mortensorchid Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 I am a very social person, I have lots of friends from all different places and groups within my city. And I never meet someone who is interested in me enough to date. I've done just about all possible means - online, having lots of friends, bars, parties, work, etc. What's the problem? I meet lots of duds, guys who either have nothing going for them or who are not interested in me. They go for some trashy girl or some virginal twink who provides nothing but dramatics or who cater to their needs. I am neither one of those. I've seen many types and had many experiences, and I'm 40. Anyone else feel the same way or experienced these feelings? I don't want to give up, I think I am too young to just throw in the towel and say never again.
LilaMarie Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Could it be that maybe someone is interested but you don't think they are flirting with you? Do you smile often at guys? Do you flirt? Maybe you should ask your friends as they know you and can give you better advice. But don't ever 'give up'. Sometimes when you least expect it, it happens. Good luck
Ami1uwant Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 I think there is something more going on here... As the other poster said above..are you sure the guys weren't flirting with you? Maybe your body language is saying don't bother. At your age of 40 it can be harder. Part of the reason is guys who are also single at your age tend yo be shooting for the 30-35 yr olds because they are still young looking. Then this skews who you could date to guys 45-50 who are also interested in you.
StalwartMind Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Way too young to give up, I'm fairly positive that sometimes it can take what seems like forever to actually have someone cross your path who just click with you. Regardless of all the differences us humans may have, and the complications it bring with trying to find someone who we find decent, it would just be illogical to give up without having met even more people. It doesn't matter if it's a friend or partner you are looking for, when it comes to finding something you are truly connected with it can be quite a journey. Regardless of what your preferences or requirements are, I doubt they are more unrealistic than what most other people expect of what they seek. Naturally you are free to think or do as you please, but it just sort of seems like a potential waste of a good person to give up, without having truly exhausted all of your opportunities. As Thomas Edison said “When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this - you haven't.” I do understand when you reach a certain point and have gone through so much it can seem demotivating to keep trying. There is always something you can do different, but often our own mind is the limit to how we approach things. Everyone have something to offer, sure it can seem like we are competing against a lot of others at times, but again all it takes is for you to capture the attention of one person, and if you are someone who does invest everything into what you do, then it's just a matter of time before you do run into someone who will notice your qualities. 1
Author mortensorchid Posted September 10, 2015 Author Posted September 10, 2015 I still look like I am in my twenties, save for a few stray grey hairs here and there. I can still fit into my high school uniform, dare I say that I am Desperate Housewives material. I have been in situations where guys are flirting, I smile back at them and chat, but they never ask for my phone number or anything. I'll just have to try harder then.
shet Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 I can still fit into my high school uniform That's a good pickup line all on its own 1
Buddhist Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Anyone else feel the same way or experienced these feelings? I don't want to give up, I think I am too young to just throw in the towel and say never again. Well I meet one about twice a decade and that's been my batting average my entire life. Lucky me it suits me that way though. I don't go looking, I seem to just run into them when the timing's right. The thing is, if they're going for the average girl then they're the average guy. Are you looking for that? Are you looking for a bleh average relationship? Quality isn't on every street corner and it's also not perpetually single (usually). Be the person you'd like to date then let the universe take care of the rest. I've never met a single parter during a social outing. They've all been happenstances that occured in the normal course of my life.
Buddhist Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 I still look like I am in my twenties, save for a few stray grey hairs here and there. I can still fit into my high school uniform, dare I say that I am Desperate Housewives material. I have been in situations where guys are flirting, I smile back at them and chat, but they never ask for my phone number or anything. I'll just have to try harder then. Or just realise that if you are older than them and good looking, it's intimidating and you're going to have to offer the olive branch. You're a grown woman, not a girl, people expect you to act like you know what you want.
Toodaloo Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Be the person you'd like to date then let the universe take care of the rest. Highlighting this. There is a plathora of really fantastic single guys out there of all ages. The trick is to find one that suits you. So what better than to be the person you want to date. If you want someone fit and into sports get fit and get into sports. Carry on with talking to people wherever and when ever you meet them. Be it on line, in a line or getting in line!
jen1447 Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Are you 'scary' at all? Sometimes guys can be easily intimidated and we have to go out of our way - big goofy smiles and all that - to make sure they get that it's ok to press up on us.
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