CurlyIam Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 I've just had the most pathetic break up. You know how they say there's no way of it not getting messy? YOu're right, it didn't. I've contacted him today, trying to tell him (again) how neglected I felt and reminded him that he had promised ONE week end get-away. Well, he can't give me that. He has to work - it's a complicated story, he works in the entertainment, on the technical part. Basically they call him when they need him and he gets paid a certain amount of money. If he's working a certain amount of money, other than what he earns, he gets a whole lotta other benefits-the French system, etc. So he tells me this is the best time of the year to do it, and he thinks that he only has until end June do it. BS, according to the law, he's got 1 f*cking year. Healso made some bad investments an he's trying to get those money out. So I have a bf who's never there, who's very tense, who won't touch me in weeks, who recently gave him IM address to his ex - but then due to pressure, deletead it... I have no internship, I need encouragement and after one year and almost a half you bet I want more than a day per week, day when he's not present or we fight because I try to talk to him - he cannot take any criticism or observation. Last I checked he wasn't perfect, you know?? So I talk to him and I tell him that I'm notalright and that we have had another big talk once and he had promised to go away with me for 2 f*cking days. So what I'm asking him is not to work 5 days a week, but 4 ONCE! He won't do it. We had this conversation over IM. I told him I had to go (I really did). LAter on he sends me a message telling me that he's trapped doing a job that he doesn't enjoy and that he understands what I have decided (break up). I messaged him back that if so, he should stop sending me any messages. That's it. It must be the world's most pathetic break up. I've been on the IM and he didn't appear. I've blocked him and I have my phone closed too! What a jerk!!! No tears, no try, no nothing!!! I am soooooo glad I met him and went out with him. I am sooooooo glad I've been so blind, 'cause next time I'll see better and I'll have a hell of a refference point too! Jeez!! What a coward! I'm so dissapointed in ... everything! One lousy day! Well, it's good to know your price later than never.
westernxer Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Now's the perfect time to take a little jog, wouldn't you say?
ConfusedInOC Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Sorry Curly. It sucks, I know, but trust me, better to be the dumper than a blindsided dumpee....
Author CurlyIam Posted May 13, 2005 Author Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Now's the perfect time to take a little jog, wouldn't you say? It's 00:22 AM here. I've blocked and deleted him. Two seconds ago I was trying to undo it. I mean... who does this? Who just... gives up? I know it's his style. Cool down for a day or two and then try again when I'm not mad anymore. It doesn't work. The thing is... I feel so dumb, because I thought it was for real. I really did. One doesn't just give up like that. I'm so ashamed!
Author CurlyIam Posted May 13, 2005 Author Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Sorry Curly. It sucks, I know, but trust me, better to be the dumper than a blindsided dumpee.... Confused, when are going to see that there are no dumpers or dumpees? There are only winners and losers. Even if I left him, I'm still the loser, make no mistake about it!
westernxer Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 You've never gone for a midnight run? You won't feel like a loser after the endorphins kick in. If anything, you'll be able to think more clearly. Go for it! You may even beat yourself.
Author CurlyIam Posted May 13, 2005 Author Posted May 13, 2005 Wex, what I feel like is finishing the bottle of white wine I purchased yesterday. It was intented for my new fish and sur cream receipe. Too bad for the fish! I feel numed. Not even angry - if I were angry, I would have beaten the European record, that's for sure. Not even sad. How to you English people call it? Drown in disbelief, LOL!! Well, I can sure smile about it!
westernxer Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 There is no honorable breakup. Each one is pathetic in its own way. Yours happened to be anti-climactic, which is perfectly okay. If it weren't for computers, you'd have to do it the hard way. I feel sorry for the fish.
Author CurlyIam Posted May 13, 2005 Author Posted May 13, 2005 My break up is like rotten watter. At least if it would have been like spoiled wine, I would have said it was sparkling at one moment. The things we imagine about the others...
westernxer Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 We live in a world of metaphors, but do we have to?
Author CurlyIam Posted May 13, 2005 Author Posted May 13, 2005 Right now my whole world depends on when andhow I finish this damn fine white wine! Thanks Lord i ain't cheap when it comes to licquor!
westernxer Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 See, you're not a loser. Maybe a bit tipsy, but definitely not a loser.
Author CurlyIam Posted May 13, 2005 Author Posted May 13, 2005 Oh, I'm a loser, alright. Me and my high standards Wanna know what the really pathetic thing isn west? I didn't have to block him and I don't have to close my phone, because he ain't gonna call... now that is really pathetic.
Author CurlyIam Posted May 13, 2005 Author Posted May 13, 2005 Anyway, at least it makes me feel like I was in control. Beats the desire to check the phone every 2 sec. I've really done it this time. Me and my taste in men!
westernxer Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Last I checked, there were plenty of men to go around. France is full of them, and they're all ready to give you some lovin'. Unless they're femmes.
HotCaliGirl Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 What a jerk, to just cut off everything. I've been there. And I know what you mean about cutting off the phone. When i"m in your situation, I turn off my cell phone and unplug my phone so I don't have to deal with bf calls and messages. If he really loved you, he'd have found a way to take a day off. Better he's gone now than for you to put up with his crap. And it's important you buy the good liquor like you say, you don't want any hangovers, especially now that you're running...
Author CurlyIam Posted May 13, 2005 Author Posted May 13, 2005 All I did is drink just a couple of them glasses. What type of man just gives up? a coward, that's why! So self possessed he's not even thinking about the other people. This isn't just about a day, HotCaliGirl! He's tired. He isn't up to it. I'm asking for too damn much; I'm actually asking for someone to be inlove with me, to care about me, to want to at least worry for me. He's not any of this things and I think he got it sooner than me. He just couldn't leave me - he never can leave anyone. It demands too much !! So he was simply himself without being nasty or something. I think I lasted beyond expectations. He told me last week that if I find a nice appartment, to tell him, he's in for it. ME!!! No, thank you, I won't also chew your food ot wipe your butt! I think he's relieved that I've finally decided to leave. What a fool!!!
Author CurlyIam Posted May 13, 2005 Author Posted May 13, 2005 I just take failures so badly! I so wanted to be happy with him. I was so proud for holding off men - I've only slept with one men before him. IT's really special to me and he's taught me a great deal about me and my sexuality. I feel... almost raped emotionally. Don't know how to explain it... I know that it's mostly nothing, just sex, but it's not to me. I feel sick to my stomack!
westernxer Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 No wonder you feel downtrodden. You live, you love, you lose, you learn. Get some rest tonight (if you can).
alphamale Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 you both are in France? BE GLAD HE JUST EVEN HAS A JOB you'll be back together within 48 to 72 hours, almost guaranteed, CIA
MySugaree Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Curly, you can do so much better than your loser boyfriend, and will. My guess is that your relationship will limp along until you find a new love. A break-up rarely involves one big Break-up. Rather there are a bunch of mini-break-ups--the cumulative effect of which kill the relationship. You'll survive this sadder and wiser, and you'll appreciate that much more the man of your dreams when you two finally meet.
alphamale Posted May 14, 2005 Posted May 14, 2005 Originally posted by MySugaree Curly, you can do so much better than your loser boyfriend, and will. of course she can do better MYSUGAREE. But you are forgetting how much women love to be mistreated and taken advantage of.
Author CurlyIam Posted May 14, 2005 Author Posted May 14, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale you both are in France? BE GLAD HE JUST EVEN HAS A JOB you'll be back together within 48 to 72 hours, almost guaranteed, CIA Please don't make fun of me, A! Just do what you do best, spit out the truth! Getting back together involves him moving actually moving his arse!! He won't. Because I don't even know what I want. I sure as hell don't want silance, that will NOT bring me BACK. I'm playing by the rules here: NC, erasing his old messages, erasing his IM address and blocking him. So h would actually have to do something and he knows it. And he's not. Because the truth, alpha, is that Im' a high maintainance b*tch. I wish I weren't but I am. I demand a hell of alot and I give a hell of a LOT. Tomorrow I'm actually going out with my male friends and I won't have the phone with me. He won't know that it'sbad news because I could just as well take the ohone with me, because HE WON't CALL because he's a chicken s***. He's scared of me!!! That's the truth! And I don't want to be older and wiser, I don't care about other men. I have no self esteem problem and I know that I look the best I've looked in years... it's my character. That one, I cannot put any make up on.
Author CurlyIam Posted May 14, 2005 Author Posted May 14, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale of course she can do better MYSUGAREE. But you are forgetting how much women love to be mistreated and taken advantage of. I confess I do. Provided that he's good in bed and he let's me have it ever so often !!
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