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Absurd love affair with a "salty seadog".


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Posted

No, most likely you'd need to stay in America and raise them, unless he dies or allows you to take them to your country.

Posted

You're young and beautiful OP - really no reason to deliberately narrow your prospects. :)

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Posted

Do you feel like falling in love with someone out of the ordinary is narrowing my prospects?

 

these days I am more concerned about my mother's complaints. She is worried for me more because of the status than his age. She thinks he is rude and socially unacceptable, that's what makes her most angry. I can't really see how you find someone worse to another due to his background and sources of income; I usually judge thinking about different qualities.

Posted
Do you feel like falling in love with someone out of the ordinary is narrowing my prospects?

 

these days I am more concerned about my mother's complaints. She is worried for me more because of the status than his age. She thinks he is rude and socially unacceptable, that's what makes her most angry. I can't really see how you find someone worse to another due to his background and sources of income; I usually judge thinking about different qualities.

 

Are you actually in love w/him? I get the feeling what's happened here is that you've had limited exposure to men, some (most?) of it negative from those in your age group, and now you've been swept off your feet by someone different.

 

If you genuinely love the guy, fine, but I'm pretty sure you could find men closer to your age (and without all the future problems detailed above) who aren't bad for you if you got out there a little more and fine-tuned your man picker. :)

Posted
my main problem is that moving in with him for me would mean I'd plan a family. I'd like to be a young mother possibly, so one of my fears is what if I decide to have children and something does not work? Can I bring my american kids back at my home? This is what worries me most probably.

 

This, I will STRONGLY advise against.

 

Don't even think about having children with him until you have lived with him for at least a year, and then until he has married you. Even then, don't have children until you are familiar with all your rights and the laws as far as marriage, divorce, and custody where he lives.

 

Does he even want kids? It seems like his lifestyle is not compatible with parenting.

 

I have no issues with his lack of education. He's lived a unique life and I bet he has a lot of knowledge that entitled kids in college could not even fathom.

Posted

I would start slower than planning to uproot my life and move to another country to be with someone. Before committing to move in with him, I would plan a trip back to the area to spend time with him. Go and see if the spark is still there. Do you get the sense that he is as invested in this as you are? Is he still calling, texting, and or emailing you? Or are you the one constantly putting in more effort? If you are the one making most of the effort, I would be very wary.

Posted

I say go for it. It probably won't last forever anyways, but it could be a very rewarding experience for you. Follow your heart, YOLO & all that. Don't worry about your parents & an US paperwork. You're young, they'll get over it. You can always find jobs that pay cash under the table. Remember that the fun of the voyage is not destination, but the voyage it's self.

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