AugustSnow Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I've heard a lot of people say over the years that if someone falls out of love with their partner then they never were in love with them in the first place. A few questions I have to ask in regards to this claim: 1. Is there any truth to that? 2. Can you truly fall out of love with someone, but have been in love with them at one point? 3. Why would a person doubt the sincerity of a person being in love with their partner once they have fallen out of love with them?
Clarence_Boddicker Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 1) Yes 2) Yes 3) Length of time from falling in love until falling out of love & the circumstances surrounding it. Actions always speak louder than words. I'm speaking from experience with my last ex who is probably a pathological liar. To me it would depend on the reasons why, how long the in love part was & how soon they fell in love with someone else. If you are really in love with someone, you're not going to be looking around the corner for your replacement.
Got it Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 What is love actually? Yes I think you could love someone at one time and lose it over another. Relationships span great periods of time and in a blink of an eye we can change which will impact how we see the world. Yes I have been madly in love to have lost it over the following decade.
autumnnight Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I tend to think that typical "falling out of love" is really falling out of the chemical reaction called infatuation. Deep, authentic love goes beyond butterflies, and has a big element of choice in it. HOWEVER, I do think someone can erode your love for them by their behaviors, neglect, betrayal, etc. By the time I decided to end my marriage, I no longer loved my husband. But I absolutely did when we married. No, I was far from perfect, but his neglect, distance, lack of intimacy, and the constant practical insecurity pretty much killed my love for him. He didn't love me either. Oh, he "needed" me, but he didn't love me.
jen1447 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 1. I don't think so. Bc something ends doesn't mean it never existed. 2. I think so. See above. At its core love is really just some neurochemical process anyway, so if you think of it less as a spiritual thing and more biological, it's not hard to grasp. I think ppl get mixed up thinking love is some "gift from the gods" or the like that lends it a mystical quality, and that such things aren't given lightly, etc., etc. I'm all for thinking love is pretty much the greatest thing there is, but it doesn't have to be based in mysticism.
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