Divorced women with kids can easily lock a guy down vs single women with no kids?

[casey.lives]

Yes, men prefer a woman with children. I have noticed. And woman are kinder to other woman with kids too... so is the government and society.

[thefooloftheyear]

I found this amusing. What someone drives and kids are not even in the same universe.

 

I have my own car so I am not "stuck" with theirs for the rest of their life. If their car needs work or breaks down they can drop it off at a repair shop, sell it and take the bus or get a new one. You can't do that with kids.

 

I do not want kids which is why I do not have any. Why on earth would I waste my time or theirs by dating someone with kids? That is not something I need to go figure out just like I am 100% sure I do not want to date someone who has a substance abuse problem, fat, someone I am not attracted too, a Kardashian or someone who is asexual, etc.

 

The only amusing thing is you completely missed the point....*whoosh*...right over your head....

 

Its got nothing to do with comparisons.....

 

Its about making an initial judgement about someone without the luxury of knowing every detail or reasons for what they do..

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

Uhhh... Well you are the one who gave a comparison. Women who judge men by the type of car they drive and men who judge women on whether they are divorced with kids.

 

"Baggage" is subjective, not all of us use it as a derogatory term, doesn't mean we believe all people with it are bad human beings or that their "baggage" is bad or even an issue.

 

If I met a woman who had 50k in student loans, I would consider that "baggage". She could be a dential assistant, lawyer, own a business, graphic artist or just starting her career. For me, this wouldn't affect my decision on whether I continue to date them or not.

 

If I met a woman from a bad / dsyfunctional family I would consider this "baggage". Depending on the women and if there are lot of negative effects that impact me / us, what type of bad / dsyfunctional it is, her involvement with her family is, etc. it would weigh in my decision on whether I continue to date her or not.

 

I have dated women whom I later found out had children. To me, I thought they had "baggage" but I didn't think she was a bad person or something was wrong with her. In fact, I thought every one of them was intelligent, kind, thoughtful, engaging, had a lot to offer, etc. I simply do no want kids, do not want the whole instant dad thing, deal with baby sitters, go to Disney World, attend PTA meetings / soccer games, etc. had we entered into a relationship or more.

 

My father was a widow at 43 with 5 kids. He met women who didn't want to date a guy with 5 kids and some who didn't want to date a guy with any. Even though I am sure many thought he was a great guy, father, successful business man, honest, trustworthy, etc. they didn't want to deal with that "baggage" (widower with 5 kids) at the age of 30 or whatever. He still met and dated women who didn't mind his "baggage" and has been married 25+ years to someone who happened to have 1 kid of her own and divorced.

 

 

 

I am pretty sure we are quibbling over the word "baggage" and how it's used. If that isn't the case, you are guilty of doing what you suggest we not do.

 

Guys who do like / want kids and will not date women who have because of the "baggage" does not make them knuckle dragging mouth breathing jerks. It's just a perference no different than not wanting to date someone who weighs 300 pounds, a different religion, smoker, etc.

 

Again.....read carefully.....

 

You WILL know right off the bat that a woman was married/divorced and has kids or not...How do you possibly date a woman, then find out later(as you say) that they have kids.?? I couldn't conceivably imagine that scenario...That's something someone wont just "spring" on another person...You know it right away...

 

Other stuff like what their family make up is, how much debt that they have, etc..all come with time...You wouldn't expect to know those things at first glance/meeting.....And that stuff is less of an issue anyway, because you dont have to live with their family and debts have solutions..

 

TFY

[autumnnight]

Well, I guess single moms must know how to please a man. I remember there was this 24 year old bank teller that my mom introduced me too, he told her that he dated a girl with 2 kids. The guy and I exchanged numbers, but it never went anywhere-it was clear he wasn't interested in me. Maybe because I didn't have much to offer. The fact that he was a 24 year old guy and was with a chick with 2 kids, I might need to pop out a kid to attract more men or something.

 

Have you always been this bitter? That is probably more of a problem than the kid thing, honestly.