confused133 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Hi I was just wondering what people thought. Me and my ex boyfriend split up 4 week ago today we fell out a lot towards end and we werent happy. In past 4 week we've text everyday and met up few times for sex. Its not been an easy 4 week as first 2 week I begged cried pleaded, none of which worked apart from pushed him away but he always kept contact, at the weekend just gone he cried about losing me. anyway I started accepting its over and I heard things about him which he says isn't true but we argued really big fallouts too but after we had calmed down after few hours we always went back to being ok and texting again. I think its too late now to go no contact to see if he misses me because its been 4 week of texting, he's moving on with his life and I am too, we both do things with our own friends, its just this contact. Why do we keep texting loads throughout the day and night, it was only Monday we was talking about meeting up but then I caused an argument through my own insecurities, and now if I say something he says its over but laughs, he rang me twice yesterday too having a laugh with me. Someone please help me out on what to do, we both love miss and care for each other, I don't want to put pressure on and ask him because I don't want to push him away, my heads a mess....
drseuss Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Because your friends , but I don't think it will hit you that you have broken up and your mind won't truly move on until yu have a period of time apart , You might be able to stay in close contact and move on , but how is the contact making you feel ? 1
Satu Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Too much drama. Too much ego. It would be better for you both of you to go no contact, and move on. And please note: no contact isn't meant to be a way of making someone want you. It's a tool for getting over a breakup. 3
Author confused133 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Posted September 9, 2015 Because your friends , but I don't think it will hit you that you have broken up and your mind won't truly move on until yu have a period of time apart , You might be able to stay in close contact and move on , but how is the contact making you feel ? Its making me feel closer too him, like I've kind of still got him, I know he loves and cares for me a great deal, he tells all the time, and he also said if I'd just gave us space to start with we would be back together now but I didn't I dug and dug at him and made him depressed, were back ok again now as I've kind of accepted it, but it was only yesterday he said about us meeting up and if I'd not kicked off again we would be, its me I think who is causing it to be worse, I take 10 steps forward in us being right then I take 20 back
Strongrunner Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I think the problem is, is that you want to be back with him and the thought of giving him space scares you because you think you will lose him. The fact is, if you don't give him space and let him work out how he feels you will forever be a friend that texts and sleeps with you occasionally. You need to step back not just for him but for you. You deserve to move on and heal if need be. While you are still in contact you have hope and he has a friend with benefits and he will never commit to you again. I know it's hard I'm going through a break up myself (I broke it off). I miss him and all I want to do is contact him, but I know I will never heal and move on. Yes the person who initiates the break up also feels pain. Yes you can miss him and the time you spent together, but you need to accept it's potentially over and move on. The best way is no contact, concentrate on you it sounds like you both can't move on just yet so you are just using each other to ease the break-up. How will you feel when he meets someone new? Do you really want to be around and in the position to find out? Its making me feel closer too him, like I've kind of still got him, I know he loves and cares for me a great deal, he tells all the time, and he also said if I'd just gave us space to start with we would be back together now but I didn't I dug and dug at him and made him depressed, were back ok again now as I've kind of accepted it, but it was only yesterday he said about us meeting up and if I'd not kicked off again we would be, its me I think who is causing it to be worse, I take 10 steps forward in us being right then I take 20 back
Seth0194 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 You need to let go, we never want to hear it but you have too. Unless you are content with being a friend with benefits kinda relationship. Right after my break up with my ex we were the same way,she stayed with me (lived with me) and it did not work, after she moved out and NC was started it has gotten easier, I still miss her and will always love her but I do not want to see her with another man, I do not want to read on her social media how she is doing and how much she is growing. Its not that I do not care, I just do not want to see all that, grateful for the time we spent together but it has ended. You just need to let go, if its ment to work out, it will but you need to heal yourself and you can not do that in that state you are in. Best of luck to you. 1
Author confused133 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Posted September 9, 2015 Thank you for you're reply, I'm happy its working for you and I also know once I start it'll be better for me, I'm not as heart broken as I was 4 week ago, but speaking too him makes me worse, I just need to get started with no contact so I can move on, easier said than done I guess when he's still messaging me, I can block his calls but not his texts which is annoying, I've not got social media I've deactivated everything so I don't see anything but he's done same too, he's not one for telling people about his life, he's only told close friends about our break up. I'm going to start from now with no contact, wish me luck 1
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