Absurd love affair with a "salty seadog".

[M1402]

Don't know where to start... I'm here because I didn't know who I could talk to. I never wrote on a message board, but this situation is so different from what I'm used to I feel like it takes uninterested advices from strangers to make me think better.

 

I'm 24 and I come from a social environment where education and money are important matters and least but not last, honestly I know I look very pretty. This for me always meant I could walk into a room and be noticed by many, and it is a reason of pride especially for my mother. This always made her think I am the best thing she has done and always tried to push me to be ambitious, in marriage also.

I'm latina based in the south of France right now, living with both my parents. They run a holiday house rentals business, I have an interior design degree and I use to help them.

 

This summer I had a one month holiday in the U.S. east coast with my cousin, she is married to a guy whose family owns a cottage there. So I met this blue eyed salty seaman, I immediately liked him, despite the age difference between us (he's 52) and his initial coarseness. Probably he liked me too from the beginning. He's a charterboat captain among his activities (he is sailor, fisherman, runs a small oil/alcoholic business also, he is the boss of himself) so for me it was not hard to get the chance to know him better, I found an excuse to get on his boat, we chatted and surprisingly he asked me out. He is so different from anyone I know. He's crusty, genuinely macho, with a rugged exterior but a wealth of wisecracks, he may have this intimidating surly demeanor, this "my way or no way" truculence at the beginning, but I knew him better and felt how intense, amazing and brave he is. He's a guy who has seen some **** (sorry for this word), he is a man definitely used to work and hardship, he is battered but not beaten, he's just tough as hell. We have been going out for several weeks until I had to come back home, I had the best time with him, we've been sailing, he showed me a part of him none could imagine (buying flowers, taking me out to dinner, and at the end of my journey he told me that I could move to his place and take care of each other), I cooked for him, he took me out to sea teaching me to fish, we started acting like a couple.

He's a loner and this affair astonished many people living there. I told him I'd have planned my next stay next month and I begun trying to figure out how I could do to move and be with him.

 

I am having a hard time. I broke up with my ex last year, after I discovered he was much more interested in his money (and appearance) than he was in me. My previous ex cheated on me and after I dumped him he begged me to forgive him. My exes were all such jerks. The type of guys my family liked, socially respectable with good carreers, but they were not real men to me. Sounds like it is the first time I met one. Probably the european community does not offer much in this sense. The problem is that I love my family, I am afraid they will be mad at me when I will tell them what's happening, I won't have their support nor I will have a job easily (for two reasons, first I am not a U.S. citizen, second he is old fashioned and thinks I should be home, he as a man wants to provide). I think I'm going to feel extremely lonely and will miss my family and friends to death if I choose to move, by the way.

 

The only person I dared to share what I lived with has been my cousin for I was on vacation with her so she even met him, and unfortunately her reaction was "You nuts to believe it could go beyond a summer affair with Captain Achab". She thinks I should try to forget what happened, to put my feelings aside, that this is passion, not love, that I should use brains and that this should remain a beautiful adventure I can tell to my kids when I will have them. She says I'm going to destroy my life if I move there in his "shanty" in a foreign country and that in her opinion he will turn out to be a man no woman would want.

 

If any of you have some tips or ideas please share. I started think about the possibility something is wrong with me and I need help. Thank you!

[Zagan]

I doubt there is anything wrong with you. Why would there be, because you aren't as money oriented and materialistic as most of your family are?

You can only choose your own future and happiness, it doesn't matter what they say. And don't lose out on something you want just because the people in your life don't approve.

Maybe it wouldn't work out with this guy but you're the only person who can find that out. Make your choices wisely but don't let any body else influence you.

It might seem a weird choicr to a lot of people, but that choice isn't theirs, it's yours and yours alone.

[usernametaken]

Don't know where to start... I'm here because I didn't know who I could talk to. I never wrote on a message board, but this situation is so different from what I'm used to I feel like it takes uninterested advices from strangers to make me think better.

 

I'm 24 and I come from a social environment where education and money are important matters and least but not last, honestly I know I look very pretty. This for me always meant I could walk into a room and be noticed by many, and it is a reason of pride especially for my mother. This always made her think I am the best thing she has done and always tried to push me to be ambitious, in marriage also.

I'm latina based in the south of France right now, living with both my parents. They run a holiday house rentals business, I have an interior design degree and I use to help them.

 

This summer I had a one month holiday in the U.S. east coast with my cousin, she is married to a guy whose family owns a cottage there. So I met this blue eyed salty seaman, I immediately liked him, despite the age difference between us (he's 52) and his initial coarseness. Probably he liked me too from the beginning. He's a charterboat captain among his activities (he is sailor, fisherman, runs a small oil/alcoholic business also, he is the boss of himself) so for me it was not hard to get the chance to know him better, I found an excuse to get on his boat, we chatted and surprisingly he asked me out. He is so different from anyone I know. He's crusty, genuinely macho, with a rugged exterior but a wealth of wisecracks, he may have this intimidating surly demeanor, this "my way or no way" truculence at the beginning, but I knew him better and felt how intense, amazing and brave he is. He's a guy who has seen some **** (sorry for this word), he is a man definitely used to work and hardship, he is battered but not beaten, he's just tough as hell. We have been going out for several weeks until I had to come back home, I had the best time with him, we've been sailing, he showed me a part of him none could imagine (buying flowers, taking me out to dinner, and at the end of my journey he told me that I could move to his place and take care of each other), I cooked for him, he took me out to sea teaching me to fish, we started acting like a couple.

He's a loner and this affair astonished many people living there. I told him I'd have planned my next stay next month and I begun trying to figure out how I could do to move and be with him.

 

I am having a hard time. I broke up with my ex last year, after I discovered he was much more interested in his money (and appearance) than he was in me. My previous ex cheated on me and after I dumped him he begged me to forgive him. My exes were all such jerks. The type of guys my family liked, socially respectable with good carreers, but they were not real men to me. Sounds like it is the first time I met one. Probably the european community does not offer much in this sense. The problem is that I love my family, I am afraid they will be mad at me when I will tell them what's happening, I won't have their support nor I will have a job easily (for two reasons, first I am not a U.S. citizen, second he is old fashioned and thinks I should be home, he as a man wants to provide). I think I'm going to feel extremely lonely and will miss my family and friends to death if I choose to move, by the way.

 

The only person I dared to share what I lived with has been my cousin for I was on vacation with her so she even met him, and unfortunately her reaction was "You nuts to believe it could go beyond a summer affair with Captain Achab". She thinks I should try to forget what happened, to put my feelings aside, that this is passion, not love, that I should use brains and that this should remain a beautiful adventure I can tell to my kids when I will have them. She says I'm going to destroy my life if I move there in his "shanty" in a foreign country and that in her opinion he will turn out to be a man no woman would want.

 

If any of you have some tips or ideas please share. I started think about the possibility something is wrong with me and I need help. Thank you!

 

I completely agree with your cousin. Moreover, you're 24. He's 52. When you're 40, he'll be 68. When you're 60, he'll be dead, or close to it.

 

I think this is a great, fun story for you to have had this experience this summer. But you need to leave it there. You're from two different worlds; the age difference is staggering. You say you come from a background where intelligence and status are prized. Trust me: you would likely tire quickly of time with your rugged, manly fisherman.

 

He's good for a lark; not for a husband.

 

Go find yourself a formula one driver for your next adventure

[clam]

There's nothing absurd about it at all. I also am involved in a LTR with a "salty sea dog" of my own . (Ok, he's not really a sea dog, but he is the "land" equivalent of one!)

 

I was married to a wealthy doctor for many years. He met all the criteria for the perfect "checklist" husband -- except he was a slimy weasel. To be honest, we both settled.

 

After divorcing, I found the love of my life. He is a Harley-riding, super macho, rough around the edges (but incredibly sensitive), extremely handsome and rugged but doesn't care one whit about that, hard-working, driven, capable, and strong man. He owns his own business, but it's blue-collarish, certainly not the "properly educated" type.

 

We've been together for 5 years. I am over the moon happy. Follow your heart, don't let your family's expectations dictate YOUR life. You only get one.

 

The only potential problem I see is your age difference. My partner and I are only 4 years apart. I once dated a man who was 13 years older than me, and the age difference definitely became a factor as the relationship progressed. There will come a time when you are still relatively young, and he will be an "old man." Will this bother you? And love can be tricky with such an age gap -- no matter what, there are huge generational differences. Will it bother you if he doesn't "get" you or your generation? Will it affect your relationship?

 

The only way to find out is to try it.

[Jj66]

I find the story romantic.

 

I'm white collar on weekdays and salty on weekends and holidays. I spend a lot of time on charter boats and I definitely know the type OP is referring to.

 

I would go for it. You are young. And if it doesn't last forever, so what? Then you go on your next adventure.

 

 

When you are looking back on your life you will only regret the things you didn't do.

[M1402]

@zagan: Obviously it's just my own choice but I asked myself what to do. I know moving is an important choice and to stay in the U.S. as an illegal is not a choice, so after my permission expires he should marry me. I'd marry him tomorrow, but I know it's very soon after just one month.

 

@usernametaken: I don't understand if you think the main problem is the fact that he's too older or that he's not interested enough in me or his "surly" "grouchy" whatever personality OR that he's not rich enough. He did not study much and is working class, but as he never had expenses (he has his boat, his truck, a house more looking like a wooden lair near the port than an ordinary house, I mean he is used to living in a very simple way) he has enough to live without working. In fact he told me that if I move in with him, I should not find a job. Obviously he won't offer me the luxurious life my two exes did, but at least he is not an hypocrite lavish guy with no values.

 

@clam: So what would you do? Would you say no to a man who tells you "we'll take care of each other" just because of an age difference? I know age is not a stupid issue, but it's hard to say no when you are this involved if that is the only reason tearing you apart.

 

@jj66: Thanks for your words.

[kendahke]

Make sure before you do anything that you know like you know your name that he wants you to move to the US, wants you to live with him on his boat and wants to marry you. There should be no amount of speculating, hoping or guessing on that point. It should be a hard fact you can build the rest of your life upon.

[pteromom]

I see two red flags.

 

First is his age. A 52 year old man wanting a summer fling with a 24 year old is normal. A 52 year old man who wants a LTR with a 24 year old? You have to ask yourself why.

 

If it is because he gets to make love to a beautiful 24 year old, I can understand that... but life is about more than sex, so it concerns me that he is unable to see beyond that.

 

Life together is about merging families, paying bills, merging friends, merging interests, and growing as two EQUAL partners. Hard to do all those things with an almost 30 year age difference.

 

Not to mention the aging differences. When you are in your sexual prime at 35-40, he will likely no longer be able to have sex.

 

Second is this:

 

second he is old fashioned and thinks I should be home, he as a man wants to provide

 

MAYBE he is just old fashioned.

 

Or MAYBE he is controlling and doesn't want you to be anywhere you may meet someone else, nor make your own money so you aren't under his thumb.

 

I get the appeal of an older man. He cares for you. He takes care of you. You feel safe and secure. But there is just very little long-term potential here.

 

If you are smart, you will thank him for a beautiful summer and move on.

 

If you want to try anyway, tell him that you WILL have a job and build a career. If he fights you on it, you have to ask yourself why.

[RecentChange]

You won't be taking care if each other in old age. You will be a middle aged woman, taking care of a geriatric man.

 

Do you think you will find your sex life fulfilling when you are late 30's (when many women peak) and he is in his late 60's?

 

The age difference between you two is literally the same between my father and I.

 

I just can't imagine being attracted to any one in the senior citizens club while in my 30's.

 

And "life on the sea" is not an easy one - I am sure his face and body will show the wear and tear as he ages.

[kilgore]

You won't be taking care if each other in old age. You will be a middle aged woman, taking care of a geriatric man.

 

Do you think you will find your sex life fulfilling when you are late 30's (when many women peak) and he is in his late 60's?

 

The age difference between you two is literally the same between my father and I.

 

I just can't imagine being attracted to any one in the senior citizens club while in my 30's.

 

And "life on the sea" is not an easy one - I am sure his face and body will show the wear and tear as he ages.

The last sentence of your post is hilariously awesome

[pteromom]

I started think about the possibility something is wrong with me and I need help. Thank you!

 

Oh and there is NOTHING wrong with you. You found a real man. A man's man. A man who lives his life on his own terms.

 

That is incredibly attractive.

 

But that doesn't mean he is the man for you.

 

Nor are the silly boys your family wants for you.

 

Somewhere in the middle is the man for you. A man who knows who he is and is ready for you. A man who lives near you so you don't have to abandon the rest of your life for him. A man who is nearer your age so you can build a future and family with him.

 

This salty seadog was a teacher for you. He showed you some of what you wanted. He opened up your heart and showed you some of who you are...parts of you that you never knew.

 

He will always have a place in your heart. But he's not the one.

 

I had several of these teachers in my own young life. And I understand the pull. Nothing is wrong with you. Just don't make the wrong choice.

[RecentChange]

And just adding.... Ok he has his boat, he doesn't have much in the way of debts....

 

But what about retirement? You know they just leave us hanging in the US - and a "self employed" fisherman type is at high risk of injury, or being unable to work due to physical problems, etc etc.

[kilgore]

And just adding.... Ok he has his boat, he doesn't have much in the way of debts....

 

But what about retirement? You know they just leave us hanging in the US - and a "self employed" fisherman type is at high risk of injury, or being unable to work due to physical problems, etc etc.

 

And the fish smell

[gaius]

It's pretty rare when you find a connection with someone that makes you want to upend your own life to be with them, and you seem to have found one with this guy. So you should pursue it. Or risk regretting that you didn't the rest of your life. =/ When you're stuck sitting at home with whatever boring, milquetoast Mr. Euro your family finds socially acceptable.

 

At the very least try and stay in the US. Masculine men are in incredibly short supply over there from what I hear.

[Maggie4]

Ha ha.. this sounds soooo familiar. He is basically out of your league. So you need to find out how serious he is, before you start thinking about immigration, let alone old age! The things that are valued in your world, are not given the same value in his. And men like that are set in their ways. Usually they are the first ones who will dump the pretty young rich/educated girl for "real woman" :-( They end it first because they are pragmatic. You've challenges ahead of you, cos you'll have to adapt and prove yourself. Does he have children?

[M1402]

@pteromom: I see his age as a red flag too. No doubt about this. I am not so stupid (even if I may sound like one because I am on cloud nine...) to think it's a great deal to be engaged/married with someone thirty years older than you. It obviously is NOT. But for instance one of the persons I knew to be super in love all life long with her husband had the same age difference: she was in her twenties, he was in her fifties, they got married and had children. Once I had a very intimate conversation with her (she is 65 now) and she told me look, I am widowed since almost 10 years, and I had to forget what marriage is when I was just 50 because he was 80 and was not a real husband anymore on many levels. BUT I did not regret what I did. We loved each other like crazy and I'm thankful for the wonderful years together - don't you think it's just so romantic?

And I know there may be more "suitable" men out there for me, but if you've ever fallen in love with someone you should know how hard it could be to thank him for the adventure and move on because there are red flags in your relationship.

Oh about my sex life and future sex life... very hard to say he will soon be unable to satisfy me, because I had a total of 6 men and among these six (younger, some of them extremely fit, etc.) he is more sexually worthy than them all put together. Maybe because our typical city shrinking violets are more narcissistic and posers in bed too. I understood the difference between an intercourse and having real sex. I have always been very loose and sexloving, so more than once I thought "this guy is not a great deal" under the sheets. I've got this mix of being sexually active and wanting romance so I hardly get laid easily, but when I get laid, I have high expectations. This is why I'm like "ok, he will be old when I'll be 40, but now???". Why do you think he just wants sex from me? If he envited me to move in with him so far from my home, why should you believe he wants just a fling? Commitment is not about sex only, but it is important in my opinion. Attraction and passion are important deals and I know it very well, I was trying to put them aside to please my family once, and I made a big mistake.

 

@recentchange: Life on the sea definitely is not an easy one. I think it is this life to be as strong and healthy as a 30 year old with the experience of a 90 year old. But, and I am serious, next time I get to see him - almost 3 weeks missing - if he wants me he will have to quit doing too dangerous things. I can bear he goes fishing stripers and cods, but not that he goes after whales. It sound funny, but I know it is nothing to be too easy about. If he wants be he must accept a few limits to his courage and freedom, he can do whatever he wants but I do have some rights too.

 

@gaius: I do agree. But I think the worst supply is the one we have over south of France. First because the "chicos latinos" are just fame and no substance, second because particulary the coastline I am living on (St Tropez to Monaco) is the paradise of the rich, not really of the masculine. Probably here you can find the richest men on earth, litterally, you easily meet men throwing money at you coming from everywhere - but most of them really lack of masculinity. Nothing against wealth (I am not a left wing fanatic!) but maybe this high profile, no pain lifestyle brought them to become anything but manly. There are exceptions but the main crowd is like that and there is a terrific lack of values.

 

@maggie4: what do you mean with different given value?

Anyway, he does not have children. Three marriages one of which ended with him widowed.

[M1402]

Ah hahahah @kilgore ya know what? The only thing he does for himself (talking about personal care) is washing his teeth and two showers a day. At least we did not have smell issues. As he is and has always been very active physically, he doesn't really need to go to the gym to stay fine. I understood it is enough for a man I begun hating men who think they should care their bodies and looks as if they were vain women. That's our territory, period.

[pteromom]

It sounds like you pretty much have your mind made up, so I have one more piece of advice.

 

Keep enough money aside to get back home JUST IN CASE things do not go as you expect.

 

Hope it works out for you.

[kendahke]

I begun hating men who think they should care their bodies and looks as if they were vain women. That's our territory, period.

 

No, it's not "our" territory, period.

 

I'd rather have a man who gives a damb about his health, for which bodies and looks in better shape is a natural outcome, than one who has dogged himself out with too much booze, bad food, bad living, etc., that I'll be spending the next 30 years as his nursemaid rather than his partner.

[RecentChange]

Just some more perspective.

 

I am not hitched up with an "old man" - but a very very active younger man who participates in dangerous sports.

 

I have nursed him through the knee surgeries, the ER visits, the broken back.

 

Being a care giver can be taxing. I joke with him - but I am also a bit serious when I talk about him being old, and "crippled" some day. I push him to do the various rehabs etc - because truth be told, I too will be dealing with the consequences if he does not take care of his body.

 

Vanity is one thing, looking after your health and fitness is another.

 

And good luck telling an old dog that he CAN'T do the things that he has been doing. First rule is never expect them to change, accept him as he, and his life style is at this point.

 

And of course you may be different, but I am 37 right now - and I couldn't imagine wanting to get anywhere near some 70 year old grey sagging balls.

[No_Go]

Op, I had a story like yours... Or not quite, but I see similarities.

 

He was 46, walked from his own latin american country to the US, build life there, artist, rugged, macho... I was 27, unexperienced, overeducated, virgin. We had a summer romance, hot sex, hot trips, he pretty much taught me about life. I traveled him to his country to reconnect him with his family again after over 20 years that he left them... They were treating me like princess, I was so touched by his mom's attitude with whom we communicated only non-verbally since we didn't speak a language in common.

 

However, the fact that he lived alone pretty much all his adult life made him a tough person to be with... It was his way or the high way. He had a lot of money problems, so I was pouring money to help him out. In the instant that he realized I'm pulling off, he turned extremely controlling, and abusive, including physical abuse. I was very traumatized by the experience, it took me almost an year to recover and "detach" from him...

 

If I stopped at the summer fling episode, or the family visit, it would be one of the best experiences of my life. But the rest was grim, if I stayed with him, I'd be sacrificing my own safety, money, career etc. Do I regret it - no, it was an unforgettable experience. What I regret is I didn't stop on time.

 

Think about it and make your own decision, but it is a skill to learn to distinguish romance and fantasy from reality.

 

P.S. Same man dated another European girl, 24, when he was 43. From what he told me, they had explosive romance too, which didn't end well... So for men like this, I tend to think these stories are pattern, not exception.

 

@pteromom: I see his age as a red flag too. No doubt about this. I am not so stupid (even if I may sound like one because I am on cloud nine...) to think it's a great deal to be engaged/married with someone thirty years older than you. It obviously is NOT. But for instance one of the persons I knew to be super in love all life long with her husband had the same age difference: she was in her twenties, he was in her fifties, they got married and had children. Once I had a very intimate conversation with her (she is 65 now) and she told me look, I am widowed since almost 10 years, and I had to forget what marriage is when I was just 50 because he was 80 and was not a real husband anymore on many levels. BUT I did not regret what I did. We loved each other like crazy and I'm thankful for the wonderful years together - don't you think it's just so romantic?

And I know there may be more "suitable" men out there for me, but if you've ever fallen in love with someone you should know how hard it could be to thank him for the adventure and move on because there are red flags in your relationship.

Oh about my sex life and future sex life... very hard to say he will soon be unable to satisfy me, because I had a total of 6 men and among these six (younger, some of them extremely fit, etc.) he is more sexually worthy than them all put together. Maybe because our typical city shrinking violets are more narcissistic and posers in bed too. I understood the difference between an intercourse and having real sex. I have always been very loose and sexloving, so more than once I thought "this guy is not a great deal" under the sheets. I've got this mix of being sexually active and wanting romance so I hardly get laid easily, but when I get laid, I have high expectations. This is why I'm like "ok, he will be old when I'll be 40, but now???". Why do you think he just wants sex from me? If he envited me to move in with him so far from my home, why should you believe he wants just a fling? Commitment is not about sex only, but it is important in my opinion. Attraction and passion are important deals and I know it very well, I was trying to put them aside to please my family once, and I made a big mistake.

 

@recentchange: Life on the sea definitely is not an easy one. I think it is this life to be as strong and healthy as a 30 year old with the experience of a 90 year old. But, and I am serious, next time I get to see him - almost 3 weeks missing - if he wants me he will have to quit doing too dangerous things. I can bear he goes fishing stripers and cods, but not that he goes after whales. It sound funny, but I know it is nothing to be too easy about. If he wants be he must accept a few limits to his courage and freedom, he can do whatever he wants but I do have some rights too.

 

@gaius: I do agree. But I think the worst supply is the one we have over south of France. First because the "chicos latinos" are just fame and no substance, second because particulary the coastline I am living on (St Tropez to Monaco) is the paradise of the rich, not really of the masculine. Probably here you can find the richest men on earth, litterally, you easily meet men throwing money at you coming from everywhere - but most of them really lack of masculinity. Nothing against wealth (I am not a left wing fanatic!) but maybe this high profile, no pain lifestyle brought them to become anything but manly. There are exceptions but the main crowd is like that and there is a terrific lack of values.

 

@maggie4: what do you mean with different given value?

Anyway, he does not have children. Three marriages one of which ended with him widowed.

[SoftViolin]

OP, you might be one of the people who need to try out what they put their mind to, and make their own mistakes, so I say go for it. I am not saying it will be a mistake - no one can know that.

 

I do agree there are more red flags than green flags in your story. It will be a foreign country with a man, who you don't really know (this takes longer than a summer), even though you have a strong sense of infatuation. Age difference? Well, you are 24 and imagining yourself at 50 at this point seems impossible, so just trust all of those who say right now that age difference does matter long term, or at least keep this in the back of your mind.

 

In the end - if you leap and you fall down, you will get up and you will have experienced something to add to your life's diary. Or maybe you will safely land on the other side - who knows!

[BluEyeL]

For the reasons the others mentioned, I also think you'd make a mistake to move there and marry this man. But I also think it will not last and you'll split before you can be in your 30s and him in his 60s. You'll just waste some time, you have time, you could go for it. But the sensible thing would be to not do it.

[Jj66]

I have so many regrets about doing what was sensible when I wanted to do something else. Life's an adventure and all too short. This is the stuff movies are made about (hopefully not a tragedy though). You can do the sensible thing - it's what a rational risk-averse person would do. Or you can roll the dice and follow your dreams. It will likely not turn out as you hoped but it could be fantastic. If I were young like you, I would absolutely throw caution to the wind, but that's the swashbuckling romantic seafarer in me talking.

[M1402]

Now that I am calming down you don't need to make me notice the age difference is huge anymore -- I figured out it is. Yes, even if I pretend not to care I know it is there and it is probably the biggest red flag, in my view it is beyond the fact of moving itself.

 

I don't find lack of education a red flag instead. I do think education is important but I don't have the snobbery to tell someone's worth by his/her education. I do give a lot of importance to his ability and skills instead, he has been around the globe for a lot of years working hard, 10 years ago he came back to his native new england to settle down. Alone, but to settle down. He organized his life fishing/we charter boating during the right season and running this local business all by himself or almost, he developed a layman knowledge in law reading tons of books because he knew that as he was not rich nor educated he had to know how to avoid problems and work properly. He built his shack and fishery with his bare hands. He might drink beer and use foul language but I have no doubt he is intelligent. Maybe you are not impressed as I am because you are so lucky to have such tough, self made lads in your environments, but think that I never met one in my life. And plus, I don't know if you consider it important in a relationship, but I laugh all the time with him! He's so so funny, he tells things straight ahead, his vulgar loud laugh, it is enough to make me laugh. I mean it's so complicated to explain what you feel!

 

The whole thing now for me is not whether to move just for an adventure or not, my main problem is that moving in with him for me would mean I'd plan a family. I'd like to be a young mother possibly, so one of my fears is what if I decide to have children and something does not work? Can I bring my american kids back at my home? This is what worries me most probably.