Jackiejolie Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 My partner and I are having some time apart. He has some personal issues to deal with regarding his past etc and feels he can only do this outside of a relationship. He was distant with me due to this being on his mind and I think he was feeling depressed. We have agreed to take some time apart, he is going to seek some therapy and I will work on improving myself and my anxieties. My question is, has anyone for whatever reason got back together with a partner after No Contact and salvaged the relationship? Had this time apart been a positive thing? Also, how long were you apart? Many thanks, I'm new here and any advice is appreciated.
WhatYouWantToHear Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 No Contact isn't a step in salvaging a relationship. No Contact is a trick you play on yourself to help get over a relationship. My advice is to start getting over this relationship. Search this forum for "taking a break", you will not find many with a happy ending.
Friggia Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 The answer is no. My ex-boyfriend was very depressed and we agreed to take a no-contact period of four months. It was him at first who was wary of this idea... I initially suggested a year and he negotiated it down to four months. We agreed on a day to re-contact each other. Fast forward to the supposed day of re-contact. Not a single word from him, expressed surprise that he then heard from me. As if we had never agreed to re-contact and he'd be just fine never hearing from me again. Turns out, during that period he'd started taking depression meds for the first time in his life. I believe that those meds sort of "re-wired" his attitude toward me and caused him to let go in my absence big time. I would recommend that you just try and move on with your life. If he really wants to get back in touch, then he will, but the effort has to come from the person who cares less. 1
Satu Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 NC won't make someone want you if they don't. It won't make them think or feel what you want them to. It's a tool for getting over a breakup. Having said that, you're free to use it in any way you like.
ScienceGal Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 I got back with an ex after over a year of NC. I had completely let go and moved on though. He reached out and we started talking. Then we dated for 6 months before we decided it wasn't working.. So it ended for a second time. Usually, you have enough information from the first go 'round, I did. I hoped it would be different, and it was, but only a little. We fell back into the same routine. Be smart and let go. Deal with specific future events if and when they get here.
thejabberwocky Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 My partner and I are having some time apart. He has some personal issues to deal with regarding his past etc and feels he can only do this outside of a relationship. He was distant with me due to this being on his mind and I think he was feeling depressed. We have agreed to take some time apart, he is going to seek some therapy and I will work on improving myself and my anxieties. My question is, has anyone for whatever reason got back together with a partner after No Contact and salvaged the relationship? Had this time apart been a positive thing? Also, how long were you apart? Many thanks, I'm new here and any advice is appreciated. I think NC can definitely make a relationship stronger. It allows you both to get a more realistic outlook on the relationship. It's hard to see something clearly when you're so close and emotionally invested. This can go one of two ways. Either you step away and realize the relationship is toxic or you realize that it's the best thing for you and you can't live without it. We just broke up for good, so I don't know if this advice is very helpful, but when I first met my Ex we dated for about 9 months without having a title. After that long, I started feeling insecure about our lack of official exclusivity, even though I knew he wasn't seeing anyone else. I told him that he should be proud to call me his girlfriend and if he wasn't, I'd find someone else who was. I went on NC for almost a month. My thought was that he'd see how great our relationship is and appreciate me. After a week he was calling me begging me to be his Gf but I stayed strong bc I wanted to make sure he really wanted it. When the month was almost up, he actually sat outside my college dorm for hours until I came home and asked me to please be in a relationship with him. I said I would have to think about it. Eventually I agreed and we dated for six years. So yes, NC definitely improved our relationship. However, he developed a closeted drug addiction about two years ago. I found out a year ago and he got sober. And 3 weeks ago I discovered he was still using drugs and lying about it, so I broke it off and haven't talked to him since. Sorry it isn't a happy ending for you, but the drug addiction had nothing to do with me or the beginnings of our relationship. As I said, there are two ways NC can go. The first time I used it so he could get perspective on how great our relationship is. This time I'm using it to emotionally detach myself from him and make moving on easier. Stay strong. If your partner is not as invested in this as you are, better know now than waste anymore time. NC will only be positive for you! It will either make him appreciate your relationship or it will give you a head start in moving on. Good luck!
dumbass2 Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Let it go. Absolutely best advice possible. It's not easy, but in the end....it is the best for you.
giblesp Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 It will help you enter into a better relationship with yourself, and that's what will enable you to have a better relationship with another person, on all levels.
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