jen1447 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 While I understand the theory behind 'negging,' I still can't imagine that a beautiful girl would bed down some guy who looks like a bridge troll just because he used the technique on her. I just can't. I imagine it'd be more subtle than that overall. Like if she responded to the original negging, he might go passive aggressive and say "haha, just kidding, don't overreact so much," she invests bc low self esteem, they go on dates, he alternates passive aggressiveness with abuse, she gets conditioned over time to associate both with his acceptance and 'love' of her, he sees the strategy works for keeping her in his stable, insults are tolerated and become commonplace, dysfunctional dynamic perpetuates. There are quite a few instances of attractive women with troll-like men, and not all bc of money. You see it more in lower-income situations, and the women are often essentially prisoners. (I've intervened in a few of these and the hold can be really hard to break.) 1
Gary S Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 negging - putdowns designed to start an argument. It's a challenge (negative challenge, which is bad). It works....if she's arguing with the man, guess what - she's having a conversation with him, which was the goal of the player. The player is not looking for a quality relationship, just another notch on his bedpost. It has nothing to do with nagging, lol It's a bottom of the barrel way to start a conversation with someone, lol......... it's really desperate. Why not just talk with people who like you and want to talk to you - that's what I say. If you are truly looking for love, you are only looking for one, so you don't have to talk to everybody. But the players have an agenda.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Negging itself is unreliable, outdated, and quite honestly dumb, But the idea behind negging is not, it's brilliant and then some. The whole idea behind negging is to approach a woman differently than most, To be original in a sea of unoriginality, with a personality to boast! The reason negging was successful back then, and still somewhat to this day, It broke up the monotony behind hearing some deviation of "you're hot" as men say, To be remembered and to be different, to have your name remembered too, To be the "different" guy that she actually may want to choose. Sure, there is crap out there regarding her subconscious and thoughts, How negging will get her to yearn for approval, though it often does not, It's not like some guy on a train who dresses like a bum can use negging and try, But a good looking and likable guy? I'm willing to bet she doesn't even bat an eye. For those who believe negging is just a way predators 'judge their prey', Oh come on, are we projecting much I dare say? Someone like that generally doesn't approach with a neg, Don't they tend to be 'perfect' until they have you on one leg? 2
xxoo Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 negging - putdowns designed to start an argument. It's a challenge (negative challenge, which is bad). It works....if she's arguing with the man, guess what - she's having a conversation with him, which was the goal of the player. . So basically it's the "any attention is good" approach? I thought it was more of a middle school "the boys like the girls they tease," but this is sounding more preschool level. 2
scorpiogirl Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 A guy that needs to resort to this clearly demonstrates a lack of skill in the conversation department. I respond to smart and witty, not negative and passive aggressive. I don't get into conversations trying to defend my hair or shoes or my nerdy glasses to strangers who are rude enough to point these things out. Boys do this. Men approach a woman with charm, wit, intelligence, confidence and a genuine smile. She will reciprocate.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Men approach a woman with charm, wit, intelligence, confidence and a genuine smile, establish rapport, then very delicately tease you about your enormous hand size.She will reciprocate. Sorry, had to, but I fixed it for you, Now you've been negged, and it wasn't obtuse. Coming from guy who you might actually like, I'm willing to bet you wouldn't think twice. 2
Kamille Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Sorry, had to, but I fixed it for you, Now you've been negged, and it wasn't obtuse. Coming from guy who you might actually like, I'm willing to bet you wouldn't think twice. Bravo DrReplyInRhymes for delving into the intricacies of negging. I think negging is a misleading attempt to teach the men who resort to reading PUA how to flirt. I believe PUA books use negging as a misleading term to teach their readers how to flirt. Teasing is certainly a fun part of flirting. And teasing is about gently making fun of someone's vulnerabilities. Teasing is about showing you like someone, vulnerabilities and all. The issue with negging is that it's the concept of "flirtatious teasing" packaged with the idea that men should dominate and be predators. It's often poorly executed, gauchely done. Men who have negged me often come off as extremely self-conscious. The neg is about them winning, it's not about us getting to know each other. It loses that aura of "we could have fun together" which is mandatory in successful flirting. The examples Art Critic brought up are a case in point. 2
scorpiogirl Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Sorry, had to, but I fixed it for you, Now you've been negged, and it wasn't obtuse. Coming from guy who you might actually like, I'm willing to bet you wouldn't think twice. Gosh, I'm glad you know me better than I do. That kind of " teasing" doesn't work on me upon a first approach. If there are women who respond positively then clearly you're meant for each other. I'm very open to teasing with someone I know and who knows me. In fact it's an important part of a relationship, but again not when someone is trying to get to know me. But understand that this "negging" thing is not cute and doesn't appeal to a lot of women. Men have done this to me and it's not attractive.
writergal Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Men who neg, like to use complisults - a combination of insult and compliment to throw off the woman whom they're negging. "You're not really my type (insult), but I like your outfit (compliment)." Something like that. *Shrug* Negging is lame. Don't do Negs!" Nancy Reagan said so.
No Limit Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 The point of PUA isn't a relationship, it's getting laid, and the insecure ones are the easier prey - that's what tricks like negging are for. Personally I find it funny to observe.
writergal Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 The point of PUA isn't a relationship, it's getting laid, and the insecure ones are the easier prey - that's what tricks like negging are for. Personally I find it funny to observe. I like leggings, not neggings. <--- my bumper sticker idea. 2
joseb Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 From my understanding, it's an attempt to be different from other guys. Rather than approaching an attractive girl and trying desperately to impress her and tell her how beautiful she is, and buying her drinks, the idea is to be more playful and teasing, and qualify compliments. I'm not sure I buy into it totally, as it definitely seems a little manipulative, but I get the idea of trying not to be like the 99 guys before. Hot women tire of that.
Anderlie Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Ugh negging is so lame, it really is. Guys who do it think they stand out from the guys who just do the 'ur soooo hot' line but really they are different sides to the same coin; both lack imagination and can't engage with women in any meaningful way. A guy who can actually talk WITH a woman and not AT her will always run rings around these chumps looks be damned. 3
bluefeather Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Sorry, had to, but I fixed it for you, Now you've been negged, and it wasn't obtuse. Coming from guy who you might actually like, I'm willing to bet you wouldn't think twice. too funny! I hadn't heard of the term before, but now that I see the definition, I have read about it and have kind of felt it from 1 or 2 douchebags who were not my friends. It feels like an air (is that the right spelling, DrReplyInRhymes?) they carry towards women in general. That is kind of the word I associate with people who act that way - douchebags. To those who ask why/how it works on some, well ask how one can put up with any abuse in a relationship. The reasons are probably the same. And abuse happens quite often. I'll tell you a sad but true story. One day I was swapping girl stories with an other guy. Some friendly bragging, notch counting, normal guy talk. But then he decided to share with me how he was able to get chicks... his way? Target specifically a girl with low self-esteem and come in and swoop her off her feet. Compliment her up and make her feel like she is awesome, in order to trick her into falling in love, because no one had ever made her feel that way before. His goal was not to improve their self-esteem. At least that I could be able to find some nobility in. No, his goal was to seek injured targets, and exploit their weaknesses in order to gain favor. His method was false affection. I lost respect for him on that day. There are real people out there with mindsets like that.
anduina Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 It's annoying. I've walked away from guys who've tried it, leaving them with their mouths hanging open.
bluefeather Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 That's called "pozzing" I think Yes, I read about this term later today as well. Weird stuff. It sounds psychotic to me.
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