led to me acting out and panicky. I think it's normal behavior to be honest, during a break up. It takes some time to accept that the relationship is final. I can only advise you to surround yourself with people who you can talk to and can comfort you.

[lovecoach]

YOU ARE CRAZY!!! AND YOU NEED TO OWN IT. I would not say that you are physco because all you are doing is basically annoying him. The problem is you have spent time with this guy. This is someone you have gotten to knew over the year and it hurts knowing that he don't want anything to do with you. Because you guys have grown close together. It feels like you have lost a friend. Maybe a best friend. And that's where the hurt come in at. But instead of crying, you are acting at and its aggravating him. But he has to blame himself because that on and off relationship would drive a woman crazy. Your first mistake was entertaining him further after he said he didn't want to be in a serious relationship although that's what you wanted. The best thing to do is to let go. Don't call him and don't text him. Honey, move on! There are other people out there. If a guy don't want you, its his lost and your gain. You don't need to take him back ever again because he's just wasting your time. Some women find it hard to move on and let go. They turn into fatal attraction but no man is worth it. Just move on! The less contact, the more you'll stop thinking about him.. Block him from all social sites. Change your number if you have to. Pray and ask God to get your mind off of him. And one day, you will find yourself not worrying about him.

[Caslina]

Hello Sweetescape910,

 

I understand the feeling. It's natural to feel like you're going crazy and doing crazy stuff until you cannot recognize yourself. He's not worth it. You need to love yourself. Learn how to love yourself, when you do, you will stop all this craziness.

 

Until then talk to your friends talk to the forum. Surround yourself with people who will stop you. In this case, it's too late but don't worry he will come back in a few months.

 

You're still young and you love fiercely. Slowly, your craziness will go down as you age and mature and realize no man deserve this much of you.

[thejabberwocky]

You poor thing. First we need to do damage control.

 

Stop contacting him. I know it is SO hard, but anything you say will make this worse. You have got to control yourself. No contact with him for now. Try to aim for 60 days. You will feel so clear headed and emotionally stable afterwards. Plus, he will wonder where you went and miss you.

 

However, although it will be nice when he comes crawling back, I suggest you don't go back to him. He sounds like an awful partner. You do not want to be with someone like this. He will hurt and disappoint you over and over. I just ended my 6 year relationship with my boyfriend. We started dating at 18. He ended up having a drug problem and let me tell you, it gets worse not better. Don't waste 6 years to figure that out. It will never work with this guy, so cut your losses and be thankful you found out now!

 

Now for the psychotic issue. Let me be clear: you are NOT psychotic. You are a girl with very low self esteem and abandonment issues. You recognize this, which is half the battle. What you need to do is find a therapist. Seriously, this will help you immeasurably in the coming weeks. This is who you will call when you want to call him. The therapist will teach you how to build self-esteem so you can have a happy, loving relationship and never feel out of control or psychotic again. Do it now while you're young and you won't spend years finding this same sort of guy and ruining your life.

 

I know it's so hard, but it gets better. Trust me on this!

[Sweetescape910]

You poor thing. First we need to do damage control.

 

Stop contacting him. I know it is SO hard, but anything you say will make this worse. You have got to control yourself. No contact with him for now. Try to aim for 60 days. You will feel so clear headed and emotionally stable afterwards. Plus, he will wonder where you went and miss you.

 

However, although it will be nice when he comes crawling back, I suggest you don't go back to him. He sounds like an awful partner. You do not want to be with someone like this. He will hurt and disappoint you over and over. I just ended my 6 year relationship with my boyfriend. We started dating at 18. He ended up having a drug problem and let me tell you, it gets worse not better. Don't waste 6 years to figure that out. It will never work with this guy, so cut your losses and be thankful you found out now!

 

Now for the psychotic issue. Let me be clear: you are NOT psychotic. You are a girl with very low self esteem and abandonment issues. You recognize this, which is half the battle. What you need to do is find a therapist. Seriously, this will help you immeasurably in the coming weeks. This is who you will call when you want to call him. The therapist will teach you how to build self-esteem so you can have a happy, loving relationship and never feel out of control or psychotic again. Do it now while you're young and you won't spend years finding this same sort of guy and ruining your life.

 

I know it's so hard, but it gets better. Trust me on this!

 

Thank you. I really needed this. And thank you to everyone above. I was expecting people to be like "you guys didn't even go out so why are you crying?" I grew close to this guy. The on and offness drove me crazy. I found out he was having sex with multiple girls this summer and he told me this himself. He knew I wouldn't be his hook up partner if he was seeing other girls. I feel so used. But thank god we never had sex. I really really care for him, and it hurts for me because clearly he doesn't give a crap about our friendship. He said I'm annoying, i push him, im psychotic and crazy. I thought the best of him even though he's not a good guy. Yet I'm a good person and he thinks bad of me. I just don't know how to let it go. It was so toxic and I'm glad he's saving me from hurt but I just can't stand the idea that it's over because of me. the straw that broke the camels back was me saying "you haven't asked me to hang out in a while" he freaked out. We were supossed to go to a concert this Saturday and he's taking back the ticket from me and giving me money to buy it off. I feel so hurt that he's doing this. I was so excited to go and listen to his favorite band and be with his friends. I feel worthless to him. Here I am writing on this site and I doubt he's even thinking of me. I gave him all the attention in the world, for a lifetime. I told him I'm hurt he was having sex with girls this summer when he knew I wouldn't be his friend if he did. He wrote "you're not my girlfriend, shut the **** up". He said his purpose for not telling me was not to hurt me. I feel like a mess.

I feel unimportant by him and unloved. Once he picks up the tickets i know it's done and there's no more contact. Will he ever look back and realize how much he hurt me?

[Sweetescape910]

You poor thing. First we need to do damage control.

 

Stop contacting him. I know it is SO hard, but anything you say will make this worse. You have got to control yourself. No contact with him for now. Try to aim for 60 days. You will feel so clear headed and emotionally stable afterwards. Plus, he will wonder where you went and miss you.

 

However, although it will be nice when he comes crawling back, I suggest you don't go back to him. He sounds like an awful partner. You do not want to be with someone like this. He will hurt and disappoint you over and over. I just ended my 6 year relationship with my boyfriend. We started dating at 18. He ended up having a drug problem and let me tell you, it gets worse not better. Don't waste 6 years to figure that out. It will never work with this guy, so cut your losses and be thankful you found out now!

 

Now for the psychotic issue. Let me be clear: you are NOT psychotic. You are a girl with very low self esteem and abandonment issues. You recognize this, which is half the battle. What you need to do is find a therapist. Seriously, this will help you immeasurably in the coming weeks. This is who you will call when you want to call him. The therapist will teach you how to build self-esteem so you can have a happy, loving relationship and never feel out of control or psychotic again. Do it now while you're young and you won't spend years finding this same sort of guy and ruining your life.

 

I know it's so hard, but it gets better. Trust me on this!

Thank you so much. I know I'm not psycho. It hurts that he doesn't even think that I'm just going crazy because I'm hurt. This guy meant a lot to me, and clearly the feelings were not reciprocated. If you guys are interested, I have previous posts about him. I know I have to stop contacting him, but it hurts me so much that he wants nothing to do with me all because of the way I acted. I wouldn't give him enough space when he asked. I didn't feel there was a need for space. This guy treated me so poorly I don't even know why I'm writing about him. I should hate him but I dont

[Sweetescape910]

YOU ARE CRAZY!!! AND YOU NEED TO OWN IT. I would not say that you are physco because all you are doing is basically annoying him. The problem is you have spent time with this guy. This is someone you have gotten to knew over the year and it hurts knowing that he don't want anything to do with you. Because you guys have grown close together. It feels like you have lost a friend. Maybe a best friend. And that's where the hurt come in at. But instead of crying, you are acting at and its aggravating him. But he has to blame himself because that on and off relationship would drive a woman crazy. Your first mistake was entertaining him further after he said he didn't want to be in a serious relationship although that's what you wanted. The best thing to do is to let go. Don't call him and don't text him. Honey, move on! There are other people out there. If a guy don't want you, its his lost and your gain. You don't need to take him back ever again because he's just wasting your time. Some women find it hard to move on and let go. They turn into fatal attraction but no man is worth it. Just move on! The less contact, the more you'll stop thinking about him.. Block him from all social sites. Change your number if you have to. Pray and ask God to get your mind off of him. And one day, you will find yourself not worrying about him.

Thank you so much. I know I'm not psycho. It hurts that he doesn't even think that I'm just going crazy because I'm hurt. This guy meant a lot to me, and clearly the feelings were not reciprocated. If you guys are interested, I have previous posts about him. I know I have to stop contacting him, but it hurts me so much that he wants nothing to do with me all because of the way I acted. I wouldn't give him enough space when he asked. I didn't feel there was a need for space. This guy treated me so poorly I don't even know why I'm writing about him. I should hate him but I dont. I feel so shut out and deaded by him

[thejabberwocky]

The bottom line is he does not care about your feelings and this would never work out. I wish he cared about you and that there was some magic way to make this all okay, but there just isn't.

 

The good news is that you will heal and move on from this. Breakups (and this absolutely counts as a breakup, even if you weren't in a relationship, because it feels that way to you) are really hard but then you get over it. You know what you don't get over? Being disappointed every time the man you love disrespects you. That hurts every single time, worse and worse. Get out now and you will only feel this pain once.

 

NC is hard at first but it is the fastest way to recovery. Remember this: if it weren't for him, you two could be together and happy. It is not you and him versus the world, HE is against YOU. He is the only reason this didn't work out, because he didn't want it to. And that means he does not deserve anymore of your time or attention.

[Sweetescape910]

The bottom line is he does not care about your feelings and this would never work out. I wish he cared about you and that there was some magic way to make this all okay, but there just isn't.

 

The good news is that you will heal and move on from this. Breakups (and this absolutely counts as a breakup, even if you weren't in a relationship, because it feels that way to you) are really hard but then you get over it. You know what you don't get over? Being disappointed every time the man you love disrespects you. That hurts every single time, worse and worse. Get out now and you will only feel this pain once.

 

NC is hard at first but it is the fastest way to recovery. Remember this: if it weren't for him, you two could be together and happy. It is not you and him versus the world, HE is against YOU. He is the only reason this didn't work out, because he didn't want it to. And that means he does not deserve anymore of your time or attention.

you're right. I should have let it go instead of annoying him and asking him questions. He doesn't care about me and he hasn't for a while and that's what hurts. I feel as if he is against me. He told me if he didn't care he wouldn't pay for the tickets. I have to see him in person to give the tickets. Do I say anything? I feel like every time I searched for closure I just ended up feeling worse. I wish he would talk to me about it in person. I feel so ugly to him. It would have been way easier for me to move on if he actually sat me down and talked to me about this. Instead he avoided me as much as he could. He even blocked my number because I got so annoying. Should I ask him in person if he cares? I feel like I'm going nut house crazy...

[thejabberwocky]

Honey, forget the tickets. Do not ask him anything. He does not care. He can tell you whatever he wants, his actions prove that he does not care. You will not get closure by talking to him. The only way for you to move on is to stop communicating and get your feelings straightened out.