Chr15 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Do guys like when women plan/suggest a date? I find dates are generally the usual going for a drink/going for coffee/cinema/meal at the beginning. I'd love to do something different instead of these usuals. Cinema and a meal are terrible dates at the beginning of dating anyway. I'd love a guy to suggest going to a museum or a gallery, going bowling, going to the zoo, going for a walk - anything a little different. I can however totally appreciate why a guy might be reluctant to suggest something like this, as not all women would be into that type of date. And it's for the same reason that I wonder what a guy would think if I suggested one of these options? How do you think a guy (or how would you) feel about a girl suggesting something like this if you asked her 'any ideas for the date'? I know I should just do it (I have done a few times, but only when I knew the guy really liked me so wouldn't mind what we did) but is it better to stick with the usuals at the beginning or to suggest something else?
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Do guys like when women plan/suggest a date? I find dates are generally the usual going for a drink/going for coffee/cinema/meal at the beginning. I'd love to do something different instead of these usuals. Cinema and a meal are terrible dates at the beginning of dating anyway. I'd love a guy to suggest going to a museum or a gallery, going bowling, going to the zoo, going for a walk - anything a little different. I can however totally appreciate why a guy might be reluctant to suggest something like this, as not all women would be into that type of date. And it's for the same reason that I wonder what a guy would think if I suggested one of these options? How do you think a guy (or how would you) feel about a girl suggesting something like this if you asked her 'any ideas for the date'? I know I should just do it (I have done a few times, but only when I knew the guy really liked me so wouldn't mind what we did) but is it better to stick with the usuals at the beginning or to suggest something else? My advice for date picking is do what you like to do, That way, if it's a bad date, you got to still do something fun too! But really, the activity itself is a facade for the interview taking place, So pick something that's fun, not stressful, and remember it isn't a race! For first meetings, stick with something quick! A coffee, or lunch, or something you can quit! Don't get stuck in a bad date because you planned for a 4 hour excursion, Followup the quick date with something else if things go well, a more romantic version! 1
Maggie4 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 The advantage of going for coffee or drink on a first date, is that it can be short, as short as 20 minutes. An outing like zoo or museum is several hours of commitment with a new person. On the other hand, if you've already established common interests, then why not do it, since it's something you enjoy by yourself anyway. 1
losangelena Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Why do you think men would mind this? I found that guys were open to date suggestions; it takes the pressure off them to always have to come up with something. If a guy is really going to have a problem with you making date idea suggestions, is that someone you really want to go out with?
Author Chr15 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Posted September 9, 2015 Oh yes, I always do drinks for a first date incase it goes terribly or one of us just isn't that interested. Sorry, in my head I was thinking more second and third dates. Also, it's not even that I necessarily enjoy these things, or that he does, it's just that it's something different, and even if the activity is awful is something that you can joke about. Thanks for posts so far
Siquijor Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Meal - Too heavy for a first date Cinema - Not a good place for a first date. Can't talk and it's dark. Museum/Gallery - Not for me but it might appeal to those who are interested in that kind of thing. Zoo - Might give it a go. Not for everyone though. Walk in the park - Again, not on a first date. Actually, I'd be surprised for a woman to suggest this. Coffee - Just doesn't seem the right environment IMO Bowling - I think it's a good idea
gaius Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I'm always open to ideas and suggestions from my girlfriend but I do enjoy doing the overall planning. If you've been on so many dinner and movie first dates that you're bored of them you're probably going on too many first dates though. Talk to the guy a little longer before you meet up and you should get a better feel if it's going to bomb or not. Because dinner and a movie really is just about the best way to go.
Jj66 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I don't have any problem with a woman suggesting date ideas. At least if we do that I know she will enjoy it. I also don't do cinema type dates early on when I need to be talking to someone. Some things I've done on recent 2nd and 3rd dates: hiking, skating, standup comedy, live music, dancing, 1
nyah Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 My opinion is if it's a first date, do something casual. Drinks and a light meal (no where expensive though. Keep it relaxed and easy ) get to know each others interests, hobbies and most importantly get to know the person himself/herself in an uncommited relaxed environment. If it goes pear shaped and your common interests, aspirations don't match, you can part your ways quickly and easily as friends. You don't want to be stuck on an awkward date at a zoo for hours if you don't match. Further dates...definitely step it up. I'm definitely a big planner and so is my partner...but nothing feels forced. We know each others interests and what is out of our comfort zone. It never has to be an extravegently planned date though. Just do what is comfortable and brings a smile to his/hers face even if it's simple. Tonight, I'm seeing my man and I'm cooking and bringing movies and sexy lingerie over, other nights we go camping, jet skiing, riding, a lot of beach time, climbing and sometimes a great restaurant. But as I said before, get to know the person first in a very relaxed environment over drinks and see what common interests you have. Don't over think things x
joseb Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Sounds like the OP means second + dates, not first. Yes, suggest these. I think most guys would be receptive to the idea.
Ami1uwant Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 This about latter dates.... I want the women I date to suggest things to do. This was something that bothered me with my last relationship. I wanted her to have planned ideas and suggest things. I was getting duck of always having yo suggest things.
RecentChange Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Huh - as a female I never thought that it wasn't "okay" to make date plans! Back when I was dating - I lived in a gorgeous beach town, favorite outings for not first, but early dates included heading down to the beach board walk, walk along the shore / ride the roller coaster. A drive down the craggy coast to get oysters and a cocktail at a shore side place. Back road day trips - drive up in the mountains and see what we find. Thinking back - I guess I like "movement" - I enjoy talking while driving down a country road, or while walking along the coast or a trail. Can't stand "movie dates" - I am not a movie or TV person anyway, but sitting quietly in a dark theater for hours seems like a perfect way to NOT to get to know someone!
TouchedByViolet Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Guys enjoy ideas from the ladies. Mostly because women often want guys to make the vast majority of decisions and that gets old. Tell your guys what you want to do. The compatible ones will take you up on the offer. Easy.
craw Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Meal - Too heavy for a first date What does that mean?
Author Chr15 Posted September 10, 2015 Author Posted September 10, 2015 Thank you all. Good to know guys appreciate some input. I know there shouldn't be any problem with suggesting these ideas, but I guess I don't feel confident doing it incase it's something the guy doesn't want to do. But I suppose if he was unwilling to try something different maybe he's not the one for me anyway. This question was more in general about dating, but it just happened that the guy I like just suggested he borrow a friend's dog and we take it for a walk as a second date. Fingers crossed it works out
d0nnivain Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 I'm a woman & a control freak. I know that about myself. By the 2nd - 3rd date if I want to do something that I think sounds fun, I will suggest it & PAY for it. The 2nd part is key because if you say I would like to do X & your wallet doesn't come out, you look like a gold-digging freeloader & I don't know any man who wants that in his life. 2
Author Chr15 Posted September 10, 2015 Author Posted September 10, 2015 By the 2nd - 3rd date if I want to do something that I think sounds fun, I will suggest it & PAY for it. The 2nd part is key because if you say I would like to do X & your wallet doesn't come out, you look like a gold-digging freeloader & I don't know any man who wants that in his life. Good point! I'd always offer to pay anyway, but good to consider this from his point of view 1
BlueBlood Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 (edited) I always found it good to say something like "oh wow, this movie is coming out soon and it looks good", or "I've always heard good things about that hiking trail/park/bar/etc" and I was always genuine about it. I suggested things lightly and things that I knew would enhance my pleasure and enjoyment. Things I really wanted to see and do. That way my date ideas let my date get a glimpse of what makes me tick, and I wasn't leaving him always having to think up ideas with no input. I still do this today, after many years of marriage, every week night we eat dinner together just us two. It's our time, no work or distractions. Weekends are for big family meals and get togethers, but Monday through Thursday are ours. So I might say "I'm so craving ceviche! How about you?" And another night I might remind him of a favorite recipe we haven't made together in awhile. Other times he surprises me. It's our dinner date ritual, and it's special to me because I really like dating my husband. Edited September 10, 2015 by BlueBlood 1
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