Justaguy007 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 First time posting. I have been with her for 4 years she was an escort just before I meet her. During our relationship she has continually keep track of her ex's as well as the men who paid her for sex, looking them up on FB saving pictures keeping track of them there lives and there whereabouts. She says she does it when she is board. Each time I catch her she says she will stop but she never does. She pursued one older guy she went with just before we started dating, she refused to get rid of him any time we had a fight she would email him and tell him about her life sending him pictures of herself ect... Yesterday I finally told her if she did not stop with her obsession of all her ex's and past clients that I could not be with her anymore. I told her I have no desire to look up anyone from my past I am with her and she's the most important person in my life. She said well I'm not cheating on you and there's nothing wrong with me looking people up and researching them. She said she would continue and I was wrong for telling she should not do it. So I am asking am I wrong ? I feel she is always looking for someone else maybe waiting for a married ex to split or married client to dovorce, she says no I'm just board. I told her there are millions of things to do other being obsessed with the prior men you had sex with. I do love her very much and provide everything for her I'm not perfect but I do treat her very well. What does everyone think ? Thanks
Buddhist Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 It's a personal call. You're entitled to decide what's right for you in a relationship. Of course you might have to make good on your word though, so best be sure about it. I doubt she is going to stop because it sounds like two things... 1. It is an obsession and it's got nothing to do with boredom. 2. She needs to get out of denial and seek therapy for whatever is driving it if she wants to be healthy. I wouldn't be too worried about her leaving you, it probably is just a mental obsession but I think there's a lot more to it than filling in time. It sounds like an addiction.
clam Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 OP, I agree with your assessment. It seems like she is just biding her time until one of these married clients ends up divorced and she can move right into his life. She is keeping her options open. What line of work is she in now? Or does she even work?
Author Justaguy007 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Posted September 9, 2015 Well she works for me in the food industry, she gets paid for a full week but probably does the equivalent of 3 days of actual work. I did not mention it but she also has a drinking problem, she drinks daily from afternoon till evening. I don't drink or anything. She comes from a messed up home her parents were swingers.
Buddhist Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Well she works for me in the food industry, she gets paid for a full week but probably does the equivalent of 3 days of actual work. I did not mention it but she also has a drinking problem, she drinks daily from afternoon till evening. I don't drink or anything. She comes from a messed up home her parents were swingers. Well no matter where she came from maybe it's time you stopped enabling her. Pay her for the hours she actually works, get her into a therapists office. If she's not cool with that get a new girlfriend. Seriously, messed up people are messed up people. They can come good but they've got to not be deep in that river in Egypt, in order to come good.
Vintage79 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Well - I don't really wan to say it, but honestly, what do you expect when dating a (ex)prostitute? A quality relationship?
clam Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Ok, so she doesn't really "work", she is an alcoholic, and she is trolling the internet likely trying to hook up with old clients. Exactly WHY do you want to be entangled in this mess? And please don't say "because you love her." There are plenty of people you can love who aren't former prostitutes/alcoholics/potential cheaters.
Author Justaguy007 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Posted September 9, 2015 Your absolutely right so what's wrong with me ? I am a good looking guy, athletic very fit doctorate degree business owner I have no idea why I stay with her. I'm in my 40's she in her 30's
LostOnes05 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Either she stops or she is out. Make her work and get some hobbies to keep her busy. Don't be her piggy bank while she decides who she is going to be with. Although the past history is troubling, the effect on your future could be bleak if she has a child for you or you keep letting her be a leech. 1
clam Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Your absolutely right so what's wrong with me ? I am a good looking guy, athletic very fit doctorate degree business owner. I have no idea why I stay with her. I'm in my 40's she in her 30's Time to go for some counseling. Since you have no idea why you stay with her, this speaks volumes to a certain amount of codependency on your part. Look it up, learn about it. You are enabling a very unhealthy person to basically leech off of you and you have no idea why. It's because you do not have healthy boundaries for yourself in place. A good therapist can help you sort this out.
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