Toodaloo Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Someone mentioned this in another thread and I have seen it come up a few times and heard its a PUA trick... Is it really putting someone down to big yourself up? Why would anyone sane find that attractive?
Buddhist Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Someone mentioned this in another thread and I have seen it come up a few times and heard its a PUA trick... Is it really putting someone down to big yourself up? Why would anyone sane find that attractive? Sane people don't. It's a trick used to prey upon people with fragile sense of self so that they try and win that person's approval. It's a dating technique that ensures you are always putting your dick in crazy. 9
Yummm Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I've heard of negging before and think it's pathetic. On one hand, light flirting does happen when you 'take the piss' out of the other person in a jokey way, this does show that the male is the 'alpha' and i've seen it be attractive. But outright putting her down in order to show that 'you're the man'? Nah, pathetic. PUA is all bollox, don't read into it!
Author Toodaloo Posted September 9, 2015 Author Posted September 9, 2015 PUA is all bollox, don't read into it! Oh I know that! I just can't quite believe that people are encouraged to do this in order to attract others though. Its just... just... so so stupid?!?!?! Its like saying if you see a high cliff jump off because then you will not ever have to worry about getting cancer or some other terrible disease again. Nope but you will be dead so makes the whole worry null and void!
lino Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 PUA sounds silly from the little I've heard about it. Never heard of this negging though.
losangelena Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I had a guy once put me down for the semicolon usage in my dating profile, then followed it up with, "but I could teach you." Pfffft, yeah right. I told him to stick it where the sun don't shine.
Buddhist Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I had a guy once put me down for the semicolon usage in my dating profile, then followed it up with, "but I could teach you." Pfffft, yeah right. I told him to stick it where the sun don't shine. Teach you what? How to be a pedantic arse.... 4
Author Toodaloo Posted September 9, 2015 Author Posted September 9, 2015 I had a guy once put me down for the semicolon usage in my dating profile, then followed it up with, "but I could teach you." Pfffft, yeah right. I told him to stick it where the sun don't shine. Oh you are a bad girl for abusing the poor semi colon in such a way! Why on earth did you ever introduce it to OLD?!?! What has the semi colon ever done to harm you??? Do you know I am tempted to get a PUA book just to find out what they are actually saying in them. 1
Jj66 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Playful teasing works for me. If she's gorgeous, kind and gentle teasing her about her appearance can work because she's so used to guys tripping over their tongues when they see her, telling her how beautiful she is, etc. Don't be like other guys! Don't be intimidated or mesmerized by her looks. If you mention looks at all, you should tease her. I didn't know there was a name for this. I imagine this is what they mean by "negging". I made time with a woman who looked like a supermodel by asking her where she teaches. When she asked me why I thought she was a teacher I said it seems every woman who takes an interest in me is a college professor, a yoga teacher, or lonely divorcee and you look a little nerdy so I just figured you for a college professor. She laughed and then asked me seriously why I thought she looked nerdy because she had an image to maintain as a celebrity interviewer. I told her I was just teasing, she actual looks like she could be a model. Then she asked me what I did. Oh, you mean when I'm not banging college professors or teasing supermodels?... It's hard to imagine outright put downs working. That's just rude.
Zagan Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 It's also a tactic insecure abusive/controlling people use to feel out the ones with esteem issues so they can make easy targets of them. 2
Gaeta Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I think I got negged this morning. He tried to call me at 11pm last night. I didn't answer (who calls people at this time of the night). This morning I said I was in bed early my weekend trip exhausted me. He replied: Oh I see, you easily exhaust. *block* I love my new phone and all its useful options. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Someone mentioned this in another thread and I have seen it come up a few times and heard its a PUA trick... Is it really putting someone down to big yourself up? Why would anyone sane find that attractive? Is this the same as back-handed compliments? I hear using such back-handed compliments, if used playfully and with someone you know well, to help attracting someone.
Art_Critic Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 It's hard to imagine outright put downs working. That's just rude. I thought she looked nerdy Is a put down of her looks, so she responded to that..
losangelena Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Here is Wiki's take on negging: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negging
Zagan Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I think I got negged this morning. He tried to call me at 11pm last night. I didn't answer (who calls people at this time of the night). This morning I said I was in bed early my weekend trip exhausted me. He replied: Oh I see, you easily exhaust. *block* I love my new phone and all its useful options. I'm not sure this quite qualifies... That could have been a light hearted reference to sex.. 11pm isn't that late, not to me anyway but to a lot of people I'm sure it is. My phones got a wonderful useful option too, it's called not giving my number to weirdos
jen1447 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Unfortunately there are emotionally vulnerable ppl who are susceptible to this. It's not unlike the 'love' that some abusers show to their victims - a sort of security blanket that this attention, dysfunctional as it is, is an indicator of personal value. 3
Author Toodaloo Posted September 9, 2015 Author Posted September 9, 2015 11pm isn't that late, not to me anyway but to a lot of people I'm sure it is. If you get up at 4-5am each morning 11pm is being a dirty stop out! I made time with a woman who looked like a supermodel by asking her where she teaches. When she asked me why I thought she was a teacher I said it seems every woman who takes an interest in me is a college professor, a yoga teacher, or lonely divorcee and you look a little nerdy so I just figured you for a college professor. She laughed and then asked me seriously why I thought she looked nerdy because she had an image to maintain as a celebrity interviewer. I told her I was just teasing, she actual looks like she could be a model. Then she asked me what I did. Oh, you mean when I'm not banging college professors or teasing supermodels?... It's hard to imagine outright put downs working. That's just rude. The example you give is what I would call flirting or finding an opening conversation game bit. Being called "nerdy" these days is a compliment and its implying that she is intelligent in an off hand/ chatty way. No problem there. An approach like that would have got a response from me. This guy was damn rude. I like block and delete functions! 1
Author Toodaloo Posted September 9, 2015 Author Posted September 9, 2015 Here is Wiki's take on negging: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negging Is a back handed compliment the same as a put down though? Is negging both or just one? Saying someone is ruggedly handsome is very different to saying they look a mess and will probably get a completely different response? Still confused...
Jj66 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Just read a psychology today article that explains we are all more receptive compliant when we have taken a temporary hit to our self-esteem that we can't blame the sender for. The same article talked about another form called "nagging" that we all are aware of from the stereotype of the nagging wife. The article stated that these tactics are used by both genders to obtain compliance and while they may work short term they do not work long term. Eventually, the receiver will start resenting the sender, etc. 2
losangelena Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I think the important part to keep in mind is that negging is meant to undermine one's self-esteem. Is it lighthanded flirting or backhanded compliments or downright rudeness? If the intention is to tear down instead of build up, then it's negging.
Art_Critic Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 just google "examples of negging" and you will get an idea... “You know, I like that outfit you’ve got on… but I don’t know… your shoes don’t really match. You should have gone with tan boots…” "Interesting choice of hair color, is that natural?" those were from a couple of pages I went to... one more rude than the other but both designed to make her feel self conscious about herself and engage in conversation.
JustGettingBy Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Some people find it attractive, but most of them are people you don;t want to date anyway.
Author Toodaloo Posted September 9, 2015 Author Posted September 9, 2015 those were from a couple of pages I went to... one more rude than the other but both designed to make her feel self conscious about herself and engage in conversation. See those are the sorts of comments I would make if I were trying to insult someone stupid, who has really got on my nerves and I have to be polite but with out them noticing. Bit like the time I said good bye to someone by saying "Well I would like to say its be nice meeting you"... I dunno. The whole thing doesn't really wash with me. I can't see how any woman would find that attractive unless they have serious issues that should be dealt with by a professional rather than by getting into a relationship... makes people who use PUA a bit... abusive I guess is the right word if they are preying on people like that in order to pull.
Lois_Griffin Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 While I understand the theory behind 'negging,' I still can't imagine that a beautiful girl would bed down some guy who looks like a bridge troll just because he used the technique on her. I just can't.
losangelena Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 While I understand the theory behind 'negging,' I still can't imagine that a beautiful girl would bed down some guy who looks like a bridge troll just because he used the technique on her. I just can't. But yet, they try.
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