j_mysterio Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 About every other time my girlfriend and I have sex she brings up a threesome with another girl. She says shes curious but whats holding her back from doing it is insecurities with her breast size and herself basicaly, for the fact I might become interested with the other girl. I have not once brought it up and I'm unsure if I feel comfortable with it. Yes, fantasy wise... it sounds awesome but to actually do it is a different story. I'm having a hard time telling if this is just a fantasy with her or something she'd like to pursue... she keeps bringing it up... I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say or do. I just texted her and asked her if she thinks it's just a fantasy, she hasn't responded yet. Also, it kinda brings an insecurity up with me that maybe I'm not cutting it in the bedroom department... since she says something every other time.... idk. I'm above average downstairs and the only complaint I've had from her is that I dont "show enough emotion" or make sounds when having sex. I do... just not as much as she'd like I guess. We have gotten very personal on our likes and dislikes and have been very open. I'm just looking for some outside input... thanks for reading my boring/annoying story.
Author j_mysterio Posted September 9, 2015 Author Posted September 9, 2015 Also, this might be too much information... but when having sex my girlfriend Wil say things like "I want to you ****ing her doggy style while she licks my pussy" and "I want me and her sucking your dick at the same time". It's just confusing and bothering me I guess.
ChicagoSparty Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I guess I'm not sure what the problem is here. 6
Author j_mysterio Posted September 9, 2015 Author Posted September 9, 2015 I knew I'd get that response... I'm just wondering if there's a psychological perspective on this.... or what... idk what I'm looking for... enlightenment I guess
pteromom Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Also, this might be too much information... but when having sex my girlfriend Wil say things like "I want to you ****ing her doggy style while she licks my pussy" and "I want me and her sucking your dick at the same time". It's just confusing and bothering me I guess. Go with this fantasy talk. It's a turn on for her to imagine it, and she's letting you in on her fantasy, so great for her and for you. But to actually do it? Hmm. You say your gf is already insecure, so there is just no way that doing it is going to go well. If the girl has bigger breasts, or if you show any interest in her whatsoever, it's going to be BAD. I guess if you are able to do it and just pay 100% attention to your gf, and let the two girls be together without showing attention to the other girl at all... maybe. But I would just assume it is a fantasy and let it be that, without going forward with anything else.
central Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 If you're not comfortable with it, don't do it. Don't let her pressure you. It's something she wants, probably because she is bi and not wanting to give up women completely. I would discuss that aspect with her, as her desires may well influence the course and success of your relationship. That said, threesomes like she describes can be tremendous fun if you go in with the right attitude and minimal - but clear - boundaries. However, once you open that door, she may want more - and if you don't come to want more as well, that will be a problem.
kendahke Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I don't recommend doing 3somes unless all 3 parties are emotionally not invested in one another. If you were 3 strangers and weren't in any romantic, committed relationship with one another, I'd say go for it. But this has the potential to not turn out well, especially if you and she are not crystal clear on the reason why you need to introduce a 3rd party into your bed. Is she bi and this is her way of working that angle into your relationship so she can move between the two of you? If you're not sure, then don't do it. If your girlfriend keeps pestering you to do it, you need to get clear from her why she needs to do it so badly and will your relationship deteriorate if you either do or don't do it. 2
losangelena Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Ix-nay on the eesome-thray. Just don't go there, OP. Not unless it's something you both want to do together. I think my BF and I would feel SUPER insecure bringing someone else in, and maybe it's be fun in the moment, but it would probably open a Pandora's box of problems. Tread lightly. 2
Author j_mysterio Posted September 9, 2015 Author Posted September 9, 2015 She is 25... has never been with a girl and has said multiple times something along the lines of "I've been alive 25 years and have never had any interest in girls but for some reason now, I'm curious" She already knows I would never want to do a Threesome with another guy. I've made that clear.
jen1447 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 If you do it, the safest route is to let your GF be the middle (F-F-M. That's her as the middle F.) That means you have sex w/your GF and the other girl has sex with your GF, but you and the other girl don't. That'll keep your GF from getting jealous about what you're doing w/the other girl. The real best way is if you're just a spectator, but it sounds like your GF at least wants you involved on the surface. If it went well that way, you could then experiment with getting involved with the other girl a little more if your GF was comfortable. If you don't want to do it at all yourself, then don't. 2
scooby-philly Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Sounds like you got the making of a great detective story. Seriously - a number of reasons immediately pop up - all of which seem valid and many of which the previous posters and you already mentioned.... <> She's honestly bi <> She's tired of you in the bedroom <> She's addicted to fantasy and can't get off that well in real-life <> She's trying to gauge your reaction <> She's just opening up and can't shake the thought ....... That all said - don't ever do something you don't want. If it's a test of some kind she's playing on you you may fail even though you have no real interest. Only you can judge what you're comfortable with I would do a threesome with a GF - but she'd pick the girl. I'd follow the one poster's advice and at least the first 1,2,3 times not do much to the other girl... If you're open to trying and she's not playing you...stop talking about it - go out to a club or bar on the weekend and let her pick someone up....otherwise it just stays awkward in between you......
Ruby Slippers Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 If you do it, the safest route is to let your GF be the middle (F-F-M. That's her as the middle F.) That means you have sex w/your GF and the other girl has sex with your GF, but you and the other girl don't. That'll keep your GF from getting jealous about what you're doing w/the other girl. The real best way is if you're just a spectator, but it sounds like your GF at least wants you involved on the surface. If it went well that way, you could then experiment with getting involved with the other girl a little more if your GF was comfortable. If you don't want to do it at all yourself, then don't. I think this is the perfect answer. If you're not comfortable with this, then don't do it. I've discussed some wild fantasies with boyfriends before, but neither of us wanted to take the risk of acting on them. Unless both people are curious and excited about it, I'd say it's best left as a hot fantasy - nothing wrong with that. As for a psychological perspective, some people like more experimental sex than others. You could theorize about underlying issues, but I'd say the more important question to ponder is whether you are also drawn to this type of experiment in bed, or not. If you're not, listen to your intuition, because it's there for a good reason. If you are, be very open and communicative about the matter.
Winterina Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 If you do it, the safest route is to let your GF be the middle (F-F-M. That's her as the middle F.) That means you have sex w/your GF and the other girl has sex with your GF, but you and the other girl don't. That'll keep your GF from getting jealous about what you're doing w/the other girl. The real best way is if you're just a spectator, but it sounds like your GF at least wants you involved on the surface. If it went well that way, you could then experiment with getting involved with the other girl a little more if your GF was comfortable. If you don't want to do it at all yourself, then don't. Awesome advice... except for if she actually really likes it and wants more and more. There is kicking it out of her system possibility OR getting hooked on it. Here is how to get your girl to never want it again. Do exactly the opposite of what Jen said. Focus on doing the other girl and your gf will get over it even before its over.
TouchedByViolet Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Also, this might be too much information... but when having sex my girlfriend Wil say things like "I want to you ****ing her doggy style while she licks my pussy" and "I want me and her sucking your dick at the same time". It's just confusing and bothering me I guess. Here is all the enlightenment you need... Your girl friend is going to have a threesome (whether you want it or not). Her sexual needs/curiosity have not been met. If not with you she will break up and/or cheat to do it. She wants to experience it. Will you be a part of that? If I were you I would think long and hard about allowing that opportunity to pass. Life is worth living. Don't **** it up. 1
bubbaganoosh Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 If you do it, the safest route is to let your GF be the middle (F-F-M. That's her as the middle F.) That means you have sex w/your GF and the other girl has sex with your GF, but you and the other girl don't. That'll keep your GF from getting jealous about what you're doing w/the other girl. The real best way is if you're just a spectator, but it sounds like your GF at least wants you involved on the surface. If it went well that way, you could then experiment with getting involved with the other girl a little more if your GF was comfortable. If you don't want to do it at all yourself, then don't. I see your point but in reality isn't that a one sided deal though? She gets to experience being with a new partner and he doesn't get the same. If she wants to bring another woman in to bed with them, then she has to accept the fact that there would be interaction between her boyfriend and the other girl and if she gets jealous then she should have thought about that before she invited the third person.
Jules Dash Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Here is all the enlightenment you need... Your girl friend is going to have a threesome (whether you want it or not). Her sexual needs/curiosity have not been met. If not with you she will break up and/or cheat to do it. She wants to experience it. Will you be a part of that? If I were you I would think long and hard about allowing that opportunity to pass. Life is worth living. Don't **** it up. If she is thinking about it this much, she will likely find a way to satisfy her curiosity/desire. I have had two in my life time and was offered one in between the other two and turned it down. Til this day I still sort of kick myself in the butt for turning it down even though I no longer have the desire for a a threesome but just knowing that I was into them then but turned it down causes regret. I feel confident that you will regret turning it down in the future if you do. Many, many men never get the opportunity. But I am getting old so maybe times have changed and threesomes are being handed out like flyers these days.
giblesp Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 About every other time my girlfriend and I have sex she brings up a threesome with another girl. She says shes curious but whats holding her back from doing it is insecurities with her breast size and herself basicaly, for the fact I might become interested with the other girl. I have not once brought it up and I'm unsure if I feel comfortable with it. Yes, fantasy wise... it sounds awesome but to actually do it is a different story. I'm having a hard time telling if this is just a fantasy with her or something she'd like to pursue... she keeps bringing it up... I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say or do. I just texted her and asked her if she thinks it's just a fantasy, she hasn't responded yet. Also, it kinda brings an insecurity up with me that maybe I'm not cutting it in the bedroom department... since she says something every other time.... idk. I'm above average downstairs and the only complaint I've had from her is that I dont "show enough emotion" or make sounds when having sex. I do... just not as much as she'd like I guess. We have gotten very personal on our likes and dislikes and have been very open. I'm just looking for some outside input... thanks for reading my boring/annoying story. If your looking for an exclusive, committed relationship then this isn't your girl. She wants to have sex with other people. If it rocks your boat, have her as a casual girlfriend and enjoy threesomes. Bear in mind that it will probably become her having sex with other people when you're not around and will also probably be other men, though she might promise you at this point its not the case. Reason being, once other people become involved its a bottom less pit of no return. Don't give your heart to this one.
Noideanow Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 This is very serious, i can understand why you come here with your concerns- i dont think you can ever satisfie your girlfriend or make her fall in love with you like a straight woman can love a man:( imagine yourself (assuming youre straight) with another man, thats the way she feels with you--( sorry if i provoke but i cant help it:cool:
jen1447 Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 I see your point but in reality isn't that a one sided deal though? She gets to experience being with a new partner and he doesn't get the same. If she wants to bring another woman in to bed with them, then she has to accept the fact that there would be interaction between her boyfriend and the other girl and if she gets jealous then she should have thought about that before she invited the third person. It all depends on what the players think and feel. It's not a matter of law so there are no doctrines or obligations to 'fairness' in a relationship unless the participants choose them as their modus oprandi. That aside, I'd suggest that OP is in a better position to 'sacrifice' so to speak, being as this is his GF's fantasy. He's not really doing without if it's not sth he particularly wants anyway.
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