Coollaxer Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 We used to not be able to keep our hands off each other, like hand jobs and fingering ect but we don't have sex very often. When we both lost our Virginites to each other I promised not to tell anyone and I promised I'd keep it between us, now it hasn't been the same since bc she found outi told my friends and I lied to her about it. I always feel like shot for this and this was about 2 months ago or 1 and a half, were 4 months into the relationship. But we just aren't that sexual anymore. Is this normal or is this the outcome of me lieng? And Also we started adding at the end of my senior year of school so she's a senior now and I'm a freshman in college, it's been VERY hard since we have cried a few times over the past few weeks over frustration of not seeing each other like we did the summer. I'm not pushing her and never will in a sexual way but is this cause I lied or because it's Been really hard the last few weeks? Keep in mind I go to a community college and our time is very limited now so I'm not really sure what to think, thoughts?? And we love each other. Like we both wanna get through college and hopefully get married one day
Zagan Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 She possibly feels devalued after you went blabbing to your mates despite assuring her you would keep her personal business to yourself. You have made her feel disrespected and probably embarrassed, therefore she isn't likely to feel all that comfortable with you sexually anymore. I'm sure the lying didn't help but it probably has more to do with the initial betrayal, and she has every right to feel that way. She gave her virginity to someone whos ego infront of his friends was more important than her trust.
xcupid Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 "Is this because I lied or because it's been really hard the last few weeks?" It could be both. You broke a promise you made to her. She could be embarrassed that you revealed something so personal to your friends about her. And you lied to her. She's lost trust in you. You have to mend that fence. That takes time (and a heartfelt apology). She might also be busy, busy and tired. But usually if you're hot for each other, you would want each other after not seeing each other for a period of time. So I'm guessing it's because you broke your promise and lied to her. Maybe you should romance her a little. Never hurts to show her how special she is to you so that she doesn't feel she's being taken for granted, even if you're not taking her for granted. Good luck.
Author Coollaxer Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 I really swear I'm not taking her for granted, k don't know why I told them, it was just an honest mistake and I'll never do it again. I love her so much and I tell her that constantly, I give her flowers every other week or so, I Try so hard! It's not about the sex it's just that I feel so horrible and guilty about lieng. I just miss the sexual things also and I regret telling them what I said
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I'm sorry, but that's not true. It wasn't 'an honest mistake'. You deliberately decided to tell other people something, you had promised would be kept a secret. That wasn't 'a mistake'. It was an inability for you to keep your mouth closed. What you need to do is to be honest with yourself and really, really think about precisely WHY you couldn't keep your mouth shut. Seriously, why, or how, could you simply not stop yourself? You have to fully acknowledge your indiscretion, and own it. ANd only when you do, will your apology even begin to sound sincere. because I feel certain that up to now, there must have been a time - or times - when she actually asked you the same thing: "Why did you do it? How could you? When you promised! Why did you say such a thing?" Right? And I bet you replied (something along the lines of), "I don't know! I'm sorry, it just came out! It was a mistake! I'm sorry!" Well, that doesn't wash, see? Because everything you do - everything anyone does - always has a reason. Nobody ever, ever does anything 'just because', or with no reason at all. And she knows it. So that's why you need to be up-front, honest and come clean. Because while you hide behind this pseudo-ignorance, this 'honest mistake', your credibility is zero, and she cannot trust you. Whether your intimacy will ever return, is a matter of pure conjecture. But you were her first. And you have tarnished that experience for her, by showing yourself in colours which really, are not too pleasant for her. Can you understand now, why she really hasn't the same interest in having sex with you? And can you blame her?
Author Coollaxer Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 I never wanted to say anything, one of my friends asked me in a group and they were all saying things and I just couldn't keep a straight face and they just knew. And then another friend I only told because he been always saying that I needed to get laid and I told him bc I told him I wanted my fist time to be special and not with some one that I would regret, and it was! But I never wanted to hurt her, you have to believe me... I truly love her and I'll never lie again, that's the only thing I've ever lied about was that and as found out by going through my phone. She has forgiven me and such, I have forgiven her for going through my phone, but i hope it's just that we both have so much on our plate right now because she teases me all the time and says things to me, she just never goes through with it. I'm telling everyone here, I truly love her and have told her that. I really do regret telling them and I don't know why I was a typical a ******* that night, bc I NEVER am that way and don't want to be. I just regret doing it but I just hope over the months it will fade away and we can move on from the relationship. About a week ago I asked how much trust she has on me and she said a significantly fair amount. So I guess it's just a waiting game for now
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